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Old 03-12-2015, 10:11 AM
 
2,057 posts, read 1,294,771 times
Reputation: 9997

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"Love spending time with you. Can I take you out for a real date next Saturday?"

So glad I'm not a young dating person these days. You guys have everything all confused. Just friends spooning and holding hands in bed together? Sex without being boyfriend/girlfriend? FWB and sexting with people you've never met except online?


Shaking my head.
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:16 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,464,529 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericpines123 View Post
I guess I feel like she thinks of us as more than good friends. I don't think she would be doing the things she would with me unless she's a b$#$*...

Hmm
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Ah, that is where this thread is going. Got it.

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that maybe she is.

He pays her way when they go out.

He buys her stuff.

She curls up next to him in bed and gets the nice, warm, cozy feeling of safety and security.

And yet...

OP, next time you are out with her, go for a walk afterward. Stop in some scenic place, turn to her, and go in for a kiss. If she kisses you back, go from there. If she turns her head or mumbles some excuse like she's not ready for that yet, or she says she doesn't want to mess up your friendship, you know she's been taking you for a six-month ride of free meals, deals, and feels.
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:51 AM
 
2,409 posts, read 2,628,232 times
Reputation: 1807
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that maybe she is.

He pays her way when they go out.

He buys her stuff.

She curls up next to him in bed and gets the nice, warm, cozy feeling of safety and security.

And yet...

OP, next time you are out with her, go for a walk afterward. Stop in some scenic place, turn to her, and go in for a kiss. If she kisses you back, go from there. If she turns her head or mumbles some excuse like she's not ready for that yet, or she says she doesn't want to mess up your friendship, you know she's been taking you for a six-month ride of free meals, deals, and feels.
This.
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:52 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,992,571 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that maybe she is.

He pays her way when they go out.

He buys her stuff.

Do we have any reason to believe that is true? It sounded more to me like they're in college and they hang out and grab a bite and study from time to time.
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:01 AM
 
8,544 posts, read 7,082,503 times
Reputation: 8978
Ask her out or stop putting yourself in situations that make you want more.

You're doing it to yourself. The last thing this board needs is another follow up thread "HELP IVE BEEN FRIENDZONED!"

Clearify your relationship.
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:09 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,008 posts, read 69,929,188 times
Reputation: 75777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
They shouldn't be in bed together, shouldn't be having sleepovers, all under this odd term of "hanging out".

It's no wonder so many are having trouble navigating the dating world! There is too much ambiguity with hanging out rather than dating intentionally. If you're not in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't be sharing their bed, not snuggling and cuddling as "friends". Stop trying to reap the benefits of relationships while being too wimpy to stand up and declare your intentions and actually ask someone on a date or to be in a relationship with you instead of playing around.
Kinda this.

OP, you can't leapfrog over the intermediary steps between hanging out and Relationship, without something going wrong. Ask her if she wants to go to the park or something on a weekend. This could still be a quasi-hanging-out. Do something romantic, like going rowing or canoeing in the pond, or whatever there is to do there. Take lunches, feed the ducks, visit the buffalo herd (if your park has one, lol), do whatever, or go to the exploratorium, if your city has one. Hold hands. Get close. At some point put your arm around her. See what happens.

Spring is right around the corner. It's almost impossible to share this type of activity, amid the budding flowers, with spring in the air, and not have romance result. Does it sound corny? Maybe. But who cares, as long as it works? Women love this kind of stuff. If a relationship results eventually, this is the kind of thing that she'd remember for years.

If you skip that stage, and just decide to lunge at her the next time you're "hanging out in bed", it may send totally the wrong signal. But, hey, it's your life, so you're the one who has to live with the fallout from whatever you want to do. Seems like you have a pretty good thing going, though, so far. Don't blow it.
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:15 AM
 
9 posts, read 3,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yes by asking the person out!
Asking her out on a date or asking if she'd be my girlfriend
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:15 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,008 posts, read 69,929,188 times
Reputation: 75777
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
Ask her out or stop putting yourself in situations that make you want more.

You're doing it to yourself. The last thing this board needs is another follow up thread "HELP IVE BEEN FRIENDZONED!"

Clearify your relationship.
Or, "HELP, WE JUST STARTED OUT KISSING, BUT SHE"S MISSED HER PERIOD, NOW! AM I REALLY GONNA BE IN FOR IT FOR 18 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT???!!!!"
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:18 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,008 posts, read 69,929,188 times
Reputation: 75777
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericpines123 View Post
Asking her out on a date or asking if she'd be my girlfriend
What is with this reluctance to actually date? Are you one of those guys who doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, and thinks mushy stuff is lame?

*SIGHHHHH*


OK, asking her to be your gf is better than just going for it the next time you're in bed.

But, if you ask her to be your gf, and she says "yes", what are you going to do for an encore? What's next? More hanging out, but with benefits? Would it kill you to go on a date?
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:20 AM
 
9 posts, read 3,963 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
What is with this reluctance to actually date? Are you one of those guys who doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, and thinks mushy stuff is lame?

*SIGHHHHH*


OK, asking her to be your gf is better than just going for it the next time you're in bed.

But, if you ask her to be your gf, and she says "yes", what are you going to do for an encore? What's next? More hanging out, but with benefits? Would it kill you to go on a date?
What's difference between eating together in nice dinner and a date? I've had multiple dinners with her but never 'official'
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