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I got told this by a girl the other day.. it's been 4 months now and I'm not sure if I should call them dates or just hanging out.. sometimes we will eat breakfast together or lunch or do dinner, if you count all of them up you are talking about 20+ So I brought up the subject and she said I was rushing a bit too fast (not in that wording) but she said that i was trying so hard to put a label on it and lets be friends first, she went on to say (because I asked her about the friends first) She said I did not say their would not be a possibility that nothing would happen down the road but let me get to know you more.
Mind you she got hurt badly in a bad relationship (I heard about it) and I kinda came out and said I know she had her walls up, but she said that with me always trying to put a label on it makes her just want to pull away sometimes.
In which that is my cue to back way off.
In the I don't know 2 months I did not ask I did get a kiss on the cheek, but we do no hand holding or touching unless she starts first.
Also she invited me to her family birthday party and of course you know I got asked questions and so did she.. I also get invited to a trip with her family out to the islands which I did take
I got told this by a girl the other day.. it's been 4 months now and I'm not sure if I should call them dates or just hanging out.. sometimes we will eat breakfast together or lunch or do dinner, if you count all of them up you are talking about 20+ So I brought up the subject and she said I was rushing a bit too fast (not in that wording) but she said that i was trying so hard to put a label on it and lets be friends first, she went on to say (because I asked her about the friends first) She said I did not say their would not be a possibility that nothing would happen down the road but let me get to know you more.
Mind you she got hurt badly in a bad relationship (I heard about it) and I kinda came out and said I know she had her walls up, but she said that with me always trying to put a label on it makes her just want to pull away sometimes.
In which that is my cue to back way off.
In the I don't know 2 months I did not ask I did get a kiss on the cheek, but we do no hand holding or touching unless she starts first.
Also she invited me to her family birthday party and of course you know I got asked questions and so did she.. I also get invited to a trip with her family out to the islands which I did take
launch....... let me ask u a question.. what do u want? How long are u supposed to be friends before u can be romantic? If she got out of a bad relationship, guess what? That's on her to take time off of dating and making sure she is ready to date again. All dating/relationships have some form of risk... the risk of getting hurt if things don't end well.
You can do whatever you want, but I would personally only date women that are ready to date. If she wants to go physically, that's different...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,866,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SubieB4
So I brought up the subject and she said I was rushing a bit too fast (not in that wording) but she said that i was trying so hard to put a label on it and lets be friends first, she went on to say (because I asked her about the friends first) She said I did not say their would not be a possibility that nothing would happen down the road but let me get to know you more.
She isn't interested in you that way and was being polite. She is interested in being friends, nothing more. Do not continue this unless you're 100% ok in just being friends forever. If you're hanging around because you are hoping more eventually will come of this you'll be disappointed.
When she told you "let's be friends first", that's an obvious sign of friend zoning. Either you continue being her friend if that's ok for you, or keep a distance. If she's into you, she'll reach out to you, so if she doesn't, you'll know for sure and stop wasting your time and energy on the bird you'll never catch.
I've been friends first with people that I've dated - but it wasn't a planned thing. We simply were friends then became attracted to each other. I'm not really sure how it works if you plan on being friends first - that's not very organic. It makes me think that she either isn't interested or is too scared to date - neither of which bode very well for you if you want a relationship with her.
I've been friends first with people that I've dated - but it wasn't a planned thing. We simply were friends then became attracted to each other. I'm not really sure how it works if you plan on being friends first - that's not very organic. It makes me think that she either isn't interested or is too scared to date - neither of which bode very well for you if you want a relationship with her.
I have a feeling she has slight trust issues due to what happened in the past.. but sometimes you need to move on from the past.
I agree it's not very natural.
Shes admitted to me that she cares for me and she was tired from jumping relationship to relationship.
I have a feeling she has slight trust issues due to what happened in the past.. but sometimes you need to move on from the past.
I agree it's not very natural.
Shes admitted to me that she cares for me and she was tired from jumping relationship to relationship.
You can rationalize her reasons to be not particular to you all day if you want to protect your own ego but at the end of the day, you aren't going to be in a relationship with this girl.
I've been friends first with people that I've dated - but it wasn't a planned thing. We simply were friends then became attracted to each other. I'm not really sure how it works if you plan on being friends first - that's not very organic. It makes me think that she either isn't interested or is too scared to date - neither of which bode very well for you if you want a relationship with her.
yeah i can totally see this, ur friends somewhere and then develop an attraction, but not something planned like oh lets just be friends first and see if an attraction develops if someone asks the other out.
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