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View Poll Results: Mother/wife ambitions less attractive than hyper career ambitions?
Yes 24 29.63%
No 57 70.37%
Voters: 81. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-19-2015, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,890 posts, read 5,194,739 times
Reputation: 14579

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It does sound easy if you leave out the mountains of dishes and laundry, as well as the routine up-keep of the home. Assuming there are no unplanned events, such as sick days, snow days, school breaks (remember, there are only 180 days of school), medical appointments, someone up all night puking, extracurriculars, or school functions. Babies are a walk in the park compared to the chaos of school-age children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
Because I would like to know what is so difficult.

Get them up. 7am?
Feed them. 7:30am?
Drop them at school. 8:30am? (delete if bus service is available)
6-7 hrs later pick them up 3:30pm? (delete if bus service is available)
3:30 -8pm? fix snack, take to park, take to museum, go over homework, bathe, dinner??



...................................
She will probably be tired. Babies sleep in increments and then want to be fed.

 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,903,945 times
Reputation: 22129
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post

Just in case you think I am trying to be argumentative - I'm not, I'm truly interested.
Well, there is a reason there are so many books on parenting. It's because it's hard. And not just for the reasons that people who don't have children might think. In the beginning, if a mother is breastfeeding, she might only get a few hours of sleep a day - and that is spread out during 24 hours - not 3 hours at a time. Some babies sleep pretty well from the beginning - and pretty well means they might sleep for 2-3 hours at a time. Some babies are colicky and almost never sleep. My friend's first baby would only sleep when she was walking around holding him. And only she could hold him the "right" way. So she barely slept at all. For months. And for me, breast feeding was excruciatingly painful for the first month or so. That means that 8-10 times a day, I was in absolute agony. And this is only the practical side of things. The mental side of things is something that is pretty much impossible to prepare for. I wasn't prepared to be so worried about my baby that I felt that if I didn't watch him, he would stop breathing and die. And the crying - in the beginning, you just don't know what to do. I can type this out for you but it's really just impossible to understand unless you've been there. You are completely exhausted, you have this brand new baby, he's crying, and you have no idea why! And he won't stop! And you are both taking turns holding him, he's been fed, he has a clean diaper, he's been burped, but he still won't stop crying! And adding into the equation that you love this little critter with a love so fierce, so all consuming, so pure that you didn't even know this kind of love existed. And when they get sick? Forget about it!

The reason that being parent is so hard isn't just because of a schedule or lack of sleep - it's because you are now responsible for a human being. A human being that you love with all your heart - and you want to be the best parent possible to give this little human being the best life possible. And it's hard.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:11 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
You sure stand in judgment of an awful lot of people. Why is your first thought, about so many people, a negative one?
So do you and so do others. Maybe it's because most of those I know who are lazy? If the kids are in school and the house is messy then what are they doing?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I read her post and I felt a hot wave of wanting to drop some whup ass, but I thought I better keep my mouth shut. The one thing that amazes me is how she's managed to fly under the radar for so long.
Oh so other people are fine to express their opinions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
From what I know of you, I don't find this surprising in the least.
You seem to know a lot about me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
To call a stay at home mom lazy is probably one of the most ignorant things I've read on this forum and man... that says a whole lot.

Mrs. Chow's mom had four kids and when I listen to the stories of them growing up and all the work her mother had to do and then to listen to that piece of drivel spouted off by someone that doesn't have a clue about raising children just sort of chaps me....
I said the ones I know are lazy because they are. Their kids are in school, the houses are messy and they don't cook. What do they do all day? Spend time online and watching television, and the wealthy ones I know spend all day shopping and working out. How is that not lazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
Why? They are in school until 3/3:30, the other spouse will probably be home by 7, and they will probably be in bed by 8. How is this hard? Pre-K kids are another story, but that's only 4-5 yrs and they usually need 12-18 hours of sleep during that time.

I'm not sure I could do it, but that's mostly because of boredom, not difficulty.
Yeah I don't get those SAHM. I understand if the kids aren't in school but if they are, then it's another story.

Last edited by Idon'tdateyou; 03-19-2015 at 05:42 PM..
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:14 PM
 
11,780 posts, read 8,561,876 times
Reputation: 3425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Yes - and then you said that it's only for 4-5 years (do you know how long that is!!!) and that they sleep for 12-18 hours a day anyway.
That all true though. It's a pain until they get their circadian rhythm, but most of the childhood isn't infancy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Do you think that you know what it's like to be a parent?
I don't think it is as hard as people make it out to be. Time consuming? Yes. Difficult? I'm not so sure.

The more difficult aspect would be making sure they are progressing as they should, learning what they should, engaging in activities they should, etc. This would be all the administrative decisions that there may not be a best answer to, but parents fret because they want to provide the best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
The biggest thing that most people don't seem to get that don't have kids is that you can't punch out at 5pm like you can with a job.

Child raising is a 24/7 job.
No it's not, you are on call 24/7, but they're asleep for 12+ of those hours and at school for 6-7 hours.
Then you have activities for them to do and places to take them to.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:14 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Meh - I think the things that she says about single fathers, divorced men, and older men are FAR more offensive! .
If those men would leave me alone then I wouldn't give them any thought. I'm not the only one who gets bothered by older men wanting younger women and think it's creepy.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:15 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,183 posts, read 39,738,202 times
Reputation: 41652
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
That all true though. It's a pain until they get their circadian rhythm, but most of the childhood isn't infancy.



I don't think it is as hard as people make it out to be. Time consuming? Yes. Difficult? I'm not so sure.

The more difficult aspect would be making sure they are progressing as they should, learning what they should, engaging in activities they should, etc. This would be all the administrative decisions that there may not be a best answer to, but parents fret because they want to provide the best.



No it's not, you are on call 24/7, but they're asleep for 12+ of those hours and at school for 6-7 hours.
Then you have activities for them to do and places to take them to.
Do yourself a favor and quit posting, you're embarrassing the hell out of yourself.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,903,945 times
Reputation: 22129
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
That all true though. It's a pain until they get their circadian rhythm, but most of the childhood isn't infancy.



I don't think it is as hard as people make it out to be. Time consuming? Yes. Difficult? I'm not so sure.

The more difficult aspect would be making sure they are progressing as they should, learning what they should, engaging in activities they should, etc. This would be all the administrative decisions that there may not be a best answer to, but parents fret because they want to provide the best.



No it's not, you are on call 24/7, but they're asleep for 12+ of those hours and at school for 6-7 hours.
Then you have activities for them to do and places to take them to.
So, basically you have no idea what it's like to be a parent. And that's fine - you don't have children. I do not expect people that don't have children to understand because I honestly think it's impossible to understand until you have children.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:21 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by lycos679 View Post
Feel free to correct me.
I have a cousin who is a SAHM and her day consists of this: her live in nanny gets her kids ready for school so poor her can get her sleep. She spends the day shopping and working out. She comes home and her housekeeper is cleaning the house and fixing dinner. The nanny goes to pick up the kids, her husband comes home (he's rich if you haven't figured but out) and they have dinner. I'd love someone to tell me shes not lazy or that the SAHM I mentioned aren't. Apparently the husband of my friend thought she was, especially since he came home to a messy house. My sister in law was lazy before they got married and had a baby to get an excuse.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,890 posts, read 5,194,739 times
Reputation: 14579
12+ hours of sleep is high-balling it once they're in school. Nine or ten hours is more realistic.
 
Old 03-19-2015, 05:24 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,183 posts, read 39,738,202 times
Reputation: 41652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I have a cousin who is a SAHM and her day consists of this: her live in nanny gets her kids ready for school so poor her can get her sleep. She spends the day shopping and working out. She comes home and her housekeeper is cleaning the house and fixing dinner. The nanny goes to pick up the kids, her husband comes home (he's rich if you haven't figured but out) and they have dinner. I'd love someone to tell me shes not lazy or that the SAHM I mentioned aren't. Apparently the husband of my friend thought she was, especially since he came home to a messy house. My sister in law was lazy before they got married and had a baby to get an excuse.
Yeah, use outlier situations and present them as normal.

Good job....

Most average everyday people don't have that kind of setup.
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