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View Poll Results: Mother/wife ambitions less attractive than hyper career ambitions?
Yes 24 29.63%
No 57 70.37%
Voters: 81. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-19-2015, 06:44 PM
Location: So Cal
40,273 posts, read 39,816,573 times
Reputation: 41745


Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Hopefully, you see the irony in this post.

The irony was sort of nullified by the disclaimer of me stating that "I've got enough sense to I understand that I don't know what it's like to raise children."

Yeah.... I thought of that when I posted what I posted.

Old 03-19-2015, 07:05 PM
3,262 posts, read 2,994,421 times
Reputation: 1893
Voted yes but it really depends on context.

In theory, if you are planning on having a large number of kids 3/4+ and make good money yourself, a housewife would improve your life the most. If either of those conditions do not hold, someone with a real career of their own would.

In practice, you fall for who you fall for and it's a moot point unless you're scanning through online dating profiles or desperately settling at ~40.
Old 03-19-2015, 07:08 PM
Location: Texas
43,465 posts, read 52,484,972 times
Reputation: 70547
I wouldn't be interested in anyone who would think it normal or right to farm out their child care to strangers.
Old 03-19-2015, 07:19 PM
Location: Louisville KY
4,262 posts, read 3,901,463 times
Reputation: 3481
Originally Posted by rumpa View Post
Because little kids don't deserve a parent in the home to lovingly raise them??

Eff kids.
No reason a parent needs to be there everyday until the kid starts preschool. There are daycares, and after school programs, 4C's. I've been through that crap, with my good for nothing ex- I think it's stupid for one parent to work, while the other sits at home, especially with the additional cost of a kid(s). Buying food, paying bills, car insurance, kids clothes, kids hygiene, rent/mortgage, and other misc bullspit, while the other parent watches talk shows, and plays patty-cake all damn day, got me twisted. And wanting me to give you money, hell naw, never again, never, ever. My ex had one(1) job the whole time we were together, snd it was before we had kids, and it was a swingshift at McDonalds, for three months. Five years. Five years she didn't work, leaving everything to me, without my parents help, wouldn't have made it as far as we did. I'm sure she is still a lazy non-working good for nothing, while her "man" does all the work. So it has nothing to do with the kids, as much as the me tal stability of the person who has to bare the workload, because their other wants to be lazy.
Old 03-19-2015, 07:31 PM
4,608 posts, read 3,776,715 times
Reputation: 4043
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I wouldn't be interested in anyone who would think it normal or right to farm out their child care to strangers.
Good thing that wasn't the automatic alternative to the point submitted by the OP.
Old 03-19-2015, 07:33 PM
Location: Louisville KY
4,262 posts, read 3,901,463 times
Reputation: 3481
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Not if they're infant-pre-K (the time when it is most important to many parents who choose to go the stay-home route to do so).

And, no, past pre-k, children are not, in fact, at school "all day," at least not the length of a parent's standard workday.

Yeah? You've run substantive research on this based on exhaustive data collection? Or is this a "My cousin's wife is soooo lazy..."-type anecdote?

Here's my anecdotal observation from my own life: My messiest house situations? Have always, without fail, been when I am working 50-70 hour work weeks and am simply never around to do much but grab a few hours of sleep, dirty a few dishes to quickly wolf down some food, and maybe do laundry once in a while. Am I to then extrapolate and argue that all women who work FT outside the home ALWAYS have a disastrous house, simply because that's when it's typically been hardest for me, personally, to keep up with housework? That doesn't seem like it would be a fair generalization. It seems like something that might just be specific to the individual, and not part of some greater "career women focus on their jobs at the expense of keeping up on their housekeeping" stereotype. Y'know?

And, truthfully, if I have an infant or toddler at home, my attention is going to be on the infant/toddler, not on sitting them in a bouncer, pack & play, carseat, or crib while I run dustbunny patrol, plan and shop for elaborate dinners, and scrub toilets. If I'm home with my kid, my focus is predominantly on my kid, and secondarily on chore completion. There's a reason that early childhood caregivers aren't splitting their time and attention between childcare and performing tasks relevant to custodial, meal prep, and maintenance work around the center.
Your generic work hours is about 9-4:30, school hours are about 7:40-3:00(2:20 for high school), so they are pretty close.
Old 03-19-2015, 07:52 PM
Location: Louisville KY
4,262 posts, read 3,901,463 times
Reputation: 3481
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I have friends that feel like they are better moms while working full time than staying at home all day with the children. I get that. I feel you can be a good parent whether you work or stay at home. What I don't understand are people that think LESS of someone because of their choice. I'm not saying that you are doing that - I don't feel that you are doing that. I think others are doing that. Which I just don't get.
I feel the way I do because, I was the one working, and when I wasn't working, when she enrolled herself in college, I stayed at home. Both sucked, even with my parents ten blocks away, and me having a suv, it sucked. The smiley, however was unintended, I hit it while typing, and it won't go away. Mods, make this pestulent smiley go away waves hand like an emperor
Old 03-19-2015, 08:23 PM
Location: Louisville KY
4,262 posts, read 3,901,463 times
Reputation: 3481
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I don't have kids either, but I got enough sense to know that I don't really understand what it's like to raise children...

Simple basic subject to grasp, yet here we are page after page after page rehashing the same old crapola......

People without children don't have a clue what is involved with child raising and to say otherwise is just foolish.........

We can guess, but it's like trying to explain how to ride a bicycle.....you don't get it til you've done it........
For some parents, it's like rebuilding an automatic transmission.
Old 03-19-2015, 08:44 PM
10,026 posts, read 9,214,697 times
Reputation: 5893
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
LOL.... reread what you wrote, you're making my point.....that shows that if raising kids were so easy it wouldn't be an issue to come home after work and tend to that stuff...

It shows how tough raising kids really is in that doing both can be extremely tough...
She was talking about SAHM and how it was harder to work than it was to be a SAHM. I never said raising kids was easy, I said most who stay home when the kids are in school are lazy.
Old 03-19-2015, 09:42 PM
5,609 posts, read 8,529,435 times
Reputation: 7689
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Get this my parents asked my SIL what she does all day and she said when my niece comes home she takes her for a walk. Yes that is really difficult.

Granted I live by myself but wash dishes in the dishwasher once a week or so and laundry about twice a week. I vacuum every couple days but I'm obsessed with this. Most cleaning duties I get done in a few hours when I do a lot, usually on Saturday morning.
In all fairness it's MUCH MORE 'mess' (dishes, laundry etc) once kids come along. (again, i don't have kids, but I have taken my godchildren for extended periods)
-I should note: the husband worked a full time job and played "mr mom" while she went back to school....
He agrees with me it's really not that hard.
Then we got MANY laughs When she started working and we had to hear how "hard a real job was" she didn't knw how easy she had it as a SAHM. (about a year later she went off her birth control and didn't tell him.... With predictable results.)

However, as was said, if you have a dishwasher and washer/dryer it's really just a couple minutes per task.
People today don't understand how much REAL WORK housekeeping was 100 years ago!!!!
Modern inventions have done MUCH to free women from housework.

As for the stay at home moms trumpeting about how hard it is (I know better if one works at a pace you need to to keep a job it's a couple hours (max) a day.... And again babies excluded)
I have a absolute proof it's not true:
Single Moms.

Somehow they manage to do everything they need done at home AND hold down a job.... Alone.
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