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I really don't know how to feel about this situation...
A guy that's contracted through another company that works at my job has been interested in me for quite sometime and the interest has been mutual accept that he can't date anyone from the places he works. So nothing between us has transpired outside of work but it's pretty apparent when we work together that something is there and a lot of women are jealous that he's interested in me. However I've become real concern with his thought process pertaining to our situation.
The first incident he was at a party that a guy from his company threw and I called him and some how his boss was at the party and saw that I called him and she sent a text from his phone stating to stop calling him. She's a lesbian so I know she didn't send the text because she wants him so that only leaves him saying something that would prompt her to feel it's necessary to do that. I go to work the next day and he's practically following me around like a puppy because he knows I'm pissed about what happened. After a few days I let it go and started back being nice to him and we started back acting normal with each other.
Everything was good for awhile but then co-workers started asking if anything was going on between us and he denied it and so did I, however when you see us interact with each other it's clear that something is there between us. So a few of my co-workers became jealous and purposely started flirting with him and doing all kinds of things to try to get me upset, etc. He always controlled those situation and handled it so I never needed to address it with him.
Since all that didn't work and things continued to be good between he and I, they then went to drastic measures and told him I was showing X-rated pics of him. He then went to HR to report the incident but he did not say anything to me about it. I had no clue that was going on and he didn't start acting different toward me, so there was no indication from him that there was a problem. I get a call to come meet with HR and that's when I'm told what's going on and how he now feels uncomfortable. I told HR I did not show anyone pics of him and that I don't even have any pics of him period and now they are investigating the matter.
Although I understand him feeling the need to go to HR because now it is a serious matter, it just feels like he's throwing me under the bus again. The first time why couldn't he have told his boss we were friends instead of giving the appearance that I'm bugging him and won't leave him alone when he knows it's him who has and continues to chase me. Now my job is on the line and although he doesn't know for sure if I did what I'm accused of or not, why didn't he come to me and ask me about it? He still could have reported it to HR but he could have let it be known that he doesn't think I did it but due to the nature of the situation, he feels he needs to report it.
I'm not upset about him reporting the incident because I think it's the right thing to do on his part, my issue is that for him to be interested in and want a relationship why isn't that he never seems to have my back when it counts? Once all of this blows over I know he's still going to want to have a relationship with me but do I want to be with someone who will leave me to fight battles alone? Then I think about if I do have nothing more to do with him, I'll be giving those heffas exactly what they want because their main goal for this is to come between him and I. So I really don't want to end things and give them that satisfaction but at the same time, I'm really not okay with how he's handled things pertaining to us.
Since all that didn't work and things continued to be good between he and I, they then went to drastic measures and told him I was showing X-rated pics of him. He then went to HR to report the incident but he did not say anything to me about it. I had no clue that was going on and he didn't start acting different toward me, so there was no indication from him that there was a problem. I get a call to come meet with HR and that's when I'm told what's going on and how he now feels uncomfortable. I told HR I did not show anyone pics of him and that I don't even have any pics of him period and now they are investigating the matter.
Although I understand him feeling the need to go to HR because now it is a serious matter, it just feels like he's throwing me under the bus again. The first time why couldn't he have told his boss we were friends instead of giving the appearance that I'm bugging him and won't leave him alone when he knows it's him who has and continues to chase me. Now my job is on the line and although he doesn't know for sure if I did what I'm accused of or not, why didn't he come to me and ask me about it? He still could have reported it to HR but he could have let it be known that he doesn't think I did it but due to the nature of the situation, he feels he needs to report it.
I'm not upset about him reporting the incident because I think it's the right thing to do on his part, my issue is that for him to be interested in and want a relationship why isn't that he never seems to have my back when it counts? Once all of this blows over I know he's still going to want to have a relationship with me but do I want to be with someone who will leave me to fight battles alone? Then I think about if I do have nothing more to do with him, I'll be giving those heffas exactly what they want because their main goal for this is to come between him and I. So I really don't want to end things and give them that satisfaction but at the same time, I'm really not okay with how he's handled things pertaining to us.
This is weird. He went to HR to report what, hearsay? When I first read this, I thought he went to HR to report that others were spreading malicious gossip about you and him, not that you were actually showing X-rated pix of him. That doesn't even make sense, because he would know that you wouldn't have any pix of him, let alone X-rated ones. Are you sure it wasn't your co-workers' behavior that he reported? What your co-workers are doing is a) harassment, and b) slander of you. You could sue them. Did you tell HR it was slander? You could file a counter-complaint against the co-workers.
Why don't you two just cool the way you interact at work? Is that so hard? How much longer will he be working there? Just before he leaves, you can give him your number, and continue from there.
I really don't know how to feel about this situation...
A guy that's contracted through another company that works at my job has been interested in me for quite sometime and the interest has been mutual accept that he can't date anyone from the places he works. So nothing between us has transpired outside of work but it's pretty apparent when we work together that something is there and a lot of women are jealous that he's interested in me. However I've become real concern with his thought process pertaining to our situation.
The first incident he was at a party that a guy from his company threw and I called him and some how his boss was at the party and saw that I called him and she sent a text from his phone stating to stop calling him. She's a lesbian so I know she didn't send the text because she wants him so that only leaves him saying something that would prompt her to feel it's necessary to do that. I go to work the next day and he's practically following me around like a puppy because he knows I'm pissed about what happened. After a few days I let it go and started back being nice to him and we started back acting normal with each other.
Everything was good for awhile but then co-workers started asking if anything was going on between us and he denied it and so did I, however when you see us interact with each other it's clear that something is there between us. So a few of my co-workers became jealous and purposely started flirting with him and doing all kinds of things to try to get me upset, etc. He always controlled those situation and handled it so I never needed to address it with him.
Since all that didn't work and things continued to be good between he and I, they then went to drastic measures and told him I was showing X-rated pics of him. He then went to HR to report the incident but he did not say anything to me about it. I had no clue that was going on and he didn't start acting different toward me, so there was no indication from him that there was a problem. I get a call to come meet with HR and that's when I'm told what's going on and how he now feels uncomfortable. I told HR I did not show anyone pics of him and that I don't even have any pics of him period and now they are investigating the matter.
Although I understand him feeling the need to go to HR because now it is a serious matter, it just feels like he's throwing me under the bus again. The first time why couldn't he have told his boss we were friends instead of giving the appearance that I'm bugging him and won't leave him alone when he knows it's him who has and continues to chase me. Now my job is on the line and although he doesn't know for sure if I did what I'm accused of or not, why didn't he come to me and ask me about it? He still could have reported it to HR but he could have let it be known that he doesn't think I did it but due to the nature of the situation, he feels he needs to report it.
I'm not upset about him reporting the incident because I think it's the right thing to do on his part, my issue is that for him to be interested in and want a relationship why isn't that he never seems to have my back when it counts? Once all of this blows over I know he's still going to want to have a relationship with me but do I want to be with someone who will leave me to fight battles alone? Then I think about if I do have nothing more to do with him, I'll be giving those heffas exactly what they want because their main goal for this is to come between him and I. So I really don't want to end things and give them that satisfaction but at the same time, I'm really not okay with how he's handled things pertaining to us.
Unless you work with a herd of female cattle which are referred to as hefers no one will take you seriously using a deragatory phrase when referring to them. That is quite childish and shows one's level of immaturity.
After that, if nothing is going on between you as you both say and you do not have photos of him as you say; would he not know that you do not have photos of him, especially nude photos of him to pass around?
If in theory he does know this for a fact why in the world would he go to HR and report this incident about you having the photos?
Why did he not report the women who are so jealous of you and the relationship they think you have with this man?
PS ~~ It is impossible to "end" something that has not been "started" so you either have a relationship with him outside of office hours you are trying to hide or you do not, which is the truth?
Why would he report the incident? That makes no sense. If the other coworkers said you were sending x rated pics all he would have to do is say you weren't and end of issue...
PS ~~ It is impossible to "end" something that has not been "started" so you either have a relationship with him outside of office hours you are trying to hide or you do not, which is the truth?
Good point. There's nothing to end. Just stop the office flirtation, if there is one, and do the mature thing, both of you; mind your P's and Q's. Act indifferent to each other.
This is weird. He went to HR to report what, hearsay? When I first read this, I thought he went to HR to report that others were spreading malicious gossip about you and him, not that you were actually showing X-rated pix of him. That doesn't even make sense, because he would know that you wouldn't have any pix of him, let alone X-rated ones. Are you sure it wasn't your co-workers' behavior that he reported? What your co-workers are doing is a) harassment, and b) slander of you. You could sue them. Did you tell HR it was slander? You could file a counter-complaint against the co-workers.
Why don't you two just cool the way you interact at work? Is that so hard? How much longer will he be working there? Just before he leaves, you can give him your number, and continue from there.
HR didn't tell me exactly what he reported so he could have very well reported the gossip but the HR asked me about pics, so I assumed that's what he went to HR about but the way you put it that wouldn't make sense so your view is probably right. I figured the pic situation made things more serious and that's what he would report on and not the gossip but he knows no pics exist, so yeah that can't be what his complaint is.
Yes I know the co-workers are slandering me but at this time I don't know exactly who's all involved but once I find out, then I will be taking action against them.
If he only reported those stupid accusations (which would make sense), that would explain why he didn't mention it to you; he figured it was between him and those women. Also, what they did constitutes harassment of him, which is definitely reportable. Pretty outrageous; they have a lot of nerve. Sounds like you're surrounded by low-lifes. I mean, really, who does that? Who goes up to an outside consultant and says a co-worker is spreading X-rated photos of him? That's not normal behavior. It's crazy. What a weird workplace.
Anyway, you two should tone down the flirting, just to keep the peace, and throw the gossipers off track. Be professional.
OP quoted...."nothing between us has transpired outside of work "
So there have been enough interactions at work for the two of you to cause all of this commotion? Talking, flirting, other workers jealous and flirting with him????
First of all, if I worked for that HR department, a lot of people would be getting fired. It sounds like someone is getting treated unfairly in this situation, however it is not you or him as much as it is the company you are supposed to be using your time there to "work" and not flirt and spend company time trying to "chit chat" and find out who is interested in anything other than getting the job which all of you are getting paid to do.
This is a big problem and a big reason why there is a No Dating Co-Workers policy. Doing so eats into company time and profits.
I have no real "help" for you other than to advise you that if you are looking for dates and romance, go to a dating site or somewhere else. There are too many people who are out of work and would be more than eager and willing to actually do the work they are hired to do instead of get involved in such petty and senseless high school stuff like you described.
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