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OLD is just terrible in general for a man. Sites like Plenty of Fish have really low quality women and then there is less of them anyway. So a woman that is a 5 thinks she deserves an 8 just because she sees so many available men. The unrealistic expectations are off the chart. I'm an in shape guy that would like a woman that is in shape and wants to stay in shape together. I'm not getting why it's so hard to find and it's not an unrealistic expectation. I would be better off just hitting on women at the gym.
Isn't Tinder just an app to tell somebody, "Saw your pic. You're hot!" and hope that person responds, "Great! I think you're hot too"? It's pictures. Hot or Not for the new millennium. Not where I would look if my priority was a long-term relationship. How does Tinder look like anything BUT a hookup site?
I don't see how it's any different than meeting somebody while you're out and striking up a conversation that leads to dating and then a relationship. You see the person, then you talk, then you date. People that you meet in real life don't have long, boring profiles attached to them.
OLD is just terrible in general for a man. Sites like Plenty of Fish have really low quality women and then there is less of them anyway. So a woman that is a 5 thinks she deserves an 8 just because she sees so many available men. The unrealistic expectations are off the chart. I'm an in shape guy that would like a woman that is in shape and wants to stay in shape together. I'm not getting why it's so hard to find and it's not an unrealistic expectation. I would be better off just hitting on women at the gym.
I'll offer my opinion on why this is such. I've met countless really good women online, but it still doesn't change the fact that the two of us weren't right together. What also stands true is the woman who can take care of herself is going to be picky. Just like the man who can take care of himself is going to be picky as well. That's why POF generally has low quality women. It's women who typically can't take care of themselves. I'm friends with a couple of women that I've met from POF and they're the type of women that will have 4-5 short term relationships in any given year. They'll reflect inwardly for about a week, via Facebook to gather the troops with their other female friends who suck at dating, and then the cycle will continue afterwards.
Deal is, those types of quality men and women truly don't want to change. They're older and they like who they are, so why change their core for a guy that's probably not worth their time anyways. Ultimately, these women end up bending over backwards for 2nd and 3rd tier men, and the men know it as well. They can look in the mirror and see that they are probably on the loser side of the equation as well.
It's a sad cycle, but a woman with man problems can't just wake up and get it all right one day. She has to work on herself for quite some time to get to that point. What I've found out since entering my 30s, 30 plus year old women don't have the time to figure it out. Their friends are settling down and they want to settle down with a good man too. Problem is, their own life isn't settled, so they attract men that are just as self destructive as they are. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I tried OLD because I was working all the time and was not into going out "looking" for a date after my divorce. I had mixed results. I tried POF and Match. POF produced the poorest results and the women there seemed to be more desperate and the pictures were REALLY out of date. Match on the other hand in my case produced better quality dates, but the pictures were still for the most part out of date.
I remember when I changed my profile to read - please have a current picture on your profile, and current in my book means within a year, it cut my responses greatly. I met some gals who I didn't even recognize cause the online pic was so old, and some that looked like their pic. I went out with a college professor, doctor (yes I was surprised) and some regular gals.
I did not meet anyone I felt was compatible and after six months or so gave up on it for various reasons. OLD in my opinion is an ok way to hookup and maybe if you got lucky you may find someone, but I think there are a lot of "professional daters" out there just looking for dinner and a movie, and a lot of kooks. I had two gals actually tell me they loved OLD because they got to go out for so many good meals and so many different places. *sigh*
I met my current love interest on Tinder. My expectations were pretty low which helped. I think some people think they'll sign up for a dating website or a dating app and poof - the love of their life will magically appear. Yes, it's easier for people to flake when you meet them online, but that's just part of it. It takes a thick skin to online date and not take the flaking or rejection personally and believe it or not, as a woman I've been flaked on and rejected too. That isn't exclusive to guys.
There are a lot of things that suck about modern dating, but was it really so much easier 20 years ago? I don't know. I think sometimes people have TOO many choices that they pass over really great people always looking for some perfect person who doesn't actually exist. On the other hand, my current guy is the most wonderful person I've ever dated and if it wasn't for the internet we would never have met. Online dating has put me into contact with a lot of interesting people I would never have met otherwise.
I'll offer my opinion on why this is such. I've met countless really good women online, but it still doesn't change the fact that the two of us weren't right together. What also stands true is the woman who can take care of herself is going to be picky. Just like the man who can take care of himself is going to be picky as well. That's why POF generally has low quality women. It's women who typically can't take care of themselves. I'm friends with a couple of women that I've met from POF and they're the type of women that will have 4-5 short term relationships in any given year. They'll reflect inwardly for about a week, via Facebook to gather the troops with their other female friends who suck at dating, and then the cycle will continue afterwards.
Deal is, those types of quality men and women truly don't want to change. They're older and they like who they are, so why change their core for a guy that's probably not worth their time anyways. Ultimately, these women end up bending over backwards for 2nd and 3rd tier men, and the men know it as well. They can look in the mirror and see that they are probably on the loser side of the equation as well.
It's a sad cycle, but a woman with man problems can't just wake up and get it all right one day. She has to work on herself for quite some time to get to that point. What I've found out since entering my 30s, 30 plus year old women don't have the time to figure it out. Their friends are settling down and they want to settle down with a good man too. Problem is, their own life isn't settled, so they attract men that are just as self destructive as they are. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Yeah I think that's a decent analysis but also there is another problem a lot of these people will say they want a relationship, when really they don't. They're just serial daters but on their profile they make it sound like they're looking for something long term. This isn't always intentional necessarily, they just don't yet understand themselves and haven't figured themselves out yet, even if they are in their 30's. They think their dating life has to resemble a romantic comedy even when deep down inside it's not really what they want.
I could write a book on OLD and most of it wouldn't be good opinions on it. I used it for years before my last relationship, which incidentally, was with a woman I met in real life. I've probably been on at least 10 different ones through the years. So now that I'm single again for some reason I still give OLD a chance, and the frustrations with it are returning very quickly.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
I could write a book on OLD and most of it wouldn't be good opinions on it. I used it for years before my last relationship, which incidentally, was with a woman I met in real life. I've probably been on at least 10 different ones through the years. So now that I'm single again for some reason I still give OLD a chance, and the frustrations with it are returning very quickly.
I've had, what I consider, success with OLD. But, one thing I think it critical: don't stay on it. Turn on a profile, update it, do it for 4-8 weeks, and no matter what the results are get off again. It can take a lot of time and it can make someone jaded if things are moving the way you hope. People can lose themselves in it.
Yeah I think that's a decent analysis but also there is another problem a lot of these people will say they want a relationship, when really they don't. They're just serial daters but on their profile they make it sound like they're looking for something long term. This isn't always intentional necessarily, they just don't yet understand themselves and haven't figured themselves out yet, even if they are in their 30's. They think their dating life has to resemble a romantic comedy even when deep down inside it's not really what they want.
I could write a book on OLD and most of it wouldn't be good opinions on it. I used it for years before my last relationship, which incidentally, was with a woman I met in real life. I've probably been on at least 10 different ones through the years. So now that I'm single again for some reason I still give OLD a chance, and the frustrations with it are returning very quickly.
This is true. I have a friend here in Philly that I met through OLD. I was only on for about three weeks when I first moved here. He said he wanted a long term relationship, which I didn't at the time, but it worked out anyway because we weren't a romantic match at all. Since me he has been through about 6 or 7 women on OLD and I'm not sure how many on real life. His longest seemed to last about six weeks. When I asked him why he can't make it stick, he admitted that he was scared of commitment. Some people think it's what they want until it is staring them in the face.
The OP has explained why Tinder hasn't worked for him. He hasn't explained how it's ruined dating across the board. There's all the non-Tinder-related dating that goes on; Tinder is a very small percentage of overall dating activity. So how has Tinder ruined dating? It hasn't. If you don't like Tinder, don't use it. Simple.
I'm just amazed that the OP didn't already know Tinder was a "hook up" app. Isn't that common knowledge? If you're going to start yet another "online dating is awful" thread, start with Match, OKCupid, or eHarmony.
This is true. I have a friend here in Philly that I met through OLD. I was only on for about three weeks when I first moved here. He said he wanted a long term relationship, which I didn't at the time, but it worked out anyway because we weren't a romantic match at all. Since me he has been through about 6 or 7 women on OLD and I'm not sure how many on real life. His longest seemed to last about six weeks. When I asked him why he can't make it stick, he admitted that he was scared of commitment. Some people think it's what they want until it is staring them in the face.
I encountered this so many times when I did Match. I would meet someone and we would hit it off for about a month, but as soon as things started to progress towards the next level they would back off afraid. It's frustrating. But could easily happen with someone I met in real life as well I suppose.
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