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In case anyone is interested, both guys are out. I decided to send 3rd date guy a friendly text this morning to see how his weekend was. He had old friends in town for the weekend. No response. So, I guess it's safe to say he's not interested. I'm still baffled by how things go from being awesome to being over in a few days. All these years of dating and I still have no idea how that happens.
Recycled guy also backed out on me today. That's less surprising. It's probably also a blessing in disguise.
Thanks for all the advice! Back to square one. Probably backing off the dating rollercoaster for awhile. I've taken an emotional beating the past week or so.
Thanks for the update. Dating is mystifying. You never know if it has anything to do with you, or not. But I wouldn't consider this an "emotional beating," unless you're referring to something else.
You could just adopt Miranda Hobbs' attitude on guys you had the great second date wih who don't call: "I pretend they died."
Thanks for the update. Dating is mystifying. You never know if it has anything to do with you, or not. But I wouldn't consider this an "emotional beating," unless you're referring to something else.
You could just adopt Miranda Hobbs' attitude on guys you had the great second date wih who don't call: "I pretend they died."
There was a very emotional past with recycled guy, so to have him return and disappear again was really hard. Add that to being rejected by a guy I thought had real potential and the return of another ex (who I didn't mention), who caused a lot of pain, it's been rough lately. So, between getting attached too easily and being a highly sensitive person, I'm probably a little too in touch with my emotions. There have just been too many disappointments the past few years, so these two don't help matters, especially when I go to work and have to listen to all my coworkers talk about wedding plans, baby plans, and their spouses. I get tired of being the only adult without these things because they often treat me like I'm not really an adult as a result.
Funny you mention the Miranda Hobbs comment because that was something I told myself!
If "recycled guy" creates that much turmoil, don't let him come back around. Ignore future contact.
As for "3rd date guy," if he truly has "ghosted" (as the kids say these days) then you're better off without him. It's an inconsiderate thing to do. Don't take it as a rejection per se, since you never know what's going on in his world. Just pretend he died!
And don't forget, in another episode, Miranda thought her date stood her up but he actually did die!
Thank you, CapsChick! I highly doubt Recycled guy will ever return. I wanted him to return for over a year, but now I know we definitely don't belong together.
I know 3rd date guy is overwhelmed with work and financial issues right now, so I wonder if that's part of it. Still, I think that's a crappy thing to do. I doubt he died. Time will tell. He lives in my neighborhood, so I'll eventually run into him.
If you want to go out with a guy for the weekend how do you contact them? There will be times where sending signals/clues/hints won’t work and maybe you have to be more direct asking a guy out. Like Bearsdad said, something direct like that “Hey! Had a great time. Drinks and chicken wings are on me. Let’s do it again tomorrow!” or something.
In case anyone is interested, both guys are out. I decided to send 3rd date guy a friendly text this morning to see how his weekend was. He had old friends in town for the weekend. No response. So, I guess it's safe to say he's not interested. I'm still baffled by how things go from being awesome to being over in a few days. All these years of dating and I still have no idea how that happens.
Recycled guy also backed out on me today. That's less surprising. It's probably also a blessing in disguise.
Thanks for all the advice! Back to square one. Probably backing off the dating rollercoaster for awhile. I've taken an emotional beating the past week or so.
Good thing you didn't get with the fedex/recycle guy, I doubt he's a different guy from before (like you would like to believe) and more likely to just looking to drop off his package as someone else had mentioned.
It does suck going from awesome to being over in a few days, I would like to know how that happens too. But hey, square one isn't so bad. At least all those guys are dead so there's no point in thinking about them
If you want to go out with a guy for the weekend how do you contact them? There will be times where sending signals/clues/hints won’t work and maybe you have to be more direct asking a guy out. Like Bearsdad said, something direct like that “Hey! Had a great time. Drinks and chicken wings are on me. Let’s do it again tomorrow!” or something.
I actually did that last weekend with 3rd date guy. We had texted a little during the week, and on our Sunday date he had asked me during our date and afterwards if I'd go running with him during the week. I told him it would likely have to wait until the weekend because my work week was too crazy. He understood and said it was fine. His work week ended up being worse than mine. Anyway, the following Friday I texted to say I wasn't working that weekend and to let me know if he wanted to get together. An hour later he texted me to invite me out with his coworker. The next day he disappeared.
He brought up financial concerns several times, so I wonder if that has a major influence on this situation. Or maybe he just lost interest. I have no idea. Like I said, I have no idea how one goes from really liking me one day to having zero interest a few days later.
But I like CapsChick's advice of not taking it as rejection because I don't know what he has going on in his life. Actually, I know he has a lot going on in his life right now. I just don't know if that's reason enough to stop seeing someone you like, or if he truly lost interest. Either way, I don't like the ghosting, as it's apparently called. I think it's ignorant and rude.
As for Fedex/recycled guy just wanting to drop his package, that may have been very true. I don't think it was entirely the truth, but I'm sure it was a huge part of his return. He's just too emotionally troubled to engage with. Other than running into him on the street sometime, I won't have further contact with him. He's too much.
Thanks again for you all your responses. I really, really appreciate them!
I actually did that last weekend with 3rd date guy. We had texted a little during the week, and on our Sunday date he had asked me during our date and afterwards if I'd go running with him during the week. I told him it would likely have to wait until the weekend because my work week was too crazy. He understood and said it was fine. His work week ended up being worse than mine. Anyway, the following Friday I texted to say I wasn't working that weekend and to let me know if he wanted to get together. An hour later he texted me to invite me out with his coworker. The next day he disappeared.
He brought up financial concerns several times, so I wonder if that has a major influence on this situation. Or maybe he just lost interest. I have no idea. Like I said, I have no idea how one goes from really liking me one day to having zero interest a few days later.
But I like CapsChick's advice of not taking it as rejection because I don't know what he has going on in his life. Actually, I know he has a lot going on in his life right now. I just don't know if that's reason enough to stop seeing someone you like, or if he truly lost interest. Either way, I don't like the ghosting, as it's apparently called. I think it's ignorant and rude.
As for Fedex/recycled guy just wanting to drop his package, that may have been very true. I don't think it was entirely the truth, but I'm sure it was a huge part of his return. He's just too emotionally troubled to engage with. Other than running into him on the street sometime, I won't have further contact with him. He's too much.
Thanks again for you all your responses. I really, really appreciate them!
Good for realizing the recycled guy is probably going to be more trouble than he's worth. And if this is the same guy who was dating you behind his girlfriend's back, then really good for not going further. He just seems like he has issues he needs to work with.
He brought up financial concerns several times, so I wonder if that has a major influence on this situation. Or maybe he just lost interest. I have no idea. Like I said, I have no idea how one goes from really liking me one day to having zero interest a few days later
Guys may feel bad to go out without money as we are expected to be the ones who take care of the expenses so if he said he had financial concerns maybe you could have offered “Hey! Don’t worry, I got you covered. Come on, let’s go!” we just don’t know if he would accept or feel bad about it and decline.
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But I like CapsChick's advice of not taking it as rejection because I don't know what he has going on in his life
He sounded like he was going through some challenges so hopefully he’s fine in the end and you two can be back in touch.
Don’t let this put you down. It is Friday! Enjoy!
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