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Old 03-17-2015, 11:10 PM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,584 posts, read 2,282,172 times
Reputation: 4360

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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodgirlgod View Post
Long story short. Been with boyfriend for 5 months. Waited to do the deed. When it finally happened in December, it was awkward, terrible and over very quickly. I put it down to first time nerves as he is quite a shy guy, except every time since then the sex has got shorter and shorter - the last time it was over in less than 2 minutes flat. I am getting more and more frustrated because he doesn't really do foreplay and when he does its not very good. He expects Mod cut..

I've tried to talk to him about this in a very gentle way because I know it is a sore point for most men. Mod cut. He said its my responsibility whether I get anything out of sex (though I think this was just him being defensive). Its a weird situation because to me he feels very inexperienced but he was in a relationship with someone for 3 years before he met me.

I really like him aside from this but the sex situation is really getting me down.

Mod comment 03/17/15: This thread has been cleaned up. People, please remember to keep it PG-13. The topic can easily be discussed without using graphic language.

Carry on.
Tell him. How is he supposed to know or correct his lack of bedroom skills if he is unaware? I learned some invaluable oral skills by watching a certain instructional video with Sunny Lane & Nina Hartley. It has proven to have been a godsend in that department. I dunno what to say about the duration issues. Perhaps it's just the way he's wired. If that is the case, there is nothing he or you can do about it.

 
Old 03-18-2015, 01:19 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,460,613 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodgirlgod View Post
This is what I'm really worried about, is he being like this because he doesn't like me? What do others think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33 View Post
Oh honey, please don't let a selfish lover do a number on your self esteem. YOU are not the problem here - he is. Dump his azz.
Really. Most of the first three pages of the thread all told you that he's a selfish jerk. Why on earth would you even want someone like that to like you? You haven't been together that long. Get rid of him.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 01:21 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,460,613 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Creature of the Wheel View Post
I dunno what to say about the duration issues. Perhaps it's just the way he's wired. If that is the case, there is nothing he or you can do about it.
Actually, there is a lot a couple in a loving relationship can do about it together (this isn't a loving relationship) and there is a lot he can do about it on his own. He's just too selfish and lazy to learn and try.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 02:39 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,489 posts, read 8,693,750 times
Reputation: 12142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
To sum up the last several posts:

There's a difference between cluelessly terrible in bed, and willfully terrible. The former is usually willing to learn, the latter isn't. The latter is a huge red flag. It really says something about his character.
I couldn't agree more. A man who refuses to learn is not a good a choice for a partnership.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 07:12 AM
 
1,178 posts, read 956,772 times
Reputation: 2209
You probably have received this suggestion...I didn't read through all the pages of comments. Anyway, here goes....
Since your posting was edited (and I really appreciate the moderator doing that because I really don't want to read explicit details of someone's sexual acts...) I am having to read between the lines/no lines....and I am going to guess that your bf expects you to do things in bed which are not comfortable to you.
You have the right to only do things which you want and enjoy doing in bed. No one should ever force you to do something you don't want to do, or make you feel guilty for not doing what they expect you to do.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 07:35 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,195,563 times
Reputation: 42502
Rose, he expects a certain act but doesn't reciprocate. That's what came after the "he expects" snip.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 08:03 AM
 
20,296 posts, read 16,464,754 times
Reputation: 38102
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34 View Post
Makes sense to me. Saying someone is good or bad in bed is highly subjective, yet so many act as if there is some universal standard by which to gauge sexual competency in bed.
No foreplay period, beginning to end 2 minutes flat, she asks for more and he says no, your climax is your responsibility not mine....sorry, but that's bad in bed by any standard.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 11:48 AM
 
1,882 posts, read 1,424,938 times
Reputation: 2732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actually, there is a lot a couple in a loving relationship can do about it together (this isn't a loving relationship) and there is a lot he can do about it on his own. He's just too selfish and lazy to learn and try.
And you know the guy personally so you feel comfortable passing judgment on him and labeling him a selfish jerk!? Maybe he is, but nobody here knows him except for the OP, so how can you accurately make sweeping judgments about the guy? Maybe he is a selfish lover but an all-around great guy in total. We don't know him.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 12:14 PM
 
15 posts, read 24,654 times
Reputation: 52
To be honest, most women are hypocrites in this aspect. Women think they're all good in bed because 99 times out of 100 a man will ***. So that's why women talk about guys being s**t in bed and you have all these things on Facebook with girls talking about faking it, and laughing about how s**t "most men" are in bed as if them having bad sex is something that is funny. However, the reality is that most women are terrible in bed, they're so used to the fact that a guy will *** that they think that means they're good, but as I always say...a guy could *** f**king a folded over pillow, it wouldn't mean the pillow was good in bed.
 
Old 03-18-2015, 12:58 PM
 
914 posts, read 585,874 times
Reputation: 1439
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodgirlgod View Post
Long story short. Been with boyfriend for 5 months. Waited to do the deed. When it finally happened in December, it was awkward, terrible and over very quickly. I put it down to first time nerves as he is quite a shy guy, except every time since then the sex has got shorter and shorter - the last time it was over in less than 2 minutes flat. I am getting more and more frustrated because he doesn't really do foreplay and when he does its not very good. He expects Mod cut..

I've tried to talk to him about this in a very gentle way because I know it is a sore point for most men. Mod cut. He said its my responsibility whether I get anything out of sex (though I think this was just him being defensive). Its a weird situation because to me he feels very inexperienced but he was in a relationship with someone for 3 years before he met me.

I really like him aside from this but the sex situation is really getting me down.

Mod comment 03/17/15: This thread has been cleaned up. People, please remember to keep it PG-13. The topic can easily be discussed without using graphic language.

Carry on.
Op, IF this is a legitimate post and you are having intimacy issues with a crappy lover, then end it!

But IF this is just another fly-by-night 3 post minimum user, whose true intention is simply to post an anonymous complaint in order to create yet another conflict in which many posters will pick sides based on gender and their own personal experiences, all the while you are sitting back and grinning at the flame war you created and the advertisements C-D continues to sell by each click of the page. If this is your goal nice job, I hope you enjoy it, and please do chime in with a new detail every now and then to keep it going!
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