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Old 03-18-2015, 05:55 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,204,400 times
Reputation: 42502

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Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
I just don't see the point in a friends with benefits type of relationship. I see true love, meaning, and value created only in traditional relationships.

Thoughts?
The "benefit" in "friends with benefits" is having someone trusted and safe to have sex with when the mood arises. Former love interests like in post above mine can be great FWBs. Maybe you both decide you're not right for one another (habits, priorities, lifestyle, whatever), but you still like the other person and you have great sexual chemistry. No starting over with a new guy and trying to figure out what he likes and how to please him. No trying to show him how to please you. He's already seen you naked.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:49 AM
 
165 posts, read 112,709 times
Reputation: 62
I understand. It just sounds like an easy way out of getting to know someone. You don't want to have to "deal with it." An easy way out of having to deal with reality. Like, you are having sex with another individual. People are complicated. Sex is complicated.

I'm not about it. Never again for me. Cheers to all the people who look for this.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:52 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,204,400 times
Reputation: 42502
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
I understand. It just sounds like an easy way out of getting to know someone. You don't want to have to "deal with it." An easy way out of having to deal with reality. Like, you are having sex with another individual. People are complicated. Sex is complicated.

I'm not about it. Cheers to all the people who look for this.
Sure, if you're not really friends, then that's not FWB. A lot of the time, you do already know the person. Nonameguy described a relationship he's had for 15 years. He knows her.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:54 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,992,571 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
I understand. It just sounds like an easy way out of getting to know someone. You don't want to have to "deal with it." An easy way out of having to deal with reality. Like, you are having sex with another individual. People are complicated. Sex is complicated.

I'm not about it. Never again for me. Cheers to all the people who look for this.

You've had sex a grand total of once and you have all this insight on sex and relationships?

Thanks for your vast wisdom on this.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:57 AM
 
165 posts, read 112,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Sure, if you're not really friends, then that's not FWB. A lot of the time, you do already know the person. Nonameguy described a relationship he's had for 15 years. He knows her.
True. I mean people who seek out FWB relationships, they are strangers with the person they want to do it with in the beginning. And then what happened to me, he decides after sleeping with me, I'm too emotional. So I got ****ed over twice. It was ironically more messy than I think he intended. I guess cause I'm not meant for casual sex.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:58 AM
 
165 posts, read 112,709 times
Reputation: 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
You've had sex a grand total of once and you have all this insight on sex and relationships?

Thanks for your vast wisdom on this.
Lolz. Doesn't take a lot of sex to understand it messes with you emotionally. At least for me.
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Old 03-18-2015, 06:59 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,992,571 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
True. I mean people who seek out FWB relationships, they are strangers with the person they want to do it with in the beginning. And then what happened to me, he decides after sleeping with me, I'm too emotional. So I got ****ed over twice. It was ironically more messy than I think he intended. I guess cause I'm not meant for casual sex.

That's not a FWB and this is apparently not sinking into your head.
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:05 AM
 
165 posts, read 112,709 times
Reputation: 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
That's not a FWB and this is apparently not sinking into your head.
Oh. Well then I'm confused. So you have to be friends with the person first? I feel like that would make it really difficult to find a willing participant in this. Like for my texas friend, he solely seeks out people for this kind of relationship.

I don't get it
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,890 posts, read 5,198,534 times
Reputation: 14579
The operative word is FRIENDS with benefits, which generally involves platonic friends who have sex. For example, in my age group (late 30s) it's not unusual, as there are a fair amount of people who are newly divorced and aren't ready to get seriously involved with anyone yet, but still want to have regular sex with someone they trust. When you've been sexually active for your entire adult life, it's normal to want to continue to have that physical contact with another human being, and it can be emotionally healing when you're coming out of bad LTR.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
Oh. Well then I'm confused. So you have to be friends with the person first? I feel like that would make it really difficult to find a willing participant in this. Like for my texas friend, he solely seeks out people for this kind of relationship.

I don't get it
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:31 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,204,400 times
Reputation: 42502
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
Oh. Well then I'm confused. So you have to be friends with the person first? I feel like that would make it really difficult to find a willing participant in this. Like for my texas friend, he solely seeks out people for this kind of relationship.

I don't get it
Yeah, to me FWB differs from FB (F buddy/booty call), but some do use them interchangeably.
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