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Old 03-18-2015, 08:13 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,979,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Yeah. I've got a pretty good idea. This isn't my first marriage.

That's why I like staying friends with my exes, when possible. They're still good friends who know me really well. I find that comforting even in a nonsexual way. If I was single and just not finding anyone I wanted to date seriously and/or not wanting a serious relationship, I'd probably have sex with one of them if I just wanted sex. Less risky. Especially since I am an emotional person. Having feelings for an ex that you've remained friends with is logical. That's a person with whom you've shared a good deal of yourself in the past. Less hollow than some sort of hookup. I think I'd just give up sex entirely before going that route if I was ever single again. Naturally, I'd rather stay married. My husband is a great guy and my very best friend.

You are correct. I am fortunate to be married. Marriage isn't super easy all the time, but the benefits are great. Having a regular someone that you love and are committed to is a fine thing indeed.

Fully agree. Having sex with someone new is exciting, especially when it leads to something more, but having a person that knows me, my flaws, etc and accepts and cares about me as a person is pretty awesome and comforting.
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Old 03-18-2015, 08:18 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,549 posts, read 4,810,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Which is why FWBs get such a bad reputation.

I was reminded with the past person I dated how much better sex is with someone your in love with, adore, and have that monogamous connection with.

But those connections are hard to find, so in the meantime, nice, comfortable sex with a good friend or two helps during the gap. Better than just doing a lot of first dates and hooking up for the sake of it, for me anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Yeah. I'm married, but if I was single, it's unlikely that I'd have any interest in a FWB unless it was one from my past that I had previously been involved with in some way.

Save all the brand new sex for serious romantic relationships.
These posts interested me hahaha

I can understand what timberline is talking about when it comes to actually FINDING a real connection with someone, I have to agree it is hard. I myself am not attracted to half the guys who are attracted to me. The men I have been attracted to, something always got int he way, and I guess it has killed my desire to want to try again with another guy. I guess I don't want history to keep repeating itself.

As far as an FWB situation my desire for an actual relationship with someone outweighs my desire for "just sex." Even I were to sleep with a friend of mine, the fact that they would leave right afterward and it was only a temporary fix would make me feel bad. So with that I agree with Redzin. Fwb wouldn't work for me either.

Great posts though!
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:26 AM
 
3,763 posts, read 2,969,269 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Hold up. The guy you slept with was LOOKING for a FWB deal and you knew it?

He didn't do anything wrong here. He was up front. If this is what happened, he did his due diligence by telling you he did not want a relationship.
In the OP's first thread about this guy, she stated that he told her up front that he was not interested in a relationship, but she thought she could change his mind.
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Old 03-18-2015, 12:44 PM
 
5,609 posts, read 8,520,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy View Post
Oh. Well then I'm confused. So you have to be friends with the person first? I feel like that would make it really difficult to find a willing participant in this. Like for my texas friend, he solely seeks out people for this kind of relationship.

I don't get it
For me: it went from dating, to breakup, to time apart, to friendship to.... Why not?

Your singular experience is not something which relates. my friend whom I've known for 15 years and I dated pretty much my entire high school year, and after.

It didn't seamlessely transition, but grew naturally.

No comparison whatsoever to your situation. You (no offense intended or implied, just simple fact) do not have the relationship experience necessary to gauge such a situation.
Don't worry, it'll come.
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Old 03-18-2015, 12:51 PM
 
5,609 posts, read 8,520,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
These posts interested me hahaha

I can understand what timberline is talking about when it comes to actually FINDING a real connection with someone, I have to agree it is hard. I myself am not attracted to half the guys who are attracted to me. The men I have been attracted to, something always got int he way, and I guess it has killed my desire to want to try again with another guy. I guess I don't want history to keep repeating itself.

As far as an FWB situation my desire for an actual relationship with someone outweighs my desire for "just sex." Even I were to sleep with a friend of mine, the fact that they would leave right afterward and it was only a temporary fix would make me feel bad. So with that I agree with Redzin. Fwb wouldn't work for me either.

Great posts though!
Who says leave right away?

I cuddle, I go to their place, they come to mine, we go on trips together, go to dinner before or after, I or they spend the night....


Just like any of my guy friends except they sleep in the same bed with me rather than a different bed.

It's NOT "just sex" it's a friendship, where (benefit) the bonus is really good sex.

Sometimes the benefit asts for months, sometimes it's "hey, can I come over"
I didn't even think of it as FWB till I read this thread to be honest....
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:33 PM
 
4,480 posts, read 3,130,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
Who says leave right away?

I cuddle, I go to their place, they come to mine, we go on trips together, go to dinner before or after, I or they spend the night....


Just like any of my guy friends except they sleep in the same bed with me rather than a different bed.

It's NOT "just sex" it's a friendship, where (benefit) the bonus is really good sex.

Sometimes the benefit asts for months, sometimes it's "hey, can I come over"
I didn't even think of it as FWB till I read this thread to be honest....
You are correct. Finding that actual connection that will last with a person is very hard. I've had instances where I was really into someone and they just weren't that into me. After a while, I did get a bit tired of history continuing to repeat itself, so I took the path of least resistance. I've always had pretty good luck with establishing FWBs, because there's just as many women who have less than stellar luck dating too.

When the dust settles, I will either continue the life of FWBs or a woman will come and make an honest man out of me. The way history has shown itself as of late, FWB seems way more likely. I would love to meet that special person in my life, but I'm finding it harder to meet women who aren't terribly guarded or not in the right place in life to allocate time to date. Why keep trying when you continuously run into the same scenarios?
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:34 PM
 
8,538 posts, read 7,078,120 times
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You're not "just" friends if you are ****ing.
The whole term is silly.

I would imagine people do it for various reasons, You can't boil it down to just one
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:36 PM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,979,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
You are correct. Finding that actual connection that will last with a person is very hard. I've had instances where I was really into someone and they just weren't that into me. After a while, I did get a bit tired of history continuing to repeat itself, so I took the path of least resistance. I've always had pretty good luck with establishing FWBs, because there's just as many women who have less than stellar luck dating too.

When the dust settles, I will either continue the life of FWBs or a woman will come and make an honest man out of me. The way history has shown itself as of late, FWB seems way more likely. I would love to meet that special person in my life, but I'm finding it harder to meet women who aren't terribly guarded or not in the right place in life to allocate time to date. Why keep trying when you continuously run into the same scenarios?

Because if you don't try, there is pretty much zero likelihood of succeeding.

I hear what you're saying though.
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:56 PM
 
5,609 posts, read 8,520,066 times
Reputation: 7684
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
You're not "just" friends if you are ****ing.
The whole term is silly.

I would imagine people do it for various reasons, You can't boil it down to just one
No, it's not "just friends" that's why it's called FWB... To differentiate.

What would you call it?
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:01 PM
 
8,538 posts, read 7,078,120 times
Reputation: 8973
Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
No, it's not "just friends" that's why it's called FWB... To differentiate.

What would you call it?
**** buddy.

Call it what it if you are not looking to have more or less than.
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