Is wanting only FWB a form of protection against vulnerability?

[zoomzoom3]

I do the FWB thing because I routinely work around 80 hours a week and so does my partner. Both of us tried traditional relationships despite being busy only to be dumped repeatedly due to not being able to put enough time into a traditional relationship.

I think you can avoid emotional entanglement if you have two persons with a certain personality/mindset. On the Myers-Briggs I'm an INTJ and my partner is an ENTJ, two NTJ's work perfectly together in a FWB relationship since we place logic ahead of emotions. Contrary to what some might believe, we are both not unemotional robots, we have emotions but know how to keep them under control. We have established boundaries in place to prevent things from getting too emotionally involved and it works. We don't just come over to each other's place & get down and that's it, we go out to eat, do things outdoors, etc. the same thing normal couples do. There is no drama or tension because there is no expectation of anything serious, we don't live together & don't have the stresses that go along with all of that. The sex is absolutely incredible too because things are so carefree.

FWB relationships can be great but only if both parties know how maintain one properly. They aren't for everyone, they can be torture for people with very emotional personality types. Hopefully everything I said makes sense here.

[Themanwithnoname]

Originally Posted by rego00123

**** buddy.

Call it what it if you are not looking to have more or less than.

So basically your hung up on the semantics.

[RedZin]

Originally Posted by CapsChick

In the OP's first thread about this guy, she stated that he told her up front that he was not interested in a relationship, but she thought she could change his mind.

Yeah... but sometimes, people say they don't really want a relationship, but do indicate an openness to one possibly developing in time. If they specifically wanted a FWB situation, I would NEVER assume a relationship may develop.

And if I wanted a relationship, I wouldn't have sex as a virgin with the guy who said he didn't want a relationship. I'd wait and see if he changed his mind about a relationship first. In the meantime, I'd just enjoy his friendship and such.

But, that's just me.

[Nema98]

It can be, but I think it varies from person to person. Sometimes one person wants a relationship, the other wants something casual, so they end up as FWB.

Other times both want relationships, however busy schedules and distance may prevent them from being in a relationship, so they decide for a FWB arrangement.

Some FWBs turn into relationships, others fizzle out and the two go on into different relationships.

Make sure you two are on the same page, if not then move on.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by alaskandaisy

I'm speaking more in terms of men, because from my observations, a "FWB" relationship is usually more favored by men.

I started thinking about the psychology behind it, and I'm wondering what are the motives that men have behind wanting this type of relationship. My thoughts are:

-Fear of commitment
-Fear of being hurt
-Fear of vulnerability
-Easy way out
-Not having to deal with emotions
-No strings attached sex

Does this type of relationship really provide meaning and fulfillment to either party? Has this type of relationship ever worked out evenly for both parties emotionally?

Everyone can live their life their own way, I just don't see the point in a friends with benefits type of relationship. I see true love, meaning, and value created only in traditional relationships.

Thoughts?

My thoughts are that if you don't want a FWB relationship, then don't have one. And only have a relationship with someone that also wants a relationship. And don't worry about what other people do. There are plenty of men out there that want a real relationship.

[rego00123]

Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname

So basically your hung up on the semantics.

Not at all

It's called calling a bird a bird and not blurring lines to fit indivual needs and keeping the truth of the matter as the heart of its cause.

Something a ton of people seem to get crossed lines with on this board when discussing friends/friendship/opposite sex relations is being freidnly is NOT the same as being a friend.

It's when you start flaking or changing on what defines something to fit your indivual situations and scenerios for whatever reason that you end up with the confusion that follows trying to figure out what was what and who was who.

[Frayzer]

Originally Posted by alaskandaisy

I'm speaking more in terms of men, because from my observations, a "FWB" relationship is usually more favored by men.

Well it takes a male and a female to agree on a friends with benefits right...? So that means women favor it too.

Originally Posted by alaskandaisy

I started thinking about the psychology behind it, and I'm wondering what are the motives that men have behind wanting this type of relationship. My thoughts are:

-Fear of commitment
-Fear of being hurt
-Fear of vulnerability
-Easy way out

Those four are weak and needy.

-Not having to deal with emotions
-No strings attached sex

These two would be my reasons and I would assume her reasons as well.

Originally Posted by alaskandaisy

Does this type of relationship really provide meaning and fulfillment to either party? Has this type of relationship ever worked out evenly for both parties emotionally?

Friends with benefits is meant to be strictly about sex. If both parties are happy on getting the sex they want, then it works.

Originally Posted by alaskandaisy

Everyone can live their life their own way, I just don't see the point in a friends with benefits type of relationship. I see true love, meaning, and value created only in traditional relationships.
Thoughts?

Random hook-ups and "values" are loosing their value nowadays. It's all about how "nice" men can be and how many likes a woman can get on her latest selfie.