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Aw, thank you. I've come a long way since our breakup. I realize that he was honest from the beginning and that I was the one who tried to change him. I also came to understand that the 'relationship', regardless of his motives, was completely unrealistic anyway due to distance and that I can do much better. We've actually decided to remain friends. (just friends)
That's good. Just don't get lured back in.
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I'm having a really hard time understanding how a woman can continually have sex with a man and not catch feelings!? How is this possible!!!?
Edit: How can an honest, loving, genuine female do this? I'm probably going to get hate for saying this, but I feel that woman who favor FWB relationships lack some fundamental qualities of a nice girl.
Well really it's none of your business what other women do with their body now is it
Sort your own life out before you go judging others.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
FWB aren't just favored by men. The last person I dated wanted to transition to a FWB from dating and I couldn't do it, or, I didn't want to do it. So it ended. LOTS of women prefer FWBs as I've found over the last ten years.
There are emotions with FWBs though. No ones says their aren't. Do you care for your friends? I do. I think most people do. So there is caring with sex with a friend. But loving and caring for someone is different than being in love with them.
I'm speaking more in terms of men, because from my observations, a "FWB" relationship is usually more favored by men.
I started thinking about the psychology behind it, and I'm wondering what are the motives that men have behind wanting this type of relationship. My thoughts are:
-Fear of commitment
-Fear of being hurt
-Fear of vulnerability
-Easy way out
-Not having to deal with emotions
-No strings attached sex
Does this type of relationship really provide meaning and fulfillment to either party? Has this type of relationship ever worked out evenly for both parties emotionally?
Everyone can live their life their own way, I just don't see the point in a friends with benefits type of relationship. I see true love, meaning, and value created only in traditional relationships.
Thoughts?
Married for years and divorced and can't financially afford another failure
Fear of being hurt
Trust issues
Don't like being told what to do
Don't like dealing with the stress that comes with a relationship
All the above
I'm having a really hard time understanding how a woman can continually have sex with a man and not catch feelings!? How is this possible!!!?
Edit: How can an honest, loving, genuine female do this? I'm probably going to get hate for saying this, but I feel that woman who favor FWB relationships lack some fundamental qualities of a nice girl.
You can fall completely head over heels if you want, just be mature about it. If that's your thing it'll only make it better.
You're also quite young and still looking for that First Love. Once they've been in a few long-term relationships, people's views on sex can change, especially once you get past 35-ish and there's less stigma for just want to get physical without being "tied down" to someone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskandaisy
I'm having a really hard time understanding how a woman can continually have sex with a man and not catch feelings!? How is this possible!!!?
Edit: How can an honest, loving, genuine female do this? I'm probably going to get hate for saying this, but I feel that woman who favor FWB relationships lack some fundamental qualities of a nice girl.
She's trying to figure out why the dude she thought she was in a relationship with really just wanted sex and didn't want a commitment. Even after he told her he was bad at relationships.
Sorry. This is the OP overthinking. Her "ex" is just not relationship material and he sounds like he may need therapy.
I think he did his best to warn her, but she thought her love could heal him or some such.
I will refer us all to that timeless nugget:
When someone tells you what they really are? Believe them.
Was this in another thread or something? I didn't get this from the OP. But if the underlined is true, then yes...she's overthinking her particular situation. I was just responding the the OP, that had more of a "general curiosity" tone to it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
BEFORE HE MET YOU.
So, whether he was at one time is irrelevant in your case.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
Was this in another thread or something? I didn't get this from the OP. But if the underlined is true, then yes...she's overthinking her particular situation. I was just responding the the OP, that had more of a "general curiosity" tone to it.
+1.
She had 2-3 threads on the same guy with out there questions... a guy she met once for a weekend/week but had a long distance "relationship" with.
I'm having a really hard time understanding how a woman can continually have sex with a man and not catch feelings!? How is this possible!!!?
Edit: How can an honest, loving, genuine female do this? I'm probably going to get hate for saying this, but I feel that woman who favor FWB relationships lack some fundamental qualities of a nice girl.
Because not every guy we are attracted to is relationship material, but he may be a good friend and good in bed.
Nice girls like sex too.
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