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Old 03-19-2015, 01:05 PM
 
621 posts, read 876,541 times
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What do you mean by element?
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:08 PM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,998,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
What do you mean by element?
element = group of people

Often "element" is used in a very mild derogatory manner. As in a certain neighborhood as a significant "bad element".
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:12 PM
 
Location: My House
34,513 posts, read 28,812,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
What do you mean by element?
Some people just aren't gonna be interested in or willing to go along with no sex before marriage.

Those people (and they're a majority of people who are 21 and older) are not going to be down for the no sex thing you're proposing.

Point being, you're a woman in your late 20s (if memory serves) and the older you get, the harder it'll be to find a guy who is willing not to have sex before marriage.

If this guy is a good one so far and you two get along, there's no need for you to put off being exclusive with him.

In fact, if you do like him, it's pretty much the least you could do since you're not seeing anyone else and you're not willing to have sex with him. Give the guy some indication that he's not wasting his time.

If you cannot do that, don't keep dating him.

If you can, then be exclusive, but ask yourself how long you need to date him before you know whether this relationship is headed for marriage and the sex he already wants to have but seems to be willing to wait for you to have with him.

Don't date this guy for months and months if you know you wouldn't ever want to marry him. Let him go on and date women who are more like him.

He's not a guy who made a personal decision not to have sex before marriage. He's a guy who is going along with this because he likes you and YOU made that decision.
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Old 03-19-2015, 01:29 PM
 
432 posts, read 287,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Some people just aren't gonna be interested in or willing to go along with no sex before marriage.
Beg to differ.

I've met countless people who swore up and down about being "pure until marriage" only to find out that they were blatantly lying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Those people (and they're a majority of people who are 21 and older) are not going to be down for the no sex thing you're proposing.
Point being, you're a woman in your late 20s (if memory serves) and the older you get, the harder it'll be to find a guy who is willing not to have sex before marriage.
Or people are realizing that sex isn't really a logical choice but more of an emotion. So why lie!?


Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
If this guy is a good one so far and you two get along, there's no need for you to put off being exclusive with him.
In fact, if you do like him, it's pretty much the least you could do since you're not seeing anyone else and you're not willing to have sex with him. Give the guy some indication that he's not wasting his time.
If you cannot do that, don't keep dating him.
These statements are very logical, which is why it does not work in a woman's mind(when it comes to dating). Women are generally not up front and brutal about disinterest. Why? Because they're naturally submissive and naturally let out subtle cues that they THINK the guy understands, but 9/10 he does not.

A woman's version of expressing disinterest is simply not being there nor initiated.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
If you can, then be exclusive, but ask yourself how long you need to date him before you know whether this relationship is headed for marriage and the sex he already wants to have but seems to be willing to wait for you to have with him.
A woman cannot answer that question logically simply because her interest is resting on HIS shoulders. Meaning if he suddenly becomes complacent, all of that gets thrown out the window.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Don't date this guy for months and months if you know you wouldn't ever want to marry him. Let him go on and date women who are more like him.
He's not a guy who made a personal decision not to have sex before marriage. He's a guy who is going along with this because he likes you and YOU made that decision.
Men should not be dating only THEM if they are not exclusive. This is one of the reasons why; if he's being stringed along it does not matter because he has options. The reason why I say that women shouldn't be having as many options as men is because 90% of them cannot handle it. Women have FAR more options than men, at the moment, which turns them into these nasty egotistical self entitled rats. It's kind of sad in my opinion.
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Old 03-19-2015, 08:56 PM
 
Location: My House
34,513 posts, read 28,812,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frayzer View Post
Beg to differ.

I've met countless people who swore up and down about being "pure until marriage" only to find out that they were blatantly lying.



Or people are realizing that sex isn't really a logical choice but more of an emotion. So why lie!?




These statements are very logical, which is why it does not work in a woman's mind(when it comes to dating). Women are generally not up front and brutal about disinterest. Why? Because they're naturally submissive and naturally let out subtle cues that they THINK the guy understands, but 9/10 he does not.

A woman's version of expressing disinterest is simply not being there nor initiated.




A woman cannot answer that question logically simply because her interest is resting on HIS shoulders. Meaning if he suddenly becomes complacent, all of that gets thrown out the window.




Men should not be dating only THEM if they are not exclusive. This is one of the reasons why; if he's being stringed along it does not matter because he has options. The reason why I say that women shouldn't be having as many options as men is because 90% of them cannot handle it. Women have FAR more options than men, at the moment, which turns them into these nasty egotistical self entitled rats. It's kind of sad in my opinion.
You've perplexed me here.

You are saying a man should never be in an exclusive relationship?
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:08 PM
 
621 posts, read 876,541 times
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I am still thinking about him and I officially becoming a couple, I just wonder if 2 months isn't rushing it. Again I have had previous boyfriends where we became a couple at different times, one happened a week after a breakup with another guy, another happened after 1 date, others varied. Now I just hope I am doing the right thing.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:30 PM
 
914 posts, read 586,217 times
Reputation: 1439
Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
I am still thinking about him and I officially becoming a couple, I just wonder if 2 months isn't rushing it. Again I have had previous boyfriends where we became a couple at different times, one happened a week after a breakup with another guy, another happened after 1 date, others varied. Now I just hope I am doing the right thing.
Why can't you just be honest with this dude and tell him how you feel? Tell him that you like him, but you feel a bit rushed and that you would prefer to slow it down. That should not be a problem and he should appreciate the honesty. If you can't feel comfortable communicating with him about how you really feel, that's not a solid foundation for any relationship.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,350 posts, read 19,764,096 times
Reputation: 45180
Quote:
Originally Posted by disneygogetter View Post
I am still thinking about him and I officially becoming a couple, I just wonder if 2 months isn't rushing it. Again I have had previous boyfriends where we became a couple at different times, one happened a week after a breakup with another guy, another happened after 1 date, others varied. Now I just hope I am doing the right thing.
Doing "the right thing?"

What does that mean? The right thing for you, him, a relationship? Are you just hoping to do the right thing to have a long term relationship? Do you genuinely care about him?
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:43 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,209 posts, read 4,613,630 times
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I became exclusive with past SOs, gosh, within the first couple weeks? Heck, my second husband and I got married after two months.
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Old 03-20-2015, 07:21 AM
 
621 posts, read 876,541 times
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Well this was a first him and I had been talking for everyday straight then yesturday was the first day we didn't talk at all. Wonder if we will talk again because today and tomorrow we have 2 dates back to back.
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