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Old 03-19-2015, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,604,350 times
Reputation: 5445

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Sorry to be so right to the point but... I'm betting she's found another supplier...
28 years old and she's not wanting to have sex all the time just leads me to think that she's getting it elsewhere and she's not had the courage to let you know...

I hope I'm wrong, because I know how much that hurts, but I'm being as up front and to the point as I can be.
Borrow a friends car (that she doesn't recognize) and drive to her place, park down the block, and see if she spends the night there, or has a visitor, etc.
You may want to bring your friend because if what I think is correct, you're going to be too upset to drive back to your place... and a friend can always help you through tough times...
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Old 03-19-2015, 03:59 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,235,612 times
Reputation: 16580
Quote:
Originally Posted by ippn1 View Post
We have been together for a year (we live apart 15 minutes (driving) - I constantly feel unwanted and unloved.

the fact i didnt get anything dont even bother me as much as the sexual thing... TNX
No, not wrong...if the relationship is based solely on sex...which it sure sounds like it is....and in that case, I doubt it'll last.
Also I don't consider living a 15 minute drive away from each other as being together. Maybe she doesn't either. Seems from your post that the only reason you DO get together is so that you can have your sex.
If you want to be {really} together, share your place, your lives and your thoughts..... not just your bed.
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Old 03-19-2015, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Coastal Mid-Atlantic
6,721 posts, read 4,390,330 times
Reputation: 8320
You're only 28. Enjoy it for what it is, SEX!. Dont get attached. Have fun.
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Old 03-19-2015, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,604,350 times
Reputation: 5445
Quote:
Originally Posted by xsthomas View Post
You're only 28. Enjoy it for what it is, SEX!. Dont get attached. Have fun.
By the sound of it, he'll be doing it solo... and that's not exactly the idea... however, anniversary's and birthdays are a lot less expensive... (sorry, my sarcastic side kicks in around 5pm)... Yabba-dabba-do! it's quittin' time!
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Old 03-19-2015, 04:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by xsthomas View Post
You're only 28. Enjoy it for what it is, SEX!. Dont get attached. Have fun.
Did you mean, "enjoy it for what it isn't"? The relationship isn't about sex, though it sounds like the OP would like it to be. Did everyone get the part where he said they only had sex 5 times in the first 6 months? And not much more, since then?

I think the OP was expecting a "normal" relationship, with a lot of activity, dates, etc. and the usual physical intimacy. Living 15 minutes apart has no bearing on how often they see each other, or what they do when they do see each other. The relationship (if that's what it is, hard to say; maybe this gf sees it differently, somehow) isn't progressing in a normal fashion, for whatever reason. OP is trying to determine that reason. He says talking to her about it hasn't clarified or resolved anything.

So, after a year's time, and multiple efforts to address the issue, maybe it's time to let her go. Or did you want to drag this on to a year-and-a-half, OP?

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 03-19-2015 at 04:32 PM..
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Old 03-19-2015, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
If you are not happy with your sex life and she is - then you are incompatible.

You also said you view her more as a friend than a girlfriend. That shouldn't be the case in a relationship.
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Old 03-19-2015, 05:09 PM
 
21 posts, read 16,397 times
Reputation: 15
some of you have completely wrong idea!
I do love her, i do nice things for her, im there if she needs me, i show her that i care, i do NOT mention her sex every week, i do not grab every chance while we are in bed to get some... but when sex is almost non-existent in a 1 year relationship how can i be happy? what can i expect in the future? months without sex will likely turn into years...

i find her attractive, i love her and i want her. its not like just an act of sex, i want to make love to her i need that connection. but as things are i feel unloved and unwanted - i was honest with her about my needs and what sex means to me. Hell i d be happy with regular sex once per week. is that too much to expect at 28???

Again, this is my first serious relationship, so you better believe it when i say i do love her and care for her... im not all about sex, but man, there is almost no sex! I dont think that is right or normal... And BTW for anniversary i made her a painting - i worked over 10 hours on it. so now you know...

i have a need in relationship - a perfectly normal one, so i dont know why all the hate...

Last edited by ippn1; 03-19-2015 at 05:31 PM..
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Old 03-19-2015, 05:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
You're not out of line, OP. But you need to face the fact that it's not happening. You two are not on the same page in this regard, for whatever reason. You've tried 3 times to discuss and resolve the problem, to no avail. She's not going to morph into another person.

So, what next?


btw, did you check in with her to make sure you're meeting her needs on that rare occasion? Maybe she doesn't like the way you do it....?
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Old 03-19-2015, 05:36 PM
 
21 posts, read 16,397 times
Reputation: 15
After we started having sex and she never orgasmed, i said id like to give her one and she should tell me what should i do to please her... She said dont worry, that she has never had an orgasm with any boyfriend and that it is OK. its like she doesnt even care to try/say it...

I asked her if she achieved orgasms by masturbating and she said yes... Maybe thats the reason. After that i was watching/noticing her during sex more closely and all i can say from her body responses and facial expressions is that she likes it/enjoys it... but clearly not enough...
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Old 03-19-2015, 05:39 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,007 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52521
Quote:
Originally Posted by ippn1 View Post
After we started having sex and she never orgasmed, i said id like to give her one and she should tell me what should i do to please her... She said dont worry, that she has never had an orgasm with any boyfriend and that it is OK. its like she doesnt even care to try/say it...

I asked her if she achieved orgasms by masturbating and she said yes... Maybe thats the reason. After that i was watching/noticing her during sex more closely and all i can say from her body responses and facial expressions is that she likes it/enjoys it... but clearly not enough...
A good amount of women don't O thru intercourse.

Lilac is usually pretty spot on with the stats, as I don't know the exact percentages, but enough to realize that I wasn't alone when I was younger and wondered why women didn't O through the thunderstick alone.....
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