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Old 03-21-2015, 11:48 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
494 posts, read 379,199 times
Reputation: 1212

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When women choose to hang out in a group with each other, they pretty much are putting out a signal saying "go the f*ck away and leave us alone". That might not be the actual intent, but that's how it's interpreted...
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Old 03-21-2015, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,628 posts, read 44,081,698 times
Reputation: 24962
To approach a group of ladies approach with a couple.A boyfriend/girlfriend couple isn't threatening.
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Old 03-22-2015, 05:03 AM
 
12,255 posts, read 13,483,007 times
Reputation: 14119
Quote:
Originally Posted by santafe400 View Post
I have heard this a fair share of times. Why do you think this is the case? I am sure there are always exceptions, perhaps?
You have to know how to approach and when.

If you wait long enough the one you like out if the group will have to pee.

At this point she will be escorted by one of her friends. This is ok since it's only one and not seven.

You then situate yourself in between the bathroom and her table.

When the girl is coming out of the bathroom and walking toward you it's time to make eye contact. As she gets near you hold out your hand and say, "Hi, I'm Bob." Hopefully she will shake your hand before her friend pushes her away. If not she now knows you are interested and there is no further plan. You now wait for her.

No doubt the group will talk about you and may even egg the girlfriend to talk to you. At either rate you let her know you are interested and nothing more is needed.

If you do anymore than this you WILL fail.
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Old 03-22-2015, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Columbia, MD
1,423 posts, read 1,978,916 times
Reputation: 2115
Here is the basic problem (in a nutshell) with approaching a group of women, especially 3+ in a bar or club setting. First off, everyone has their defenses and "cool factor" elevated x 12 so typically unless you can impress the group leader or most popular girl in the group nothing you can do or say will really matter. Also, in a group of 3 or more women chances are by default no matter how good-looking or confident you may appear, at-least one of the women just won't be feeling you and that alone can impair your game tremendously.

Now for conversation sake lets assume you are a well put together guy, with above average looks, decent personality, dress nice, can fake some confidence and put together a decent conversation. Here's your primary problem that you face. Throughout the night I am sure the group of girls you have been eyeing out of the corner of your eye have been approached by needy, socially-impaired, can't take a hint, overly aggressive, and of course legit creepy dudes all night. This right off the bat decreases your overall stock value before you even begin a conversation with these ladies. Again, all it takes is for the queen-bee of the group to be uninterested in you for the rest of the group to aptly follow her lead.

Also, as a side note if a group of women are reasonably young and attractive. Chances are most if not all (unfortunately) will have a man involved in their lives despite being in a location that is popular with single men.
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Old 03-22-2015, 10:46 AM
 
Location: City of Atlanta
2,747 posts, read 1,699,167 times
Reputation: 3825
Sounds like you were in a gay bar.
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Old 03-22-2015, 10:58 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,982 posts, read 69,929,188 times
Reputation: 75762
OP, it sounds like you're very good at talking yourself into paralysis. You're great at conjuring up reasons for failure. That's not the way to be a success at anything in life.

"cool factor". "Queen bee"? Really? These are adults, not Middle School kids. This is all in your mind. They've been approached all night by socially-impaired creepy losers? Is this what you observe when you go to a club? Geeks and creeps approaching a table of 3-5 women all night? I doubt it. Because most of those guys would be just as reticent as you. You're being ridiculous. Any group of adult women that behaved the way you say wouldn't be worth your time, anyway.

Lose the self-defeating mindset. And if approaching women in bars/clubs causes you so much angst, find other places to approach women. There are opportunities everywhere, whether in various activity/hobby groups or sports leagues, photog or improv classes, or at the coffeeshop or grocery store, monthly art gallery walk, concerts, wherever.
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Old 03-22-2015, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Columbia, MD
1,423 posts, read 1,978,916 times
Reputation: 2115
Quote:
Sounds like you were in a gay bar.
Haha. When I was drafting this thread, I just knew someone would say this! However, I am 98.3% sure it was not a gay bar. It just happened to a be a popular sports/billiards type of bar that would by default have a greater percentage of men to women.
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Old 03-22-2015, 11:55 AM
 
4,608 posts, read 3,771,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Never approach a women who had more than 2-3 girlfriends with her. Great way to set yourself up for humiliation.
Fortune favors the bold.
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Old 03-22-2015, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Columbia, MD
1,423 posts, read 1,978,916 times
Reputation: 2115
Quote:
Never approach a women who had more than 2-3 girlfriends with her. Great way to set yourself up for humiliation.
Has this ever happened to you?
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Old 03-22-2015, 01:01 PM
 
3,764 posts, read 2,971,833 times
Reputation: 7474
When I was in my 20s/early 30s, I went to bars with girlfriends frequently. Maybe there would be two of us, maybe 4 or 5, depending on the situation. I was regularly approached by guys, and I'm sure my friends were, too. A guy approaching one woman in a busy bar didn't need to worry about impressing the entire group. Everyone had their own conversations going with each other or other bar patrons. From reading the Relationship forum (since this issue has been mentioned in other threads), it sounds as though either times have changed, or guys are just far bigger wussies these days. Thank goodness dudes had the balls to approach in my bar days!
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