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I'm curious to know your opinion on this. I was at a very crowded and popular bar the other evening that typically can see upwards of 400-500 patrons spread out over a relatively large area. Of those 500 or so patrons, probably 400 or about 80% were men. Adjacent to where some of my buddies were hanging out were a group of 5 reasonably attractive women all in their early to mid 20's just hanging out with each-other and appearing to have a good time. They must have been hanging out their in the same spot for at-least 3 hours. However, the entire time I was there I did not see one dude come over and introduce themselves to these attractive women even though there were no other guys with them that night. Are a lot of men just afraid or hesitant to approach women in groups? I know plenty of guys complain that the bar/club scene in their respective city is a total "sausage-fest" But who are some of these dudes to complain when they don't even step outside their comfort zone to meet other women.
I'm curious to know your opinion on this. I was at a very crowded and popular bar the other evening that typically can see upwards of 400-500 patrons spread out over a relatively large area. Of those 500 or so patrons, probably 400 or about 80% were men. Adjacent to where some of my buddies were hanging out were a group of 5 reasonably attractive women all in their early to mid 20's just hanging out with each-other and appearing to have a good time. They must have been hanging out their in the same spot for at-least 3 hours. However, the entire time I was there I did not see one dude come over and introduce themselves to these attractive women even though there were no other guys with them that night. Are a lot of men just afraid or hesitant to approach women in groups? I know plenty of guys complain that the bar/club scene in their respective city is a total "sausage-fest" But who are some of these dudes to complain when they don't even step outside their comfort zone to meet other women.
This is a good question. A lot of women would like to know the answer to this question. I've seen this play out in a lot of contexts, not just bars/clubs. Going by some of the posts we've had on this topic in the past, I'd say a lot of men are intimidated by groups of women, i.e. they don't know how to approach a group if they're only interested in one particular woman. That's not all guys, though. And it doesn't explain why a couple of buddies wouldn't approach the women together.
You need a more or less equal number of guys or else whoever gets left out might ruin it for everyone. I had this happen once in a bar when I was 19 *ahem* I mean 22.
Some buddies and I were talking to a table of girls and one got left out. As things got to the point where we were all settling in and ordering another round, Oddwheela got a "headache" and demanded that the whole group leave. I even tried to calm the situation down a bit by saying I was friends with the barstaff (true) and could probably get her some Aspirin or whatever but she said she HAD to go lay down.
Other times, it's just overly intimidating to be outnumbered. If they giggle or whisper, you think it's about you. You feel like you have to impress them all even if you only want to talk to one of them. Etc.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by santafe400
I have heard this a fair share of times. Why do you think this is the case? I am sure there are always exceptions, perhaps?
Because they will very likely laugh at you like you are an absolute scrub not worthy of their friends attention once you leave. It is like in HS if you got in a fight with a smaller person and lost and all your boys are clowning you for losing.
You feel like you have to impress them all even if you only want to talk to one
And that my friend is the crux of the matter!
Quote:
Because they will very likely laugh at you like you are an absolute scrub not worthy of their friends attention once you leave.
Fair enough and point understood. However, there has to be some dude out there with enough confidence to at-least risk some sort of rejection for a possible reward. (good conversation, phone no., etc.) I can't imagine that in a bar where dudes greatly outnumber women 4 to 1, that no one would have the courage to introduce themselves to a group of reasonably attractive women over a 3 hr. time-span.
So, why didn't you and your buddies approach this group of women?
I have a gf and was only interested in downing a few beers with a friend I had not seen in quite sometime. However, the other 4 guys in the group are single and it was funny as each person challenged the other to go and say something to the group of ladies. In the end all made convenient excuses and nothing happened.
Remember as well that this was a huge bar, with something like 400 guys in attendance. I couldn't believe no one said anything to these attractive women all night!
Last edited by santafe400; 03-21-2015 at 01:57 PM..
I'm married now, so this may not be a deal breaker anymore. But in my single days, I wouldn't have lasted more than a few minutes in a club populated by 80% male patrons. I preferred places where women were more plentiful, not a 1 in 5 ratio. The U.S. is pretty evenly split between men and women, with a slight tilt toward women. This holds true in the vast majority of places across the U.S. If I walked into a place and saw that many men, I'd think I was in the wrong kind of place and wouldn't stick around. If a pack of beautiful women went "unnoticed" for that long in such a place, it would confirm my suspicions.
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