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Yes, I cheated on my first husband and completely ruined everyone's life including my childrens. I am still ashamed and feel a tremendous amount of guilt almost 20 years later. I learned a very hard lesson that I most certainly never repeated but some damage can never be undone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Cave Man
I'm with Believe. I've yet to hear someone who has cheated say that it was their fault and they are the one who are responsible.
My xww cheated on me. It was my fault cause I did "this" or I did "that".
So I am a bit biased on the subject. Hurt me, that's fine. Hurt my kids(or any kids), and I get a lil bit pissy.
And yes I also judge people. When someone says they don't judge, total BS.
Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
I'm a pretty easy guy, if someone does me or just a "general" wrong, I, for most part, will let it go, if I get a sense that there is a true sadness and contrition and of course not doing it again.
This is for most basic things, I'm not talking about murder or child molestation or stuff like that.
Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
I'm a pretty easy guy, if someone does me or just a "general" wrong, I, for most part, will let it go, if I get a sense that there is a true sadness and contrition and of course not doing it again.
This is for most basic things, I'm not talking about murder or child molestation or stuff like that.
I stand corrected. I agree with you Chowhound, Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
Thank you for bringing that to my attention, seriously do appreciate it.
Djuna, I wish all wayward spouses felt the same as you. I think they would learn from your experience and how you feel now. Too many feel justified by their actions. I wish you, your xhusband, and mostly your children the best. Thank you for posting.
Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
I'm a pretty easy guy, if someone does me or just a "general" wrong, I, for most part, will let it go, if I get a sense that there is a true sadness and contrition and of course not doing it again.
This is for most basic things, I'm not talking about murder or child molestation or stuff like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Cave Man
I stand corrected. I agree with you Chowhound, Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
Thank you for bringing that to my attention, seriously do appreciate it.
Djuna, I wish all wayward spouses felt the same as you. I think they would learn from your experience and how you feel now. Too many feel justified by their actions. I wish you, your xhusband, and mostly your children the best. Thank you for posting.
Djuna's post seemed quite genuine. I'll admit that her style here often puts me off a bit (my issue, lots of people enjoy her posts) but this was touching.
I think in most instances I've seen, the original relationship is a bigger mistake than the cheating. It seems to happen at the point where the cheater is pretty much ready to be done anyways. At least that's been the kind I've observed. Definitely how it went down with my parents, and my husband's 2 ex-wives. Maybe if those cheaters had felt as though their SO was prepared or able to let them go without completely blowing a gasket into crazy-town, they would have just broken it off first instead of going down the road into dishonesty.
And when I say blowing a gasket, I do not mean just being upset and yelling. I mean the time my Mom thought her husband was cheating so she drove to the apt complex where she thought he was at, and pushed the car she thought was his into an intersection with her SUV and smashed it into a wall, then drove off and NEVER GOT CAUGHT...hours later he pulls up in his (undamaged) vehicle. So she did that to a stranger's car.
That's crazy.
Like the fact that if/when I finally get up the stones to leave my old man, he's almost certain to try and kill himself, and somewhat likely to attempt to take others with him.
That's crazy.
Which is the bigger mistake...cheating on crazy or hooking up with crazy in the first place? And frankly, I know lots of crazy people, especially in the context of bad relationships.
Djuna sounds very remorseful and regretful of her actions.
I'm a pretty easy guy, if someone does me or just a "general" wrong, I, for most part, will let it go, if I get a sense that there is a true sadness and contrition and of course not doing it again.
This is for most basic things, I'm not talking about murder or child molestation or stuff like that.
Djuna sounds remorseful. That's a good sign. Other people will blame others for their scumbag ways. You didn't just accidentally sit on another man's penis or fall into another woman's vagina. Take some responsibility!
Djuna sounds remorseful. That's a good sign. Other people will blame others for their scumbag ways. You didn't just accidentally sit on another man's penis or fall into another woman's vagina. Take some responsibility!
Are we giving out rewards now to the person who SOUNDS most remorseful for cheating?
I somehow missed that part.
Not a reward by no means. She was the one who said, hey I messed up and I hurt a lot of people on my own. She didn't say her husband was a drunk, druggie, or not do what she wanted. She didn't blame someone else. That's a big step. She didn't justify her actions by blaming someone else.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm a sucker for people who own up to their mistakes. We all make mistakes, it's not the end of the world. As long as someone understands it is their fault and actually realizes what they did and doesn't want to do it again....that is growing and learning. Nobody is so smart that they can't keep learning.
And if others thinking of cheating read that, maybe they will change their mind.
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