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Old 03-21-2015, 11:31 PM
 
114 posts, read 192,159 times
Reputation: 96

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I posted a few days ago about breaking up with my alcoholic BF. I know he loves me but in an instant, I finally realized that I was done with all the BS and no longer had an interest in trying to make it work, I ended it. He asked if I would stay in his life as a friend since that is sort of where we had drifted anyway. I agreed but in all honesty, I don't think that will even last.

I cried when I broke up with him which seamed abnormal in a way but then I realized it was because I now have to start my life over again, I have had to do it many times for various reasons and don't want to do it again.

He called to tell me he misses me and I could not say the same and told him so, no tears on my part. I thought I would cry over breaking up, was prepared for that, I was not prepared to just not give a dam any more, that's a new one on me.
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Old 03-21-2015, 11:35 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,213 posts, read 39,753,372 times
Reputation: 41674
Sometimes you have to hit bottom to do the hard deed of cutting things off.

Time is what you need, time away from him and to get your head on straight, same goes for him and hopefully he can put down the booze a bit and dry out and get a bit of direction in where he wants to go.

Cut off contact with him for a while... you can't be friends instantly after a breakup, you need time, time to get some perspective and that always helps.

You'll be ok... I know this, and you do too, in your gut.


Best to you.
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Old 03-21-2015, 11:41 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,267 posts, read 13,095,299 times
Reputation: 13454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grovester View Post
I posted a few days ago about breaking up with my alcoholic BF. I know he loves me but in an instant, I finally realized that I was done with all the BS and no longer had an interest in trying to make it work, I ended it. He asked if I would stay in his life as a friend since that is sort of where we had drifted anyway. I agreed but in all honesty, I don't think that will even last.

I cried when I broke up with him which seamed abnormal in a way but then I realized it was because I now have to start my life over again, I have had to do it many times for various reasons and don't want to do it again.

He called to tell me he misses me and I could not say the same and told him so, no tears on my part. I thought I would cry over breaking up, was prepared for that, I was not prepared to just not give a dam any more, that's a new one on me.


I was in this situation before. I thought ending it would make me feel like garbage. She was balling her eyes out (even though it was her fault). When I left her house after telling her it was over, I got in my car and had a minute of feeling awful, unsure if it was what I really wanted, and then a sense of relief washed over me like a warm wave. I knew it was toxic, it was at the end of it's rope, and I made the right decision. I started the car, drove away, and never looked back. While I was still a little sad on that drive, I do recall a halfhearted smile on my face.

You'll be fine.
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Old 03-21-2015, 11:46 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,213 posts, read 39,753,372 times
Reputation: 41674
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux View Post
I was in this situation before. I thought ending it would make me feel like garbage. When I left her house after telling her it was over, I got in my car and had a minute of feeling awful, and then a sense of relief washed over me like a warm wave. I knew it was toxic, it was at the end of it's rope. I started the car, drove away, and never looked back.

You'll be fine.
I had a GF way back and I just wasn't into her, I was lazy and didn't want to break up with her, actually I was spineless and didn't have enough backbone to breakup with her...

She deserved to be with a man that into her... I wasn't......

She dumped me and I was never more relived when I drove home that night.

Never talked to her again.

Til about 2 yrs ago, she looked me up on FB and sent me a couple of messages.

The funny thing is is that she was married and looked great, much better than she did back then, she lost some weight and changed her hair.

Good for her....
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Old 03-22-2015, 04:47 AM
 
12,255 posts, read 13,483,007 times
Reputation: 14119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grovester View Post
I posted a few days ago about breaking up with my alcoholic BF. I know he loves me but in an instant, I finally realized that I was done with all the BS and no longer had an interest in trying to make it work, I ended it. He asked if I would stay in his life as a friend since that is sort of where we had drifted anyway. I agreed but in all honesty, I don't think that will even last.

I cried when I broke up with him which seamed abnormal in a way but then I realized it was because I now have to start my life over again, I have had to do it many times for various reasons and don't want to do it again.

He called to tell me he misses me and I could not say the same and told him so, no tears on my part. I thought I would cry over breaking up, was prepared for that, I was not prepared to just not give a dam any more, that's a new one on me.
Good for you!!

Better you did that now then two kids and a marriage to dissolve.

We'll, not the kids. They don't dissolve well.
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,676 posts, read 41,411,184 times
Reputation: 82028
It's called "relief."
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,627 posts, read 11,023,385 times
Reputation: 13847
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It's called "relief."
Concur. There is something liberating about being able to move on and know you have it in you to do it. A lot of us on this forum have gone through it, and a lot still struggle with that ability. OP, you are definitely on the right track.
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Old 03-22-2015, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 4,928,356 times
Reputation: 5236
Good News! Now, go no contact and move forward with your life!
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Old 03-23-2015, 01:50 AM
 
32,288 posts, read 26,146,754 times
Reputation: 18929
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grovester View Post
I posted a few days ago about breaking up with my alcoholic BF. I know he loves me but in an instant, I finally realized that I was done with all the BS and no longer had an interest in trying to make it work, I ended it. He asked if I would stay in his life as a friend since that is sort of where we had drifted anyway. I agreed but in all honesty, I don't think that will even last.

I cried when I broke up with him which seamed abnormal in a way but then I realized it was because I now have to start my life over again, I have had to do it many times for various reasons and don't want to do it again.

He called to tell me he misses me and I could not say the same and told him so, no tears on my part. I thought I would cry over breaking up, was prepared for that, I was not prepared to just not give a dam any more, that's a new one on me.
a great weight has been lifted from your life. one that was toxic and harming you in so many ways. now all that is gone, and you can get on with your life without the drag of a toxic relationship dragging you down.
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