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So this past week I signed up for OkCupid, I'm sure you guys heard of it. In my opinion it has more people interested in relationships than Tinder does. Anyway, I met up and got lunch with a guy on this past Thursday and we hung out again on Saturday & Sunday. On Saturday I went to his house and slept over because his parents we're out of town. We ended up sleeping together, it was a little sooner than I wanted but was still fun.
Anyway, right now I can't exactly tell how I feel about him. Firstly, I know he really likes me. He told me on Saturday night how much he likes me so far and that he wants to continue dating. He's an extremely nice guy, is very family oriented, went to college, loves animals, and is just overall very genuine from what I gathered so far. I can tell he's looking for a girl in his life to be with him and be his girlfriend, he's been single for about a year now. I do like his personality so far. He's also physically attractive, but he's not usually the type of guy I go for.
I do want to see him again, but I can't tell if I should be concerned because I don't have crazy butterflies. I'm not like "Omg, I'm crazy about him." I know that can be hard to find, and I haven't had a lot of success with dating in the past, so I do really appreciate that he seems genuine and I do enjoy talking with him. Do you think this can be normal when dating someone new? I think I need to hangout with him more, thoughts?
So this past week I signed up for OkCupid, I'm sure you guys heard of it. In my opinion it has more people interested in relationships than Tinder does. Anyway, I met up and got lunch with a guy on this past Thursday and we hung out again on Saturday & Sunday. On Saturday I went to his house and slept over because his parents we're out of town. We ended up sleeping together, it was a little sooner than I wanted but was still fun.
Anyway, right now I can't exactly tell how I feel about him. Firstly, I know he really likes me. He told me on Saturday night how much he likes me so far and that he wants to continue dating. He's an extremely nice guy, is very family oriented, went to college, loves animals, and is just overall very genuine from what I gathered so far. I can tell he's looking for a girl in his life to be with him and be his girlfriend, he's been single for about a year now. I do like his personality so far. He's also physically attractive, but he's not usually the type of guy I go for.
I do want to see him again, but I can't tell if I should be concerned because I don't have crazy butterflies. I'm not like "Omg, I'm crazy about him." I know that can be hard to find, and I haven't had a lot of success with dating in the past, so I do really appreciate that he seems genuine and I do enjoy talking with him. Do you think this can be normal when dating someone new? I think I need to hangout with him more, thoughts?
I think you are in way over your head.
WTF are you doing?? You were JUST on here last week almost suicidal about the last guy who was "your first" but went cold, and now you slept with a guy you just met online?
WTF are you doing?? You were JUST on here last week almost suicidal about the last guy who was "your first" but went cold, and now you slept with a guy you just met online?
How's therapy going?
I'm fine. I'm not asking for an evaluation on my current mental state, I'm asking for advice on this new person. I'm 100% not suicidal, I was exaggerating big time. I feel wonderful that he's not in my life anymore, I'm 100% over that loser. I don't even want to talk about him ever again, it's a waste of my time and thoughts. I have my parents as a support team and they got me through it. Absolutely over/past him
WTF are you doing?? You were JUST on here last week almost suicidal about the last guy who was "your first" but went cold, and now you slept with a guy you just met online?
How's therapy going?
Have to agree here.
In any case, I would say play it by ear and don't expect much now. By that, I mean don't start thinking this guy will be your husband, or that you're even exclusive right now. It's only been a few dates, and he may still have his profile up and will go meet some other women. In the "Getting to know you" phase, some people will still date multiple people and get a feel of different options before they decide whom they want to try exclusive relationships with.
As one guy said to his lady when she find out about his other women.
Quote:
"I am a one woman man, but I am still searching for the one woman."
So if you're ok with that, then you're good. I just know some people care about sexual exclusivity.
You say you know he's looking for something serious. Did he tell you that? Or are you assuming? Just like you assumed the last guy would be serious with you? And even if he is looking for something serious, doesn't have to mean he'll get serious with you.
So I don't think it's wrong you aren't having butterflies over the sex. I do think you need to avoid getting too in over your head, and assuming he automatically may want what you want, unless he told you that. So try not to read too much into anything he says right now, because it's still really early, and you still don't really know him yet. So play it by ear, and treat it casually right now. And get more of a feel on him. Then if your feelings grow, talk to him about where the relationship stands and about exclusivity.
In any case, I would say play it by ear and don't expect much now. By that, I mean don't start thinking this guy will be your husband, or that you're even exclusive right now. It's only been a few dates, and he may still have his profile up and will go meet some other women. In the "Getting to know you" phase, some people will still date multiple people and get a feel of different options before they decide whom they want to try exclusive relationships with.
As one guy said to his lady when she find out about his other women.
So if you're ok with that, then you're good. I just know some people care about sexual exclusivity.
You say you know he's looking for something serious. Did he tell you that? Or are you assuming? Just like you assumed the last guy would be serious with you? And even if he is looking for something serious, doesn't have to mean he'll get serious with you.
So I don't think it's wrong you are having butterflies over the sex. I do think you need to avoid getting too in over your head, and assuming he automatically may want what you want. So try not to read too much into anything he says right now, because it's still really early, and you still don't really know him yet. SO play it by ear, and treat it casually right now. And get more of a feel on him. Then if your feelings grow, talk to him about where the relationship stands and about exclusivity.
No I made sure that the first serious discussion we had was a discussion on what we both want. I learned my lesson from last time. So yes, we do both want a relationship. Not necessarily each other, but you get the idea.
And yeah I actually don't have butterflies even after the sex, so I actually surprised myself. I honestly think he likes me more than I like him right now. He is very interested and wants to keep hanging out. He wants to visit me at school in two weeks and have me meet one of his friends who lives in Newport. (He lives in CT, I go to school in RI)
I'm fine. I'm not asking for an evaluation on my current mental state, I'm asking for advice on this new person. I'm 100% not suicidal, I was exaggerating big time. I feel wonderful that he's not in my life anymore, I'm 100% over that loser. I don't even want to talk about him ever again, it's a waste of my time and thoughts. I have my parents as a support team and they got me through it. Absolutely over/past him
Oh, OK. You were "exaggerating big time." About wanting to kill yourself. How mature. That really makes me want to spend my time advising you on your very typical "love" life. I mean, why should anyone here trust anything you say and waste their time guessing about some guy we don't know???
You don't know how you feel because you 1) don't know him, and 2) don't know yourself. But my advice is would be wasted, I can tell. It has been already. So I will say good luck and good bye.
Oh, OK. You were exaggerating big time. About wanting to kill yourself. How mature. That really makes me want to spend my time advising you on your very typical "love" life. I mean, why should anyone here trust anything you say and waste their time guessing about some guy we don't know???
My advice is would be wasted, I can tell. It has been already. So I will say good luck and good bye.
People say things they don't mean. I would never harm myself over losing a man.
Edit: Your advice from the beginning was to get therapy and I whole heartedly don't think I need therapy and neither does my family. I appreciate the recommendation but you don't know my life at all from those postings of me being sad over a guy.
Last edited by alaskandaisy; 03-23-2015 at 06:58 AM..
Chances are you don't have butterflies because by your account he is nice, stable, and available. You got butterflies with someone who you had to chase and who posed a challenge.
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