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Old 03-23-2015, 03:00 PM
 
765 posts, read 982,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
ha ha....that's totally me. Quid pro quo. I know, I know. Pouting and becoming unaffectionate after getting denied definitely doesn't help the situation at all.
My wife knows that if I'm rubbing, I'm hoping! I need to start rubbing and probably tell her right away, "I'm not doing this to get some booty tonight, so just relax and enjoy". Heck, that might even turn her on!
Im affectionate and loving too here however i ***** and complain like crazy if i had a wife that denied me like this
I need love and affectionate from my girlfriend
If i had to beg for it or force it I am sure dating the WRONG girl
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Old 03-23-2015, 03:03 PM
 
4,006 posts, read 6,012,865 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Professional View Post
Im affectionate and loving too here however i ***** and complain like crazy if i had a wife that denied me like this
I need love and affectionate from my girlfriend
If i had to beg for it or force it I am sure dating the WRONG girl
But, there's a big difference between dating and being married. When dating, it's as simple as dating someone else. When married, unless you're OK with cheating, which I'm not, there are limited alternatives.
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Old 03-23-2015, 03:05 PM
 
765 posts, read 982,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
But, there's a big difference between dating and being married. When dating, it's as simple as dating someone else. When married, unless you're OK with cheating, which I'm not, there are limited alternatives.
I probably would be complaining a lot to my wife if I was married and not getting the sex love and affectionate I wanted. and I mean everyday thats the only advise I give you OP other than that you are your own good luck.
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Old 03-23-2015, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,083,377 times
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I would say to back off for a bit. Be affectionate and nice to her because you love her - not because you want something from her. When she initiates - let yourself be happy. Show her how thrilled you are. She probably feels a lot of pressure right now - and that's not very conducive to feeling in the mood. And if you are only nice to her when you want something from her, and then punish her when she doesn't give it to you - it's not creating a very good environment for a healthy love life. I'm not saying this is your fault - my husband and I have never had issues in this department and I would be very upset if we did - but if you want to fix this and save your marriage, punishment and blame are only going to exacerbate the problems instead of helping them.
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Old 03-23-2015, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,640 posts, read 34,134,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
My wife knows that if I'm rubbing, I'm hoping! I need to start rubbing and probably tell her right away, "I'm not doing this to get some booty tonight, so just relax and enjoy". Heck, that might even turn her on!
You don't even have to say anything, really. Give her a back rub, kiss her on the neck, and walk away. No expectations, and she may be a bit intrigued.
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Old 03-23-2015, 04:22 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,154,564 times
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Wife low sex drive
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Old 03-23-2015, 04:36 PM
 
914 posts, read 762,330 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
Been married 12 yrs, I'm mid 40's, she's early 40's. 3 kids under 10. We used to have a pretty good sex life, it was spontaneous, we did things to/for eachother, etc. but that's all gone way down hill.
Now, it's work for her to have sex and usually, she makes it seem like she just wants me to get on and get it over with. I have to initiate it 100% of the time and I only have about a 20% success rate when I want to have sex. We probably have it 3x month or so.
She recently tested low for testosterone but she also uses the excuse of how little sex some of our other married friends have (which I don't give a crap about how good or bad our friends sex lives are, I care about mine) so she sort of uses that as her justification.
Guys, you in a similar situation? Did you get it to improve?
Ladies, are you like my wife? What's the deal?
This is the first thing that stood out to me, bro. She is probably worn the hll out! You guys gotta get away from those little ones. Drop them off at a responsible relative's home and go on an awesome romantic vacation. You do that and you will probably see her frisky side return fairly quick. Plan it, Book it, and don't over look it!
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Old 03-23-2015, 05:05 PM
 
6,720 posts, read 8,341,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
ha ha....that's totally me. Quid pro quo. I know, I know. Pouting and becoming unaffectionate after getting denied definitely doesn't help the situation at all.
My wife knows that if I'm rubbing, I'm hoping! I need to start rubbing and probably tell her right away, "I'm not doing this to get some booty tonight, so just relax and enjoy". Heck, that might even turn her on!
Exactly! hope it goes well. my husband and I decided to have relations everyday for a month, after a two week break. We did nice things for each other and reconnected in the two weeks emotionally. It was a great experiment. ( we've been together two decades)
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Old 03-23-2015, 05:15 PM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,212,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
ha ha....that's totally me. Quid pro quo. I know, I know. Pouting and becoming unaffectionate after getting denied definitely doesn't help the situation at all.
My wife knows that if I'm rubbing, I'm hoping! I need to start rubbing and probably tell her right away, "I'm not doing this to get some booty tonight, so just relax and enjoy". Heck, that might even turn her on!
Yep, trying to be affectionate and rubby-dubby as a way to get sex gets old and sort of annoying pretty quickly. Yes, back rubs and affection can be done with no expectations, although I'll admit from personal experience that won't usually work to get me going, I'll enjoy it but I'm more likely to relax and fall asleep after Instead, if you ARE trying to initiate, try being a bit bolder and more spontaneous as I've said before, when she's not expecting it. Maybe as she's coming out of the shower, grab her and push her up against the wall with a kiss and tell her how good she looks, make it really passionate and don't be afraid to use a dirty word or two And then based on her response, either walk away or...continue, lol But don't sulk or grovel. I won't speak for all women but I personally find it really hot to feel that he wants me so much this very second that i may not even have a choice in the matter Don't want to violate the pg-13 guidelines here, but...there's a reason 50 Shades of Gray was so popular in spite of it being the worst writing I've ever read, lololol Many women like to feel that the man is in control. Think about it
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Old 03-23-2015, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,596,871 times
Reputation: 5445
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

Because to us guys, sex is a physical thing...
To women, it's an emotional thing...

Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-23-2015 at 07:38 PM..
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