Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We have been talking since January...and have been dating since february. Awesome time in person, met up 6 times. Kissing, Hand holding hands....etc
Our last meet was a week ago...seems like we were getting stronger in person...but much more distant away from each other. She no longer initiated, gave me cold answers, ignored some of my texts without explanation, too busy to talk on the phone all of the sudden, one word answers, no longer asking me any questions...felt like she did not want to know more about me...Also a weird "wait for months" to have sex talk. Including saying stuff like "All men are like puppies, that want to hump everything"...lots of baggage from getting cheated on in her last relationship...
I felt like the rebound guy at times, or the guy paying for the previous guy mistakes. The Passion that is usually seen from a girl that really likes me just wasn't there. At one point she even said that I am "too affectionate"...which was a bummer. I kinda want an affectionate girlfriend as well.
We'll what put me over was the fact that we have talked about me letting her know when I was free this week to meet up... So I text her today in the morning to let her know I was free wednesday... her response put me over the Edge! It went like this:
"Hey I'm free wednesday' "
Her: Cool.
At this point, my last text was pretty much a goodbye.
I was expecting a little more excitiment or something at this point. "Cool" felt like an insult.
oh she was shocked.. "Wtf Are You Talking about?"...Etc Etc This Time She Was Magically Writing Paragraphs...
We said goodbye to each other...she deleted me from Facebook later in the night (which shocked me considering she still has the cheating ex as friend).
She came as far as to write a status that said "me shrugs, what comes easy goes easy"...then acts really hurt about it.
I hit her up after that to leave in good terms due to "differences" and felt a little better about it.
But why do I feel guilty even though I knew it was the best decision for me (and even her longterm)?
Maybe she just wasn't much of a texter? It would explain why you felt you two were getting stronger in person. I myself am not huge on texting. When I first get involved with a guy I'll put more effort into texting but after a while it does begin to feel a bit cumbersome, and admittedly I do slow down. Nevertheless, it does seem like you guys had some fundamental differences which might have prevent you guys from evolving into a long term relationship. I think you made the right choice ending it. Your guilt likely stems from the fact that even if it's the right thing to do, it never feels good knowing that your actions may have caused pain/harm to someone else. Just remember if you two aren't compatible its better to have figured that out sooner rather than later. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
You broke up with a girl because she texted back "Cool"?
Perhaps you should take a break from dating.
Not everyone likes to text constantly.
Not everyone is affectionate, especially in public.
Not everyone is available at your beck and call.
Waiting for months to have "the sex talk" is not strange at all and the fact that you expect it sooner makes it appear that is all you are interested in which is probably the reason she said what she did about men and puppies.
We have been talking since January...and have been dating since february. Awesome time in person, met up 6 times. Kissing, Hand holding hands....etc
Our last meet was a week ago...seems like we were getting stronger in person...but much more distant away from each other. She no longer initiated, gave me cold answers, ignored some of my texts without explanation, too busy to talk on the phone all of the sudden, one word answers, no longer asking me any questions...felt like she did not want to know more about me...Also a weird "wait for months" to have sex talk. Including saying stuff like "All men are like puppies, that want to hump everything"...lots of baggage from getting cheated on in her last relationship...
I felt like the rebound guy at times, or the guy paying for the previous guy mistakes. The Passion that is usually seen from a girl that really likes me just wasn't there. At one point she even said that I am "too affectionate"...which was a bummer. I kinda want an affectionate girlfriend as well.
We'll what put me over was the fact that we have talked about me letting her know when I was free this week to meet up... So I text her today in the morning to let her know I was free wednesday... her response put me over the Edge! It went like this:
"Hey I'm free wednesday' "
Her: Cool.
At this point, my last text was pretty much a goodbye.
I was expecting a little more excitiment or something at this point. "Cool" felt like an insult.
oh she was shocked.. "Wtf Are You Talking about?"...Etc Etc This Time She Was Magically Writing Paragraphs...
We said goodbye to each other...she deleted me from Facebook later in the night (which shocked me considering she still has the cheating ex as friend).
She came as far as to write a status that said "me shrugs, what comes easy goes easy"...then acts really hurt about it.
I hit her up after that to leave in good terms due to "differences" and felt a little better about it.
But why do I feel guilty even though I knew it was the best decision for me (and even her longterm)?
She was definitely stringing you along to have you be the "bad guy" and dump her. It is a bummer, however whenever they begin becoming distant like this is is the endless slide that she no longer has interest in you are is likely feeling emotions toward another guy (been there, done that.) You will find somebody that will be a much better fit for you.
Wasn't she away on some trip within the past few weeks? I'd assume she met someone then, but from your previous thread on this topic she was acting distant to begin with. The last thing I'd do is chase her now and literally become the 'puppy' she mentioned. Good riddance, I say.
Maybe she just wasn't much of a texter? It would explain why you felt you two were getting stronger in person. I myself am not huge on texting. When I first get involved with a guy I'll put more effort into texting but after a while it does begin to feel a bit cumbersome, and admittedly I do slow down. Nevertheless, it does seem like you guys had some fundamental differences which might have prevent you guys from evolving into a long term relationship. I think you made the right choice ending it. Your guilt likely stems from the fact that even if it's the right thing to do, it never feels good knowing that your actions may have caused pain/harm to someone else. Just remember if you two aren't compatible its better to have figured that out sooner rather than later. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
The "not much of a texter" would have made sense if she was this way from the beginning. But this wasn't the case! She acted like a person that was really interested in the past...I think the fire went down way too fast. I didn't feel any sort of affection at all....I felt like it was a one sided thing. Me putting 90% of the communication, meet up effort.
It wasn't always like this either! She herself invited me to the first date we ever had. She ins't shy...this girl WILL call me if she really want it to talk to me...this is how she use to be. So she either had me on the side until the guy she really want it came through or I don't know what. Either way...it was making me feel uneasy and felt like the "This isn't gonna work out" speech from her could have come at any time.
We have chemisty...but long term we were not that compatible.
She's christian...I'm atheist. I had to tell her I was agnostic so she would be more accepting...kinda pathetic to be honest.
She smoked weed...I don't smoke weed.
She likes to go to college parties....I'm not really a party guy. (I love to drink...but between friends/family)
Is not one thing that trigger my decision...it was all things combined and my frustration to that "cool" part...she wasn't like this before. She felt like stranger lately. I was not a priority for her at all.
Wasn't she away on some trip within the past few weeks? I'd assume she met someone then, but from your previous thread on this topic she was acting distant to begin with. The last thing I'd do is chase her now and literally become the 'puppy' she mentioned. Good riddance, I say.
You sound like a good guy, you can do better.
Yes she was man.
And yes...I felt exactly like a Puppy near the end.
This is not what I envision a relationship to be like. I've had relationship where the girl is also crazy about me and those feel amazing. Everything comes natural...you don't have to worry whether you're coming off as needy or not or over thinking everything.
I been in a good relationship...I know how it feels when the girl is into you...I don't think this girl was as much into me as I was into her at all.
Maybe in the beginning...but the change was drastic.
In the past, she would say "I'll call you later" and actually do so.
Now, she would say "I'll call you later" and never give an explanation as for why she didn't.
It sounds like she was playing games, and is dumbfounded that you're not into games. Scrape 'er off and safe your efforts for someone more mature.
Thanks you. This is the vibe that I got from her.
She was playing mind games with me and taking me for granted.
She thought I was going to stick to her trying to get the puss* and begging her for attention while she was putting ZERO effort...and was dumbfounded when I got enough and it really hit her.
She must not be use to guys doing this to her.
But yes, I think she was awesome....I wanted something stable...just didn't think I could get that from her.
The "puppy" line is a red flag. That's the kind of thing that women joke about amongst ourselves (in an endearing way), but with the understanding that it's not something we (general "we") throw in a guy's face unless we're trying to mind-f*** and get him to chase us. It's a childish and immature game, and nice girls don't play that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankeesfans
Thanks you. This is the vibe that I got from her.
She was playing mind games with me and taking me for granted.
She thought I was going to stick to her trying to get the puss* and begging her for attention while she was putting ZERO effort...and was dumbfounded when I got enough and it really hit her.
She must not be use to guys doing this to her.
But yes, I think she was awesome....I wanted something stable...just didn't think I could get that from her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"
