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Old 03-24-2015, 05:37 PM
 
3 posts, read 1,954 times
Reputation: 10

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Hi there,

Well there's this guy I like. I first noticed him at my gym, I said 'hi' and he was really nice and from there we started talking for a bit every time we ran into each other (hi how are you? how's your day? etc). I started noticing him staring at me and looking away when caught or acting nervously whenever I was around, sometimes not always. From time to time he would offer advice and would give me a compliment, and well I got interested. I wanted to spent more time with him so I asked him if he could help me practice whatever and he agreed. Then I learned he's the instructors' coach.

I asked him if it was a problem having an one-on-one class and about prices. He said since it was for me, it was for free and no problem at all. From there, he started calling me 'beautiful'.

We've had two more one-on-one classes (his idea) and he didn't charge me as well. I felt kind of bad so I wanted to do something nice for him. I waited for him to finish coaching this girl while I was talking to a friend. When he was done, he looked at me and well, I caught him looking. He immediately looked away and kept walking then he stopped and looked back at me and waved at me in such a clumsy-akwardly way LOL. I gave him a 75% cacao chocolate and he got SUPER happy. He immediately opened and bit it, then asked me how I knew he loved chocolate. He also reassured me I would never ever waste his time, that I could ask him anything any time.

He's really gentle to me and he doesn't treat other girls like he treats me. I ran into him in the park while I was with a friend, he came by and started chatting for a bit before going to work. He even told me a bit about himself, ex military guy.

Sometimes he's really caring and funny, other times I feel like he's guarded. That's what makes me wonder if I'm not imagining things since he hasn't asked for my number or anything like that. A friend of mine told me no one works for free and he's doing that just to spend time with me and that I should ask for his number, but I feel that's pushing a little bit too much. Also I'm scared of making excuses for him, you know?

I don't know, what do you guys suggest?
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,349 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83281
You're already not dating him, so you might as well try.

However ...

It is ALWAYS risky to flirt with someone whose job is sales. And how do you KNOW he doesn't act the same with other girls?

You know him better than we do, but prepare for super awkwardness if he rejects you.
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:51 PM
 
511 posts, read 314,117 times
Reputation: 401
Better to try than to not try at all.
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Old 03-24-2015, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Missouri
43 posts, read 25,317 times
Reputation: 72
What is with you guys? Man you all act like this is some big mystery. Do you think if you tell him you are interested his feelings will be hurt? The worst that happens is he says he is involved with someone or doesn't date people he met at work. My money says he is into you and afraid to approach you because he sort of met you in a work environment.

Damn, I wish my feelings got hurt every day by women telling me they think I am hot. I would tell them I am married, flattered and think they are good looking. I would never be rude and wouldn't leave them feeling embarrassed. I would make sure they knew they made my day. Heck I love it if a woman just says hi to me walking down the street.

Mike's plan:

1. Ask him if he has a wife or LTR.
2. If no, tell him you would like to get to know him better.
3. If he says yes, badabing.
4. If he says no, look for one of the other few billion people on earth.
5. Quit acting like some social booboo is fatal.
6. Quit thinking you are the only one that is hesitant to make a first move.
7. Send Mike a bazillion dollars.
8. Repeat 7 often.

Either way whether he says yes or no, you will know and remember the upside is a lot better than the downside is bad.
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Old 03-24-2015, 07:59 PM
 
32,474 posts, read 26,356,312 times
Reputation: 19121
step up girl and ask him out for coffee or lunch. he is really interested in you, but i think he is a bit afraid to make a move on you. nothing ventured noting gained.
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Old 03-24-2015, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,314 posts, read 1,659,596 times
Reputation: 3586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miquel Westano View Post
What is with you guys? Man you all act like this is some big mystery. Do you think if you tell him you are interested his feelings will be hurt? The worst that happens is he says he is involved with someone or doesn't date people he met at work. My money says he is into you and afraid to approach you because he sort of met you in a work environment.


.
I agree. I was thinking the same thing. Even though he was providing you instruction for free, you were still his "work environment" so he may have felt uncomfortable flirting asking you for your number. If you are interested, just give him your number next time you all talk. That will open the door for him to call you and get to know you outside of his "work environment."
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Old 03-24-2015, 08:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,796 posts, read 70,635,877 times
Reputation: 76772
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miquel Westano View Post
What is with you guys? Man you all act like this is some big mystery. Do you think if you tell him you are interested his feelings will be hurt? The worst that happens is he says he is involved with someone or doesn't date people he met at work. My money says he is into you and afraid to approach you because he sort of met you in a work environment.

Damn, I wish my feelings got hurt every day by women telling me they think I am hot. I would tell them I am married, flattered and think they are good looking. I would never be rude and wouldn't leave them feeling embarrassed. I would make sure they knew they made my day. Heck I love it if a woman just says hi to me walking down the street.

Mike's plan:

1. Ask him if he has a wife or LTR.
2. If no, tell him you would like to get to know him better.
3. If he says yes, badabing.
4. If he says no, look for one of the other few billion people on earth.
5. Quit acting like some social booboo is fatal.
6. Quit thinking you are the only one that is hesitant to make a first move.
7. Send Mike a bazillion dollars.
8. Repeat 7 often.

Either way whether he says yes or no, you will know and remember the upside is a lot better than the downside is bad.
It's so simple an obvious when Mike puts it that way!

Mike, you need to stick around. There are a lot of people who could use your easy-breezy 8-step method.

And for the OP's sake, I'm hoping she gets to "badabing".
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Old 03-24-2015, 09:08 PM
 
114 posts, read 192,909 times
Reputation: 96
At the very least, he will be flattered.
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Old 03-24-2015, 11:27 PM
 
324 posts, read 322,184 times
Reputation: 631
He's being super respectful of you and his livelihood. I say go for it, OP.

That guy Mike above has some good suggestions on to how to proceed. Let us know how it goes!
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Old 03-25-2015, 02:01 AM
 
3 posts, read 1,954 times
Reputation: 10
Ahaha !
Thank you all for your advice. I really needed some unbiased point of view, 'good' and 'bad'.
I think both sides are correct. Still, he's the instructors' coach so either he can be interested in me or interested in his job and that's why he's being super nice.

I know he doesn't treat other girls like he treats me because I've seen it and it doesn't come close. When I'm working out and he's around, he pays attention only to what I'm doing. Then he waits to be near me and gives me advice in such a weird way because he doesn't call my name but he comes near me until I notice he's beside me and then he corrects me. He doesn't do that with anyone else and I'm not the only one noticing that now. Maybe we've become somehow friends?

And today when I finished my workout, I approached him because I intended to make my super move. He was surprised for some reason to see me there although he was alone doodling. 'What's up beautiful!? How are you? What did you do? How did it go? How much weight did you use? tell me'. I honestly felt like a child as he threw me for a loop blurting out so many questions I just made some dumb joke, laughed and left.

YEY.
Lame.

Hum...I do have my doubts you know? but I think I'm gonna go ask him. What's there to lose? But I'm not going to ask him out on a date, I think that's way too aggressive. I'll think a more subtle approach to try it thursday just to put an end to my wondering.

I'll keep you posted if you want ! Make some bets
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