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Old 03-24-2015, 10:47 PM
 
74 posts, read 67,058 times
Reputation: 131

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanaguy04 View Post
So I was messaged by a woman that said she found me attractive but after reading my criteria on my profile she wasn't so sure after that. I reread my profile to see if I missed something in there but the only criteria I listed was age range of 21-35, fitness minded females since I am a fitness minded male, and no kids since I don't have kids. I am 35. This is what she wrote me.

It isn't like I made a huge list that I see on women's profiles.

Actually contrary to popular belief women are far more picky than men. If you don't believe me google it. Sadly there are more women in the world than men. In a state like Rhode Island there are 10 women for every 1 man. Boston and NYC also have more women than men. Yet these women do not realize this, or just do not care.

So women are more picky than men. I have seen it several times just from observation. Women also complain how there are not any good men, yet when there is a guy who is interested in them, they are not interested in him and find excuses to not get involved with him.

As far as online dating, it can be worse than talking to strangers in real life as you are just a picture (online dating is people shopping) women are even picky with online dating as well.

Now aside from that not all women are like this, and there are some women who do give the nice guy a chance. I think in your 20s and 30s people tend to just be more picky (although they are more open minded from ages 18-22 oddly). I think women who are older are just more friendly and even if they are not interested they are still nice.

As for your age range 21-24 might be too immature for you as they are just at different stages and mindset in their life. I'd recommend bringing the age up to 25 or higher.
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Old 03-24-2015, 10:53 PM
 
1,523 posts, read 1,656,871 times
Reputation: 2640
Idk, but I feel that when people tell someone that their expectations are too high, it is because they do not and cannot meet them.
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Old 03-24-2015, 10:59 PM
 
1,047 posts, read 649,795 times
Reputation: 3154
That's completely weird. Back when I was on OLD if I saw a profile that triggered a negative response, I would never just randomly message the guy to criticize him. I would just move on to the next one. Why engage in conversation with a complete stranger just to point out what she sees as your faults? What a weirdo.

That being said, I think the others here have given you some good feedback on how to tweak your profile a bit.
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Old 03-24-2015, 11:05 PM
 
8,700 posts, read 5,062,944 times
Reputation: 9832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanaguy04 View Post
Here are the relevant parts.
You have a good profile, there's nothing unreasonable in it. I think she's just miffed because you caught her interest but she saw she isn't what you are looking for.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to date women with no kids. It's what you want, so why compromise? Above all else, to thine own self be true.
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Old 03-24-2015, 11:55 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,199,418 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montanaguy04 View Post
Maybe she is upset that I am a match for her but she is not a match for me. If she was of child bearing age and didn't have kids she probably would be. I'm never mean to women that message me. Meanest thing I'll do is ignore them like women ignore me.
Actually at 41 she is considered child bearing age.

Do I think you are un realistic? Depends. You are 35 so an age range of 21-35 is the question. If you are leaning towards the lower range then yes you are unrealistic probably. If you lean towards the 35 year olds then no. If you are in shape and childless and seek the same nope not unrealistic.

BTW, I too am childless and always got comments like that for dads hurt I wouldn't date them. There are still lots of childless people.
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Old 03-25-2015, 12:00 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,199,418 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace_TX View Post
i read this multiple times

perhaps i should read it out loud... my comprehension isnt working for some reason
I often got from dads that them having kids makes them great dads. No, it just means they had sex _(unless they adopted)and the relationship failed (unless widowed). I know plenty of rotten parents and many deadbeat parents.
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Old 03-25-2015, 12:03 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,464,529 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I think it's different. If I didn't fit someone's criteria, I still might have a chance if I put my best foot forward but I definitely wouldn't have a chance if I acted like a lunatic. On the forum - nothing really makes a difference. You can agree with someone or disagree with someone - at the end of the day, none of it matters. With OLD, you are looking for a relationship or a date or marriage - so there's something at stake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
This is a forum for discussion. When I was on OLD I certainly didn't think it appropriate to tell someone what I thought of them, unless it was good.
Aye. Forums are meant for the exchange of ideas. The whole idea is to respond, even if you don't agree, and it's a group thing.

What these folks are doing with their drive-by critiques is like walking up to a perfect stranger on the street and saying, "You shouldn't be wearing that/eating that/talking to that person/standing that way. You should be doing it THIS way, MY way." Ridiculous!
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Old 03-25-2015, 12:09 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,464,529 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jello071 View Post
Actually contrary to popular belief women are far more picky than men. If you don't believe me google it. Sadly there are more women in the world than men. In a state like Rhode Island there are 10 women for every 1 man. Boston and NYC also have more women than men. Yet these women do not realize this, or just do not care.

So women are more picky than men. I have seen it several times just from observation. Women also complain how there are not any good men, yet when there is a guy who is interested in them, they are not interested in him and find excuses to not get involved with him.

As far as online dating, it can be worse than talking to strangers in real life as you are just a picture (online dating is people shopping) women are even picky with online dating as well.
Posts like this crack me up. If a woman doesn't give a lot of men a chance, she's too picky.

But wait, if she gives a lot of guys chances, she's a tramp.

This is why the women in places where women outnumber men don't care. They are progressive enough to do what they want, but they also know that no matter what, it's damned if they do, damned if they don't, so they might as well just do what makes them happy.

Besides, you can't force attraction. The heart wants what the heart wants.

*cue up speech about nice guys who really aren't*
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Old 03-25-2015, 12:14 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,199,418 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
I wonder what makes people write nasty messages though. I mean, if I was doing OLD and I saw someone I was interested in but I didn't fit their preferences, I might write to them anyway. BUT I would write to them and say that I knew that I didn't fit their preferences but that I was interested in them. And if they wanted to give me a chance - great! If not - I'd move on. But I wouldn't write a nasty message.
When I got rejected, I didn't send them a message asking why unless we had been talking. Usually it was because they met someone else or realized we weren't a match. I wished them well. The other times I figured we weren't a match. I never contacted anyone to tell them they were unrealistic except an ex boyfriend who was unrealistic and lied to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Your experience is the male equivalent of what I Don't Date You got when she had a profile on OLD. She specified she wasn't looking for dads, but dads would contact her, and when she pointed out her main specification, they'd get angry at her.

Maybe for Montana, she's right; maybe you'll have trouble finding single women with no kids at that age. Geography does play a role in these things. I still think that if your business still takes you to CA occasionally, you should try to date there.

Didn't you say last year some time that you were almost 40, or had just turned 40?
Yeah the amount of nasty responses I got frustrated me. I got so many nasty messages including threats and so called advice. I had guys saying they planned to wait until I changed my mind. I had guys complain to the dating sites because I refused to date them. I suspect these men know they are failures (not all parents are, but these complainers are)and get someone like me because they are losers. I know a lot if single parents and a few used online and most are in relationships. These people weren't the ones complaining or contacted people like me.
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Old 03-25-2015, 03:56 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
870 posts, read 1,961,993 times
Reputation: 939
Um in the past you've said you were 39... You posted your old match.com profile which said 39 when you had that terrible picture where you looked like the karate kid who needed a haircut (plus that picture is getting old, you took it in 2011).

Last edited by ncsualum2004; 03-25-2015 at 04:07 AM..
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