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Old 03-30-2015, 05:05 PM
 
1,325 posts, read 1,663,792 times
Reputation: 1057

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So update here.

I stayed at my place last week. When I went back to bf's place, I told him I will not move in 100% and I don't like living out of boxes and I don't want to be a guest in his house forever. I want to feel HOME, I want to bring friends over and don't feel weird about it and I want to have stuff the way I like it.

He said he feels bad about it and had no clue that I don't feel home at his house. We agreed to reconsider our living situation in a year (aka moving together into a new place). Until then I can change things in his house to make myself more comfy there (I took down that darn fish pic in the living room), I brought over my nice dishes and other kitchen stuff and took his old stuff into my house. He said he would tear out the carpet and put wood into the whole house but I declined. He now consciously says "OUR HOUSE" and we have a good laugh every time. And he gave me two rooms where I can spread my stuff and use dressers.

Sounds like a happy ending.
Communication is key. I just had to speak up CLEARLY because he didn't get my hints before.
i missed this reply in my prior post, gut i'm glad you go that straightened out. good luck!
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Old 03-30-2015, 05:44 PM
 
25,847 posts, read 32,844,936 times
Reputation: 31840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
Yes its a 10*6 bedroom. I took this photo from the longer corner. Take a look yourself:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/membe...018-235229.jpg

Eve, I'm happy everything ended well .
A standard single bed is 3 feet wide and 6 feet 3 inches long. Measure it again.
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Old 03-30-2015, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,121,220 times
Reputation: 6316
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Add a kitchenette and a tiny bathroom where stuff falls down if you turn around too fast, and it looks like my first studio apartment. I lifted my bed up (put mattress on posts) and put tons of boxes underneath for storage.

Thanks Adi for the good wishes.
My apartment is a suite setup with 4 individual bedrooms. I live with 3 other Indian guys.

Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 03-30-2015 at 07:46 PM..
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:01 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,051,684 times
Reputation: 62030
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So I am sort of living at my bf's house since the day we met.

3,5 months ago .. yeah, I know ...

We made the decision that I rent out some furnished rooms in my house, about 10 minutes away. Still keeping one foot in it, just in case.

So most of my personal stuff is now at my bf's house. He gave me a room where I put all my belongings. The furniture and dishes and stuff is still at my house and stays there for now.


Am I wrong to expect to move into a completely new place in the next 1-2 years so it is all OUR stuff and not all his?

I moved into a man cave, his pics on the walls, his manly bed sheets, his decoration, motorcycle in the living room. Fine with me, but the house just doesn't feel like HOME to me. I feel like a guest and this will not change until we move somewhere else.

I want a fresh start where I can decorate and feel like it is OUR place. Where I have a couch that WE like. Pics on the walls we both like.

He keeps repeating it is OUR place but then every now and then he let's me feel it isn't mine and when I say something his answer is "well, I bought it, I pay for it, so of course it is mine. But it is OUR home."

Recently he had the fridge open for a while and I shut it to keep the cold in. He said something about it being his house and I shouldn't do that.


Our agreement was that I live there for free but pay half of the utilities and food.
If I were you I would move back to my own place and take all of my belongings with me.
He doesn't want you in "his house" and he as much told you that when he said something about you closing the fridge door.
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:03 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,119,545 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
you guys are right.

He was pushing me to completely move in and rent out my house.

I only want to rent out a few rooms in my house so I can keep my "pad" and I will stick to it.

This is my first HEALTHY relationship with a NICE guy but not a pushover and I want to do it all right.
This is not a healthy relationship...you are taking a back seat to a motorcycle. It may the best you've experienced so far....but that doesn't make it healthy.
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:08 PM
 
1,325 posts, read 1,663,792 times
Reputation: 1057
yeah eve, dump the guy and lets get you back on the market. your soulmate would never do that!
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,121,220 times
Reputation: 6316
^^^^^^

Guys, just an FYI. Everything has been settled peacefully. Case dismissed.
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Old 03-30-2015, 08:24 PM
 
3,947 posts, read 4,118,499 times
Reputation: 4711
Perhaps it's his personality and style you're slowly learning more about. My ex was a "manly man" (not my cup of tea), but he was open to suggestions and I didn't move in.

Some people are more open-minded and open to suggestions when they respect others' opinions. This person sounds a bit strong-headed and alpha-y.
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:14 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,119,545 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
^^^^^^

Guys, just an FYI. Everything has been settled peacefully. Case dismissed.
Yeah....right. it's not.....dude was about to lose the extra cash and pushover girlfriend...he hasn't done anything but let her move a pucture. Maybe over as far as this thread goes.....but they'll be more....
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Old 03-30-2015, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,240 posts, read 1,214,986 times
Reputation: 3979
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So update here.

I stayed at my place last week. When I went back to bf's place, I told him I will not move in 100% and I don't like living out of boxes and I don't want to be a guest in his house forever. I want to feel HOME, I want to bring friends over and don't feel weird about it and I want to have stuff the way I like it.

He said he feels bad about it and had no clue that I don't feel home at his house. We agreed to reconsider our living situation in a year (aka moving together into a new place). Until then I can change things in his house to make myself more comfy there (I took down that darn fish pic in the living room), I brought over my nice dishes and other kitchen stuff and took his old stuff into my house. He said he would tear out the carpet and put wood into the whole house but I declined. He now consciously says "OUR HOUSE" and we have a good laugh every time. And he gave me two rooms where I can spread my stuff and use dressers.

Sounds like a happy ending.
Communication is key. I just had to speak up CLEARLY because he didn't get my hints before.
Hey! My feelings are hurt. Fish are beautiful! **preens**
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