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Old 03-26-2015, 03:15 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100

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So I am sort of living at my bf's house since the day we met.

3,5 months ago .. yeah, I know ...

We made the decision that I rent out some furnished rooms in my house, about 10 minutes away. Still keeping one foot in it, just in case.

So most of my personal stuff is now at my bf's house. He gave me a room where I put all my belongings. The furniture and dishes and stuff is still at my house and stays there for now.


Am I wrong to expect to move into a completely new place in the next 1-2 years so it is all OUR stuff and not all his?

I moved into a man cave, his pics on the walls, his manly bed sheets, his decoration, motorcycle in the living room. Fine with me, but the house just doesn't feel like HOME to me. I feel like a guest and this will not change until we move somewhere else.

I want a fresh start where I can decorate and feel like it is OUR place. Where I have a couch that WE like. Pics on the walls we both like.

He keeps repeating it is OUR place but then every now and then he let's me feel it isn't mine and when I say something his answer is "well, I bought it, I pay for it, so of course it is mine. But it is OUR home."

Recently he had the fridge open for a while and I shut it to keep the cold in. He said something about it being his house and I shouldn't do that.


Our agreement was that I live there for free but pay half of the utilities and food.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:23 PM
 
3,201 posts, read 3,553,279 times
Reputation: 4407
sounds like a manly man

motorcycle in the living room... thats some man shhh right there
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:24 PM
 
3,050 posts, read 2,632,031 times
Reputation: 3959
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
So I am sort of living at my bf's house since the day we met.

3,5 months ago .. yeah, I know ...

We made the decision that I rent out some furnished rooms in my house, about 10 minutes away. Still keeping one foot in it, just in case.

So most of my personal stuff is now at my bf's house. He gave me a room where I put all my belongings. The furniture and dishes and stuff is still at my house and stays there for now.


Am I wrong to expect to move into a completely new place in the next 1-2 years so it is all OUR stuff and not all his?

I moved into a man cave, his pics on the walls, his manly bed sheets, his decoration, motorcycle in the living room. Fine with me, but the house just doesn't feel like HOME to me. I feel like a guest and this will not change until we move somewhere else.

I want a fresh start where I can decorate and feel like it is OUR place. Where I have a couch that WE like. Pics on the walls we both like.

He keeps repeating it is OUR place but then every now and then he let's me feel it isn't mine and when I say something his answer is "well, I bought it, I pay for it, so of course it is mine. But it is OUR home."

Recently he had the fridge open for a while and I shut it to keep the cold in. He said something about it being his house and I shouldn't do that.


Our agreement was that I live there for free but pay half of the utilities and food.
Wow. When I moved in with my ex, I redecorated the entire place with the exception of the spare bedroom, because his sister was living in it at the time.

I don't understand why you decided to move in so fast. It already sounds like there is friction.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:26 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace_TX View Post
sounds like a manly man

motorcycle in the living room... thats some man shhh right there
I love it. But I don't love the weird huge fish picture on the wall
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:28 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCountyLiving View Post
Wow. When I moved in with my ex, I redecorated the entire place with the exception of the spare bedroom, because his sister was living in it at the time.

I don't understand why you decided to move in so fast. It already sounds like there is friction.
We wanted to take it slow but then ended up texting 24/7 when not together. So we saw each other every day. I had to go home every day to get new clothes. More and more stuff ended up at his house (it is nicer and bigger as mine) and then he said "hey, you pay mortgage for an empty house, might as well rent it out or at least some rooms."

I would NEVER decorate his complete place but some adjustments would be nice. I don't like the manly bed sheets, I hate checkered stuff. I don't like antique furniture, dark curtains, I am all about MODERN, bright and SLEEK. Less is more. HIs house is just not "me" and never will be.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100
also, it would feel weird to bring my friends to HIS place. A friend is coming to visit from VA in a few weeks and I don't even want to ask him if she can stay in the guest room. It just doesn't feel right.

If we would move somewhere else, it would be different.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:33 PM
 
3,050 posts, read 2,632,031 times
Reputation: 3959
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
We wanted to take it slow but then ended up texting 24/7 when not together. So we saw each other every day. I had to go home every day to get new clothes. More and more stuff ended up at his house (it is nicer and bigger as mine) and then he said "hey, you pay mortgage for an empty house, might as well rent it out or at least some rooms."

I would NEVER decorate his complete place but some adjustments would be nice. I don't like the manly bed sheets, I hate checkered stuff. I don't like antique furniture, dark curtains, I am all about MODERN, bright and SLEEK. Less is more. HIs house is just not "me" and never will be.
So ask him if you can add some personal touches.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,625 posts, read 12,128,965 times
Reputation: 25940
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace_TX View Post
sounds like a manly man

motorcycle in the living room... thats some man shhh right there
with transmission and carburetor parts in the sink; manly.

Eve, tell him "if its truly our place, make feel like it is"
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100
I told him his kitchen is too crowded, too much stuff on the countertops. All neatly sorted but no space for cooking and preparing. He agreed and we cleaned it all up.

Then he couldn't find his stuff anymore or forgot to take his supplements and WHOPS, everything back on the countertops again

I tried to put the cool motorcycle pic from the bedroom to the living room but he didn't think it looks good there

I removed his racing trophys from the fireplace and now feel bad about it because he really earned them.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:38 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
15,927 posts, read 12,709,689 times
Reputation: 31100
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
with transmission and carburetor parts in the sink; manly.

Eve, tell him "if its truly our place, make feel like it is"
He ran out of space in the hallway, so he keeps rotating his 5 bikes and currently the green one is in the living room. Doesn't smell at all.
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