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Old 03-28-2015, 04:27 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 2,312,076 times
Reputation: 5973

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Okay. One of the most annoying things in my life I have had to deal with just happened again.

I was out on one of my long walks and was coming up the trail behind my complex, 100 yards from home and coming down the trail was a woman about my age with her little ankle biter, out for a walk like me. The dog was choking itself trying to come over and say hi but the woman was not so game. She was all but walking through mud to keep her distance. I've seen this woman more than once out walking her dog and whenever I do I will say hello maybe a little small talk. She always seems uneasy.

This encounter is only an example of the reactions some people have to me. I'm not attracted to this woman , DEFINITELY not my type. I was divorced 8 months ago and I'm enjoying being alone right now and don't really want anyone in my life. I do however like to get to know the people around me be it work, home, whatever. I have friends and my daughters in my life.

The problem I have always had is I'm threatening to people. I'm 6' 2" tall, 250 lbs. I have a 58" chest and a 38" waist. I like to keep myself in shape I walk a lot and use weights. I can walk the 5 mile drive at Point Defiance park in Tacoma in less than 90 min with 40 lbs on my back. I'm not gross. Another thing that stands out maybe is I'm bald. I shave my head. I have next to none left so I just shave it all off. People tell me I look like Steve Austin. I have been mistaken for him too.

I just wanted to ask if anyone on this forum has this problem. How do you deal with it?

Too add to this I'm going to be dating sooner or later. I know this affects the women I meet and can talk too. The example above is testament enough for me. I never have been a serial dater, if I find somebody I like I tend to stick by them and not mess around. If I see an adverse reaction from someone (like above) it tends to be a deal breaker on the spot for me.

Input from the ladies would be more than welcome.
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Old 03-28-2015, 04:37 PM
 
Location: on a big rock hurling through space
347 posts, read 327,087 times
Reputation: 485
You sound like a handsome, tough guy to me. However, you don't know this woman's history. She could have been attacked or going through personal things that have absolutely nothing to do with you. You could look like her ex. Maybe it's her personal meditation time on the walk and she has a full day of meetings ahead of her and is enjoying a quiet walk. It also sounds like she's being a responsible dog owner by not letting the "ankle biter" come at you and moving far out of the way. My dog barks and strains the leash at anyone who crosses his path. I will walk off to the side to maintain control of my pooch.

Some chicks are intuitive and you could be throwing off a creeper vibe. I wouldn't take any of it personally. As a fit, attractive female, I'm not every man's type and not everyone woman will be attracted to your type. But there is someone out there for each of us.
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Old 03-28-2015, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Denver and Boston
1,701 posts, read 1,536,607 times
Reputation: 3469
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post

I just wanted to ask if anyone on this forum has this problem. How do you deal with it?
I am not as big as you, but I am big enough to intimidate most women. If it is night or an isolated area, I will hang back and give the woman some extra space, but that is all I feel I am obligated to do, mostly I just live my life and try not to concern myself with other people's issues. But most importantly I try no to take it personally. Maybe she feels threatened by you for no fault of yours, maybe she was assaulted by a man in the past. Another possible reason is that she is in a relationship and does not want to be seen talking with you by her SO. No doubt other reasons also which are beyond your control.
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Old 03-28-2015, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,156 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82886
So you look like a stock bad guy character, and you wonder why people react as if they are threatened by you.

Just like there is something called "resting b*tch face," there is also something called the "innocuous stranger smile." Just relax your face and practice it. Or don't even look their way when you pass people??

You never do know what someone's story is, what has gone on in their life, to make them act a certain way in a certain moment.

As far as dating, just remember that you don't want to be with someone who writes you off as dangerous based only on your appearance anyway.
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Old 03-28-2015, 05:02 PM
 
15,729 posts, read 18,084,211 times
Reputation: 12742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post

I was out on one of my long walks and was coming up the trail behind my complex, 100 yards from home and coming down the trail was a woman about my age with her little ankle biter, out for a walk like me. The dog was choking itself trying to come over and say hi but the woman was not so game. She was all but walking through mud to keep her distance. I've seen this woman more than once out walking her dog and whenever I do I will say hello maybe a little small talk. She always seems uneasy.
I'm sure you can understand her hesitation? You are likely twice her size, she's alone, on a trail and the only thing standing between her and you is her little ankle-biter doggie.

We have some great trails around here, but I would be very hesitant to stop and talk to someone your size as well if I were on a trail alone.

I typically make direct eye-contact, say "hey" and keep on running (or walking). If I have my dog with me, I keep a very large distance between him and any strangers we may encounter. Sometimes he's friendly, but he has also acted out if he feels threatened and I'm not willing to risk that. Maybe her dog is a biter?

In a different setting, I'd speak to anyone and often do.
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Old 03-28-2015, 05:28 PM
 
1,661 posts, read 1,993,473 times
Reputation: 2141
Hit her with a Stone Cold Stunner to say hi and assert your dominance

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Old 03-28-2015, 05:30 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 2,312,076 times
Reputation: 5973
On further thought she was on her phone and the dog wasn't trying to bite me, she has me pegged as the cheeseburger guy because I gave her a piece of one last fall. MyScreen and Sixy bring to light a few things that make me think I might have been reading the situation wrong. She does know me but only in passing or a short conversation.

Quote:
If it is night or an isolated area, I will hang back and give the woman some extra space, but that is all I feel I am obligated to do, mostly I just live my life and try not to concern myself with other people's issues.
I kind of adopted the attitude that they make medicine for paranoia. I really wonder if that's right.

Quote:
As a fit, attractive female,
Do you like to wrestle?
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Old 03-28-2015, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
2,386 posts, read 2,993,014 times
Reputation: 2838
I like to hug your type. You make me feel safe and adequately protected. I fantasize about just hugging and being in the embrace of a 6'5" 270 pound man. Sigh. I wouldnt be afraid.
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Old 03-28-2015, 05:37 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 2,312,076 times
Reputation: 5973
Quote:
I like to hug your type. You make me feel safe and adequately protected. I fantasize about just hugging and being in the embrace of a 6'5" 270 pound man. Sigh. I wouldnt be afraid.
Do you like to wrestle?
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Old 03-28-2015, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
2,386 posts, read 2,993,014 times
Reputation: 2838
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
Do you like to wrestle?
Not at all.
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