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I hope that by the time he were to love me and the relationship gets deeper, I'm no longer just average looking to him but the one. Just don't directly tell this to a gf ever. If she's just average looking, keep this information to yourself.
I wouldn't handle this too well if a bf told me that.
Do you tell your bf how hot and attractive he is? Of he is fine without those compliments?
We are programmed a certain way and we just react. We either are attracted to something or not. And others tell us: I am attracted to this, so you should be also. Or - I can overlook this, so you should also. But it doesn't work that way. If layers of fat turn my stomach. I can't just tell myself: ok, I will like layers of fat now...
I can overlook the fat in a friendship type of interaction (because the "attractiveness" factor is not a requirement there). But I can't make myself be attracted to that which does not attract me.
Yes, it's possible to develop an attraction later, but we never know if it will happen. It's all a guessing game.
And, even though we are conscious beings, we ARE parts of some mechanism (figuratively speaking). And as such, we either fit or don't fit with certain other parts. So should a chair arm be offended when another chair says: you don't fit me, I am too different? No. But if the chair arm was conscious, it would become offended and feel rejected.
So in order not to feel rejected, we start to tell ourselves that all match with all and everyone can match anyone else. But in reality, some fit and some don't. So we do need to evaluate: does this piece fit my piece or not?
Or we can just blindly start interacting with ANY person without any evaluation and "numbers" and just go from one relationship to another because for some mysterious reason it did not work. Turns out, there IS such a thing as a good fit and a bad fit. Turns out the numbers are necessary.
The only thing: we don't really know what we need (in order for things to work). So we end up making really bad guesses.
I really want to know who fits me, what looks and personality? I don't seem to know. Just because I am attracted to certain ones it doesn't mean that I could build a life with them. So I wonder what that mysterious combination is for me personally: what type of a person could I be attracted to AND be able to build something together? I was watching Carrie and Big from Sex and the City. They were attracted to each other, and they cared about each other, but they were bored with each other in daily life. They couldn't build anything together. So obviously they were not soulmates...although it may have seemed so at some point.
Last edited by LoveWisdom; 04-01-2015 at 01:50 PM..
Do you tell your bf how hot and attractive he is? Of he is fine without those compliments?
I'm single and have been for the longest. In my past relationship, I was attracted to both his personality and looks. For me, he was the one at the time. I didn't think for a second that he was ''just an average 5 in looks''. I really thought he was good looking.
If I really like a guy at the beginning, then I don't see him as a 5-6 in my eyes but higher. Over time, if I then love him...he becomes a 10 but in the beginning he was already good looking to me.
Cute.
Brunette.
Long hair.
Good personality.
Sweet.
Caring.
Nurturing.
Down to earth.
Feminine.
Seeeeeeeeeeeeeensual.
Puts effort into her man.
Short: 5'0" to 5'4" is preferred.
Type of intelligence: social intelligence (the hardest type to find).
Sense of humor/not a stiff, but not immature.
Responsible.
Working toward something.
Is her own person/unique in some way. Hard for me to define what I mean by that.
Style/clothing: I can dig a girl with some fashion sense, but I'd go for the girl next door, feminine-but-casual look with without a lot of make-up. A natural beauty.
Bonus: a great rack, and maybe some other things that I'm not going to post on a public forum.
Don't care about: number of degrees, having interests in common, same schedules, or distance. Those are generic, trivial barriers that humans impose upon their relationships for some reason.
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What do you look for in a woman...?
