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Old 04-07-2015, 06:28 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,458 posts, read 11,124,274 times
Reputation: 7783

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Been with my GF for eight months and the pros def outweigh the cons.
She has been with a total of one person since we have been together and is bisexual. And I have been with a total of two girls/women.

I can understand a much greater issue if you are seeing many people. But thats not the case with us.
It gives variety and freedom. Until the day I commit fully to her, If indend I do. Then of course this would cease.

This is the best relationship I have ever been in. Enlighten me why this is not more common. Esp given the circumstances of our relationship, which is not that uncommon.

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Old 04-07-2015, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Canada
8,695 posts, read 7,768,401 times
Reputation: 17911
I don't think it has much to do with open relationships, but rather that you two are on the same page when it comes to your views.
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Old 04-07-2015, 06:38 AM
 
750 posts, read 456,385 times
Reputation: 579
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz View Post
Been with my GF for eight months and the pros def outweigh the cons.
She has been with a total of one person since we have been together and is bisexual. And I have been with a total of two girls/women.

I can understand a much greater issue if you are seeing many people. But thats not the case with us.
It gives variety and freedom. Until the day I commit fully to her, If indend I do. Then of course this would cease.

This is the best relationship I have ever been in. Enlighten me why this is not more common. Esp given the circumstances of our relationship, which is not that uncommon.

Um I do not (and im sure most men would not) want my gf banging other dudes while we are together.
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Old 04-07-2015, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
Reputation: 66975
Before marriage, you're not really together and can do what you want, but I don't see how you are moving towards committed monogamy with what you are doing.
I mean, why even call her your gf?
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Old 04-07-2015, 06:50 AM
 
33 posts, read 38,432 times
Reputation: 26
I do,,
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Old 04-07-2015, 06:51 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
8,652 posts, read 4,783,711 times
Reputation: 14011
Personally, I value exclusivity, but if it works for both of you then rock on.
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Old 04-07-2015, 06:55 AM
 
81 posts, read 61,553 times
Reputation: 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Before marriage, you're not really together and can do what you want, but I don't see how you are moving towards committed monogamy with what you are doing.
I mean, why even call her your gf?
If you are in a committed relationship, banging other people should not be part of it. If you want to bang other people, be single and do so

I do not get this mentality. As far as what I can see, open relationships are a last ditch effort by people in failing relationships to try to salvage it. Ultimately it fails.
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Old 04-07-2015, 07:15 AM
 
11,387 posts, read 12,656,678 times
Reputation: 12414
Open relationship to me means there's the door.
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Old 04-07-2015, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Earth
4,549 posts, read 3,501,073 times
Reputation: 6858
Just a difference of views. Me personally, I wouldn't want to be with a man I had to share-for lack of a better word. If I am sleeping with a guy and romantically interested, then I wouldn't feel comfortable or happy knowing that when not with me, he's sleeping around with 5-50 other women.

This is in the relationship stage of course. In the "getting to know you" where it's just a few dates and no exclusivity has been established or discussed, then dating around seems fine. But once the talk has happened and official bf/gf status has happened, I want monogamy, even if we aren't married.

Open Relationships don't work for everyone. Personally, I get jealous. If I am watching a film and have a crush on a guy in said film, I hate when he gets a love interest. So know I am not going to wanna "share" a partner. lol So open for me, means the relationship is already over since he can't be happy with just me, and needs other women. Just wouldn't be a match. So if I found my SO was seeing, or sleeping with other women, or he came to me wanting to start an open relationship, probably grounds for splitting. not to say he's a bad person, but we are not compatible.
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Old 04-07-2015, 07:39 AM
 
Location: NY
8,992 posts, read 14,192,166 times
Reputation: 11330
Why? Couples in relationships tend to feel committed to each other. Part of that commitment that develops is generally loyalty and exclusivity. It is why cheating is such a big deal to most people in relationships.

That doesn't mean an open relationship is wrong for everyone. For the right couple individuals, it can work. I would caution however, that not everyone who enters an open relationship ends up satisfied with it either. It is not all that common where it really works for both people.

If it is for you, then great!
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