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She will give you the dreaded "are you f'n serious?" look then kick you out. When you try and apologize or tell your side, any guy friends there will probably beat you up then roll you out into the street.
I am not a drinker so I doubt a date would have to worry about me getting wasted.
As far as he goes....I'd probably be gone after the first date and he's drunk. All my experiences with people who were drunk were awkward and dangerous. People do some really stupid things when a lot of alcohol is involved. I'm not that type so I wouldn't associate too much with those who drink TOO much.
I met this girl and we went out on a few dates...like 2 dates.
She invites me to a pool party at her place, I bring a couple of beers but she is hammered. Thing was she was drinking wine earlier, before my arrival.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014
I met this girl and we went out on a few dates...like 2 dates.
She invites me to a pool party at her place, I bring a couple of beers but she is hammered. Thing was she was drinking wine earlier, before my arrival.
That incident reminded me of the one with a former flame who was drinking scotch heavily on a meeting.
My question is:
Do you mind if a friend tells you about your drinking? Like telling you as a friend to get easy on the booze? or is it a "no, no".
I mean, I care for my friends, and I will tell her one time and one time alone...hey get easy with the drinking, but often I found out, some women don't like advice.
What do you think?
People that are regular drinkers and enjoy getting blitzed to have fun aren't going to take your advice. You're better off finding other friends that suits your "drinking" personality. Don't bother wasting your time trying to "rescue" her.
I'm a non-drinker (I'm not a bible-thumpin' goody-two-shoes; I just hate the taste of alcohol), but if I had a habit of doing something that offended, annoyed, irked, or bothered someone, I would hope that person would actually have the guts or the b*lls to tell me because to be perfectly honest, although I'm a woman, I'm a huge fan of constructive criticism. I can dish it and I can take it (brrrring it!!). I constructively criticize friends, family, foes, and fools all the time, except I don't call it constructive criticism – I call it "Releasing the Kraken."
As a matter of fact, I recently Released the Kraken on one of my nieces who has a horrible habit of interrupting people who are talking to her. She always tries to finish their sentences for them, as if to say, "I'm not as dumb as you think I am – see how I just finished your thought for you?" I personally find that type of behavior to be extremely rude and annoying because, to me, it means she (my niece) is hearing what the person is saying to her, but she's not actively listening to what the person is saying to her. How can you possibly hold an intelligent conversation with someone if you're not actively listening to what the other person is saying to you? But I digress....
I definitely think you should tell your friend that:
1. Her drinking to excess/getting drunk/getting hammered offends, annoys, irks, or bothers you.
2. Her behavior bothers you because______ (give her at least 3 good reasons why it bothers you).
3. Because you value her friendship, you would truly appreciate it if she would at least consider ____ (give her at least 3 suggestions, e.g., discussing a topic both of you are passionate about, trying to find a solution to a problem that's near and dear to her heart, trying to figure out ways to make the world suck just a little bit less, etc.) rather than drinking to excess/getting drunk/getting hammered when she's around you.
I think it's totally rude to be drunk before a date or meeting up with anybody. If we are drinking, I wanna start out on the same level. Like this time I had plans to grab dinner & drinks w/ a pal and he said he already drank 3 beers at home first.. I'm like, really?? Not a date, but none the less, still annoying.. On the other hand, I wouldn't expect someone at a party to wait for me to get there... Buuuut if I'm only 30 minutes late and they're already plastered, yeah that's a problem for me!
I met this girl and we went out on a few dates...like 2 dates.
She invites me to a pool party at her place, I bring a couple of beers but she is hammered. Thing was she was drinking wine earlier, before my arrival.
That incident reminded me of the one with a former flame who was drinking scotch heavily on a meeting.
My question is:
Do you mind if a friend tells you about your drinking? Like telling you as a friend to get easy on the booze? or is it a "no, no".
I mean, I care for my friends, and I will tell her one time and one time alone...hey get easy with the drinking, but often I found out, some women don't like advice.
What do you think?
first question to ask yourself is, if you were in her place and were hammered on a date, would YOU want her to point it out to you? you have to be honest now, because a lot of people would say yes tell them, but when you do tell them they get upset with you for telling them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
If you've only been out on 2 dates, you're not her friend, yet, unless you knew her before you started dating.
It's not really about "women don't like advice". It's very much about the fact that alcoholics don't like to be told what to do.
In any case, this doesn't sound like a good match. Why continue pursuing it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCountyLiving
If she was drinking and having fun at a party, mind your own business.
If it's an ongoing occurrence and this person is your friend, say something.
If it's an ongoing occurrence and you've only been on a few dates, probably best to end it because she may have a problem.
I'm a non-drinker (I'm not a bible-thumpin' goody-two-shoes; I just hate the taste of alcohol), but if I had a habit of doing something that offended, annoyed, irked, or bothered someone, I would hope that person would actually have the guts or the b*lls to tell me because to be perfectly honest, although I'm a woman, I'm a huge fan of constructive criticism. I can dish it and I can take it (brrrring it!!). I constructively criticize friends, family, foes, and fools all the time, except I don't call it constructive criticism – I call it "Releasing the Kraken."
As a matter of fact, I recently Released the Kraken on one of my nieces who has a horrible habit of interrupting people who are talking to her. She always tries to finish their sentences for them, as if to say, "I'm not as dumb as you think I am – see how I just finished your thought for you?" I personally find that type of behavior to be extremely rude and annoying because, to me, it means she (my niece) is hearing what the person is saying to her, but she's not actively listening to what the person is saying to her. How can you possibly hold an intelligent conversation with someone if you're not actively listening to what the other person is saying to you? But I digress....
I definitely think you should tell your friend that:
1. Her drinking to excess/getting drunk/getting hammered offends, annoys, irks, or bothers you.
2. Her behavior bothers you because______ (give her at least 3 good reasons why it bothers you).
3. Because you value her friendship, you would truly appreciate it if she would at least consider ____ (give her at least 3 suggestions, e.g., discussing a topic both of you are passionate about, trying to find a solution to a problem that's near and dear to her heart, trying to figure out ways to make the world suck just a little bit less, etc.) rather than drinking to excess/getting drunk/getting hammered when she's around you.
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