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I feel that when people get married they become one. Therefore, there should be no my money and his/her money but our money. Get joint accounts, you are no longer me but us.
That sounds all warm and fuzzy but, in real life, there are many reasons to keep assets (and income is an asset) separate -
BTW, ever hear of a "pre nuptial" agreement? (the legal term is "ante nuptial" agreement)
I think he liked the controlling aspect more than anything.
Now that is the heart of the issue right there, money for a lot of people is about power and control over another person in a relationship. One odd twist was when I was married he kept trying to ge me to quit my job and be totally financially dependent on him. It was the old "barefoot and pregnant" thing becuase then i was at his mercy, he also made all the decisions about how money was spent. He got furious when I made the decision to get my own income because that meant he could no longer pull the strings. I left the marriage eventually but money was all about control with him.
If you don't know those things about the person, what are you doing getting married?
BTW - I do weddings in Las Vegas - I can guarantee you that some couples getting married have No clue about the other person! Heck, they met them an hour ago!!
What do you guys think about this? Is it a good idea to keep the finances separate? Both have separate accounts for everything but both contribute to a emergency savings?
No I don't believe it is good to keep your finances separate...however, i do believe that each man or woman in a relationship should have an account of his or her own that the other doesn't know about...for extra protection. Too often I've seen one partner or the other clean out the bank account before the other individual knows what's happening and that person is left bone dry.
No I don't believe it is good to keep your finances separate...however, i do believe that each man or woman in a relationship should have an account of his or her own that the other doesn't know about...for extra protection. Too often I've seen one partner or the other clean out the bank account before the other individual knows what's happening and that person is left bone dry.
Let me ask you this:
I have seen situations where one, or both, spouses do what you suggest - and then one dies. The other has no money now.
Maybe he's one of those thinkers? I used to do some of that a few years ago.
Regarding the initial question though, I can't imagine not sharing my finances with my spouse (... where art thou?). I spose I can't elaborate since I have no experience in either possibilities but I just kind of figured that I'd marry someone who I trusted my money with. As in she wouldn't blow her money on shoes and my money on clothes. Ba bum tch.
Exactly right, must think in the future if you want to get ahead of the game.
BTW - I do weddings in Las Vegas - I can guarantee you that some couples getting married have No clue about the other person! Heck, they met them an hour ago!!
Under those circumstances I wouldn't even tell the other person which pocket I kept my wallet in, and I would take off my watch and hide it.
I have seen situations where one, or both, spouses do what you suggest - and then one dies. The other has no money now.
What would you suggest?
IF they were both keeping an account for his or herself (in trust of someone in case of death of course...we know that you should never have your name alone in a bank account, but in trust of ensures your beneficiary gets the money)...now back to what i was saying if they both had an account of his or her own why would one be broke if the other dies?
Keep in mind now that you can always have an account that's in trust of your spouse's name.........he or she just wouldn't know about it in case you need that cash to fall back on.
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