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I can understand your situation and can give you some sound advice.....You could roll around in flour naked, then streak through campus, yelling how much you love him.....you could get behind a hole in a wall, and service his entire list of friends.....you could serenade him from below his bedroom window, in 5 different languages.....however, in truth, you can't do one damn thing to get him back. Another truth, is that your relationship is OVER, and if you are able to get back with him, you will have to start from scratch.
He is the only person who can decide to take you back. I will tell you as a male who has some experience with this.....that once a man enters you, it's pretty tough for a guy to take you back. I know it's hypocritical, but that's the truth...I speak the truth, and I guarantee that your best bet is to move on.....why? Because there was a reason why you cheated.....and all you are trying to do is retrieve your self esteem, because your newest lover "face palmed" you. Only because of that humiliation, are you willing to try to get your ex back....it's sad, just own up to it....girls like you get used like that every day....I'm sorry, I know, I used to do that all the time....its a challenge to get a girl to cheat on their boyfriend, once you do, the challenge disappears, and we move on to the next....no worries, that phase tends to disappear once you hit your late 20's to 30's....Truth!
It's an ugly fact of being low in self esteem, and trying to get it from the wrong places. It's natural to want to feel needed/attracted by a new male...that's the problem, and your weak spot, and it's pretty easy to see. I bet you have had a few experiences with guys who were super charming, but suddenly turned into d&&ks. That always happened after.........
I have been having a lot of issues with my boyfriend of a year and 3 months. He's been emotionally abusive for a year and He's promised to change. But he has never really made the effort to change other things in our relationship such as he's never willing to improve our sex life. I cheated on him three times with the same guy.
I didn't even like the guy. I have always felt insecure about myself and felt sad about my bf not making effort to change. This is no excuse for cheating and I can never forgive myself.
Later on the guy who i cheated with started to develop feelings for me and wanted a relationship. I started to like this guy and the way he said how I should leave my boyfriend cause he is abusive he will never change etc make me question my life and my relationship with my bf. But I never wanted to leave my bf. I love my boyfriend and I can see a future with him. I had sex with this guy three times until my bf found out from our text messages. This affair lasted for 3 weeks.
I feel really really really really sad I just want to kill myself and die. I love my bf to death. Although things weren't working out well in our relatonship but I always had faith. Now I made a terrible terrible mistake and I want to know what I should do to get him back. Please help me!
Read the words you wrote above ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ then ask yourself if you really want to continue to live like this with this man?
I think you would be better off to get away from both of these guys, get your life in order and move on.
The guy chased you away by being emotionally abusive. You said you've had issues in this relationship which I will not assume is a one way street, but both of you had input into the problems.
You run away and have sex with another guy.
You say you still love your boyfriend. Under what grounds based on a rocky relationship since the start.
What are you holding onto to? Is this guy such a keeper that emotional abuse is OK (again though, what have you done to him - two way street)? Are you so insecure that you believe this is the only guy in the world for you? What future do you see?
Sorry, but no one here can really help you. Based solely on a few sentences from a person I know nothing about, move on with your life and start working on your own issues in order to be stronger in the next relationship. We all need to work on ourselves.
Please believe me he did make changes.
My head told me to leave at times but my heart tells me to stay.
Now he's saying how he is disgusted by me and will never ever see me again or love me anymore. I want to make things right. Please help me what to do
Please believe me he did make changes.
My head told me to leave at times but my heart tells me to stay.
Now he's saying how he is disgusted by me and will never ever see me again or love me anymore. I want to make things right. Please help me what to do
He has a right to be disgusted by you. You made that choice when you decided to bang some other dude... sorry. There is no defending that action. And he's not going to take you back, he would be a sucka if he did.
Just out of curiosity, is that other dude still willing to get with you? Move yourself and your kids in with him?
I can't imagine how your boyfriend would ever trust you again after multiple cheating instances, and I also can't imagine why you would want to be back with someone who is abusive, and profess to "love him to death," all the while cheating on him.
Give up the cheating. But also give up the terrible boyfriend. Be on your own, because your judgment in this area is clearly not great.
Not saying that you were right to cheat on him. You were wrong to do that. The right move would have been to dump him. I suggest you walk away from this jerk, pronto, before it escalates into something physical, and then you really have loved him to death.
I have been having a lot of issues with my boyfriend of a year and 3 months. He's been emotionally abusive for a year and He's promised to change. But he has never really made the effort to change other things in our relationship such as he's never willing to improve our sex life. I cheated on him three times with the same guy.
I didn't even like the guy. I have always felt insecure about myself and felt sad about my bf not making effort to change. This is no excuse for cheating and I can never forgive myself.
Later on the guy who i cheated with started to develop feelings for me and wanted a relationship. I started to like this guy and the way he said how I should leave my boyfriend cause he is abusive he will never change etc make me question my life and my relationship with my bf. But I never wanted to leave my bf. I love my boyfriend and I can see a future with him. I had sex with this guy three times until my bf found out from our text messages. This affair lasted for 3 weeks.
I feel really really really really sad I just want to kill myself and die. I love my bf to death. Although things weren't working out well in our relatonship but I always had faith. Now I made a terrible terrible mistake and I want to know what I should do to get him back. Please help me!
Okay. Why would you want to go back to an emotionally abusive boyfriend?
Your first step? Value yourself a good deal more. These feelings of worthlessness you have are because of how he's made you feel. If he is truly emotionally abusive he has made you feel as if he's your only option in life. This is a horrible way to feel. In truth, you stepped out on him because you encountered someone who made you feel desirable and valued, something you desperately needed.
As I tell my daughter all the time, never, ever be with someone who doesn't make you feel good about yourself. If you are willing to be with a man who belittles you in exchange for a bit of security, that is a truly awful exchange you're making. And people who are emotional abusers never change.
You are better than this. Trust me on this. Seek therapy. And aim to feel better about yourself as a person. After all, no one can make you feel inferior without your own consent.
Please believe me he did make changes.
My head told me to leave at times but my heart tells me to stay.
Start listening to your head, your heart doesn't have a brain.
That's not a jab at you, it's serious advice.
One will follow they other. Get your mindset and yourself in a better place and you will find it much easier to rationaize love and desire.
Ask yourself what love is. Define it for yourself.
Don't just leave it as a "feeling"
love isnt just a feeling, it's a choice.
If your judgment is impaired, you're naturally going to make bad choices, no?
Last edited by rego00123; 04-09-2015 at 01:53 PM..
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