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Ask out girls you like. The only thing that can go wrong is they turn you down. Obviously you are attractive, since you are successful at online dating.
It is harder for people who display religious or cultural affiliations outwardly to date a variety of different people. My friends who wear tons of crosses and are super Religious, seem to date people that are similar. Others may see you and think you aren't interested in them, unless you ask them out.
1) Is this a good sign that I have female friends, even if they are just friends?
2) ........ Ask her out for a drink/dinner? Should I wait until the end of the semester so its not weird? ........
The female friend thing is good. It's important for a man to be able to get along well with women if he is ever going to have a successful partnership with a woman. The very best marriages are between best friends who also love each other romantically. Those are the marriages that last.
If you are already going out for coffee or lunch with these women, you will need to escalate. Be sure to word the invitation so that it is clear that it will be a date and not just another outing between friends. Be polite about it. Consider other things besides dinner: film festivals, museums, monster truck rallies, baseball games... something that both you and she are interested in. Ask if you can take her to..whatever.. and make sure you mention that it is your treat, which helps to emphasize that it is a date and not friends that happen to be doing the same outing together.
You are going to run into some women who won't date outside their own race. That's just the way the world is. Some will, some won't. Accept it.
I think the beard and turban are fine as long as both are very clean and groomed. (not that I have ever in my lifetime encountered a dirty Sikh, so not intending to insult you). Beards are disgusting when they are dirty and just fine when they are spotlessly clean and well groomed.
The female friend thing is good. It's important for a man to be able to get along well with women if he is ever going to have a successful partnership with a woman. The very best marriages are between best friends who also love each other romantically. Those are the marriages that last.
If you are already going out for coffee or lunch with these women, you will need to escalate. Be sure to word the invitation so that it is clear that it will be a date and not just another outing between friends. Be polite about it. Consider other things besides dinner: film festivals, museums, monster truck rallies, baseball games... something that both you and she are interested in. Ask if you can take her to..whatever.. and make sure you mention that it is your treat, which helps to emphasize that it is a date and not friends that happen to be doing the same outing together.
You are going to run into some women who won't date outside their own race. That's just the way the world is. Some will, some won't. Accept it.
I think the beard and turban are fine as long as both are very clean and groomed. (not that I have ever in my lifetime encountered a dirty Sikh, so not intending to insult you). Beards are disgusting when they are dirty and just fine when they are spotlessly clean and well groomed.
I have a friend who grew up in London, studied in the US, but is originally from Bahrain. Not exactly your situation but it reminds me of her. She was very conflicted in college. She had American boyfriends and identified with western culture. On the other hand, her family was deeply rooted in their culture and expected her to follow suit. Yes, this included arranged marriage.... it was the white elephant in the room that she refused to discuss with any of her American boyfriends at the time but I'm sure it was on their mind.
Ultimately, she was caught between different cultures and you cannot deny the importance of culture and religion in a relationship. She ended up following her families wishes and marrying within the culture and religion that was compatible. She's happy.
You are approaching an age in which the question of longer relationships (engagement and marriage) is on everyone's minds.. may be not in the beginning but as one gets more invested in a relationship those thoughts do come up. If your potential mate gets emotionally invested in a relationship with you but cannot or is unwilling to accept your religion and culture into their life, it becomes a painful conflicting situation. A situation that many will avoid.
You don't get to choose who you fall in love with BUT you do get to choose who you share your life with.
So while MEDALLOKUYA response may be a bit crude, it does have some value to it. When you first meet anyone, its human nature to measure them superficially. The turban does set you apart from many men in the dating pool. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing, is up to the women in that situation...
1) This is most likely because those girls have identified you as a non-potential-mate. Hence they don't find you threatening. It doesn't matter if the reasons is sexual orientation or religion.
2) I don't see why you can't ask the girl on a date.... its all in good fun. But be prepared for a no... and try not to allow that impact your friendship if that is what you cherish. If it progresses long term, she needs to be allowed to choose whether or not she is willing to accept you for who you are (that includes your religion and culture)
3) These are the same thoughts everyone who struggle in the dating scene experience. Its just a matter of fitting their expectations as well as yours. Perhaps women in the groups you hang out with your age group naturally attract the type of women that are looking for someone who doesn't necessarily fit yourself. Take yourself out of the group and see what happens.
thanks! I will definitely ask her out for dinner and report back.
Yeah, I agree that having female friends, even though they have "friend zoned" you, is good. You might as well ask the girl in question # 2 out, it's up to you if you want to wait till the class ends, if you would find it awkward to be in class with her if she turned you down. As to attracting older women, you could consider that a compliment, that you are a sophisticated man that more sophisticated ladies like, and perhaps the younger ones can't appreciate.
BTW, welcome to the forums. Your user name, IMHO, you ought to get a mod to change it to ConfidentSikh or something like that. Even online calling yourself "Mr. Unsure" sort of brings some bad mojo - IMHO anyway!
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