Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have some bizzare responses to my profile on EH. This has happened multiple times. I contact a woman and then she accepts the contact by responding to my "questions" (it appears as a notification on my phone... xxx has answered your first set of questions!). Later in the day when I get back home I choose to respond to her and she has already closed me out
Is this some kind of game that I am not aware about? Initiating contact with someone implies that you read their profile, liked what you saw and want to get to know them better. How can someone change their mind even before the other responds? Or is it that people's attention span is only a few hours these days? She liked me in the morning, nothing changed and she lost interest by the time afternoon rolled around and closed me out by evening.. LMAO! What a joke!
Another aspect of EH that I don't understand is why women don't close out matches they are not interested in. Even the official EH FAQ says that this is the polite thing to do. Women give excuses that they can't respond to people on sites like OKCupid because they get "too many" responses but that excuse just does not fly with EH as men and women get approximately the same number of matches and it's just a few.
I always close out matches I have no interest in but virtually 90% of women I contact view my profile and do not close me out. Why are these women lacking even basic etiquette? Perhaps women online have just developed such a sense of entitlement that they feel they do not even need to bother to take the extra effort of a click to close a match? Pretty bad reflection of what women have become in our society if you ask me
I have some bizzare responses to my profile on EH. This has happened multiple times. I contact a woman and then she accepts the contact by responding to my "questions" (it appears as a notification on my phone... xxx has answered your first set of questions!). Later in the day when I get back home I choose to respond to her and she has already closed me out
Is this some kind of game that I am not aware about? Initiating contact with someone implies that you read their profile, liked what you saw and want to get to know them better. How can someone change their mind even before the other responds? Or is it that people's attention span is only a few hours these days? She liked me in the morning, nothing changed and she lost interest by the time afternoon rolled around and closed me out by evening.. LMAO! What a joke!
Another aspect of EH that I don't understand is why women don't close out matches they are not interested in. Even the official EH FAQ says that this is the polite thing to do. Women give excuses that they can't respond to people on sites like OKCupid because they get "too many" responses but that excuse just does not fly with EH as men and women get approximately the same number of matches and it's just a few.
I always close out matches I have no interest in but virtually 90% of women I contact view my profile and do not close me out. Why are these women lacking even basic etiquette? Perhaps women online have just developed such a sense of entitlement that they feel they do not even need to bother to take the extra effort of a click to close a match? Pretty bad reflection of what women have become in our society if you ask me
What you consider basic etiquette, might not be to someone else, and they just don't even bother to take any additional steps when not interested.
But way to overthink things and find a way to denigrate women.
How is it denigrating women? First off I speak about women I am seeing *online* not women in general. This isn't about women vs men... I am not saying women are doing it and men are not, I have no information on what men do since I don't date men LOL! Men could be showing the same callousness and lack of etiquette but the context of my argument deals with women as that is who I deal with. I'm sure there could be just as many men online who are douchebags, as I said I have no idea...perhaps the women will pitch in with those experiences.
The bottom line is that all people men or women should show basic etiquette. And no this isn't subjective. It's like saying "Please" and "Thank you", it's universal.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,940 posts, read 36,711,281 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
How is it denigrating women? First off I speak about women I am seeing *online* not women in general. This isn't about women vs men... I am not saying women are doing it and men are not, I have no information on what men do since I don't date men LOL! Men could be showing the same callousness and lack of etiquette but the context of my argument deals with women as that is who I deal with. I'm sure there are just as many men who are douchebags as well, as I said I have no idea...perhaps the women will pitch in with those experiences.
The bottom line is that all people men or women should show basic etiquette. And no this isn't subjective. It's like saying "Please" and "Thank you", it's universal.
This comment?:
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
Pretty bad reflection of what women have become in our society if you ask me
Was not about any particular subset. It was about women in our society. That is denigrating women in general. Not specifically the ones you interact with.
And it is subjective. In olden days, if someone asks you out in person and you're not interested, one would politely say "no thank you" and there was no subjectivity there. Online has a different, and ever emerging, etiquette system, and there is VERY good reason why instead of saying "no thank you" people just don't respond at all. While that may be considered rude in real life, it really isn't considered rude with OLD, because of what often happens when one is polite back saying "no thank you".
And many women have pitched in many times about the responses they receive when declining an advance on OLD. It is no wonder that the etiquette rules are evolving and different from real life there. It might be nice if they weren't, but that would only hold true if people were as decent online as they are offline. They are not. The situation is different, so the responses are different, and the "rules" are different.
With OLD, you're a product on the shelves of an online storefront (like Amazon) with tens of thousands of similar products. It's very hard to stick out and gain traction.
I think it takes a lot of time, effort, and patience on the participant's part. Best of luck! It's always fun starting out, because you feel like the possibilities are endless. And then you realize that the possibilities are endless and it wears thin on your patience and becomes frustrating and exhausting.
With OLD, you're a product on the shelves of an online storefront (like Amazon) with tens of thousands of similar products. It's very hard to stick out and gain traction.
I think it takes a lot of time, effort, and patience on the participant's part. Best of luck! It's always fun starting out, because you feel like the possibilities are endless. And then you realize that the possibilities are endless and it wears thin on your patience and becomes frustrating and exhausting.
so we're "products" now? LOL! That is quite a depressing description.
It's an analogy. We're not literally products, but in a sense, we're trying to sell ourselves to those we're trying to attract.
Think about if you were to go to Home Depot to buy some eggshell white paint and there were tens of thousands of similar options for you to choose from. And as a bonus, Home Depot allows you to sample each one before you make a final choice. I think a lot of times what happens is that the options are overwhelming and, instead of setting for one, people keep sampling more and more because they think there is always a better option available to them. That's the frustrating part of OLD. So many options right at your fingertips and it leaves the impression that there is always something better waiting for you at a moment's notice. So why settle?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
