Rethinking my relationship-not happy (dumped, people, years, mother)
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The OP keeps comparing herself to Halle Berry ... really? OP, ask your doctor what the odds are of a woman conceiving naturally in her late 40s ... they are close to zero. Most celebrities don't talk about whether they used fertility doctors and donor eggs, but it is highly likely that if they got pregnant late in life, that's what they did (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is VERY expensive and doesn't always work). (And if you come back and tell us you are pregnant, that will be, well, one more unbelievable thing you have written.)
OP, you have written about your "boyfriend" with nothing but contempt. You even said you were going to dump him after he paid to fix your car (wow, what a nice person you are). Now you say "Oh maybe I love him." No, you love the idea of leeching off him, and think somehow you are entitled to that. HOW DARE HE not want to support you! I am flabbergasted that someone who is allegedly an adult would have that kind of entitlement mentality.
Friends of ours in that age category had problems conceiving, spent thousands on fertility treatments and ended up pregnant and with a baby naturally...just sayin...
It's not funny, Eve. I didn't particularly want to hear that kind of language on my birthday today. I posted that to show people how easily he can turn his back on a child he regarded as his daughter and who shares his last name.
Just what we need, another single woman with a child on welfare.
Your relationship shows it. I personally don't have anything against pot but some users will stayed pumped up all the time. It is known as a gateway drug. I do know his type and yes you can keep him. You don't want to work and be around people because you're depressed and then you're dumping all of this on him when you know FULL WELL that he can't deal with this.( but you want your car fixed) Oh yes, he will deal with your situation with ultimate perfection. You are one greedy person and he will come to resent you.
He'll just increase his pot usage and you will be more depressed- so good luck. After all, all he has to do for you is dress up and take you to dinner. This is REALLY unfair to him and you know it.
It is known as a gateway drug.
Shades of reefer madness lol. Sorry, I'm from Colorado and I find the whole pot thing comical! I'm in my late 40's as well, my husband smokes once in a while and when he does, he cleans! Hey I'll take it any day of the week!
Shades of reefer madness lol. Sorry, I'm from Colorado and I find the whole pot thing comical! I'm in my late 40's as well, my husband smokes once in a while and when he does, he cleans! Hey I'll take it any day of the week!
People that smoke 1/2 of a bag a day, usually want to take three houses out. Ah, no thanks. These people are usually attention * h o r * s and just can't understand anything. Big difference.
My reply was that this guy will increase his usage.
Friends of ours in that age category had problems conceiving, spent thousands on fertility treatments and ended up pregnant and with a baby naturally...just sayin...
Um, OK, you know one person to whom that happened, so that means it is SO likely to happen to the OP too!
And more on topic, add me to the list of skeptics about the OP and the man she now claims to "love" ... although a few days ago it sounded like she didn't even LIKE him. Must have been a VERY nice dinner.
People that smoke 1/2 of a bag a day, usually want to take three houses out. Ah, no thanks. These people are usually attention * h o r * s and just can't understand anything. Big difference.
My reply was that this guy will increase his usage.
I have no idea where you're getting your stats from...maybe alcohol would drive someone to take out 3 houses, but not pot. The crime in Denver has actually dropped...most stoners would much rather lay on the couch and eat Funyuns than do anything else.
You'd probably be surprised at how many people actually smoke. I wish I could because I have MS, but unfortunately Florida refuses to pass laws legalizing marijuana...must be all of the old people here that have the same perception of "reefer madness".
OP will be back shortly... to regale us with yet another horror story of her very caring, polite, loving, good looking (but I HATE his false teeth!!!) boyfriend.
Some people just thrive on drama. Or they enjoy the torture.
I was letting things about him bother me that shouldn't bother me. We come from different cultures. He's Italian, family is from Sicily, I'm a very pretty African-American woman. Drinking every day at dinner time is what they do. Still, even if they didn't, another poster kind of open my eyes on the fact that as long as he isn't drunk and drink 24/7, then that is his choice and it's nothing wrong with that. He has two beers most nights. He occasionally goes in the garage with a friend to smoke pot, he is going to cut virtually cut that out, and he doesn't smoke cigarettes--Big No NO. As for the anger issues. He agrees to go see someone together with me.
Positives:
-We love each other!
-He's handsome. Dark, tall Italian, with dark hair.
-He's not book smart because of his learning disabilities, but he's street smart. We balance each other out because I'm book smart, have a Master's, but struggle with common sense and am not street smart.
-The sex is good and frequent.
-This is a man that has and will do anything for me to keep me safe and happy.
-He has a strong family unit. I like that. We have dinner at his house every Sat. and Sunday.
-He is always willing to work. He's in construction and I we might start at business with him working with other guys, while I work in a white color field.
-Same goals: Family is important, want to save for retirement, will be going to church together.
-He was stupid in hanging around the wrong people. Went to jail for something he didn't do. Never in trouble with law before. He learned his lesson.
-He can cook, did it for a living previously. I like baking, he will do the cooking. Says he doesn't mind. -He's a good person and has SO MUCH integrity. Would not even think of choosing a 20 or 30 something woman to date. That was one of the things that impressed me about his profile. He had the age-range listed on it. He's 3 years younger than I am and we are both in our 40's.
-Loves dogs. Hates cats. Just like me.
-I'm getting used to the dentures. When we become intimate, he takes them out, and I like kissing like that. It's a lot better than being with a man that has a mouth full of rotten teeth still IN. His breath is always fresh because there are no decaying teeth that need scaling and cleaning. If he still has bone, we are going to get him some individual implanted teeth when we can afford it. And wouldn't that be extremely SHALLOW of me to ditch him because he has dentures??
Love is hard to find. When you find it hold on to it. And ladies, it's best to find a man that loves you more than you love him initially. Don't settle for less. We are getting married soon.
I have never been in true, mature love like this and I'm not going to let the fact that we are different in some ways ruin it. We are alike in the things like family values and our belief in God matter. He does believe in God, he is not an Atheist, he just has questions just like I did previously. He has given me what no other man in my life ever has: Commitment, dedication and true love.
A felon has "so much integrity"? Oh, but it wasn't his fault. It never is their fault.
You're glossing over some MAJOR red flags: anger issues (something that, over time, could likely come back to haunt you if you stay in this relationship) and the pot-smoking. There are guys out there who aren't into alcohol, too, but that seems like a minor concern compared to some of the other issues.
You're talking yourself into continuing with a relationship that has some very serious red flags, in favor of trivial things like "Likes dogs, hates cats, just like me! " and "No teeth is better than rotten teeth". OP, how did he come to be so neglectful of his oral/dental health that he lost his teeth in the first place? There's no excuse for that. I think it's another red flag that points to something deeper.
But whatever. Don't come back here in 2 or 3 years, and say we didn't warn you.
For the men on here who think I am using him, more info:
A woman that he was with became pregnant right when they started dating and lied that the child was his. He raised her alone for 6 years of her life when the woman dumped her on his mother's door and said, "take care of her". That child is now 18 and has gotten in trouble with the law. When we first started dating he told me that even though the child wasn't biologically his, he loved her and thought of her as his own child. Well, since we've been together, that child hooked up with the wrong man and got in trouble with the law. He now goes around saying that he doesn't consider that girl his daughter anymore, he has disowned her and said to me, "F*ck her in her neck!".
Today is my birthday, he called me to confirm plans for this evening. I said some people said that you need to work on your anger issues. His voice was cool and calm, he said, "I don't have anger issues. And if it's your friend xxxx, tell that C*nt to go f*ck herself. Or whoever it is, they can go f*ck themselves".
This whole thread cracks me up! A few posts back, you said your BF wanted you pregnant because he had no other kids. Now he has an 18 yr old daughter, who may or may not be his genetically, but that his family has taken care of as his for 18yrs.
I'm starting to think your whole story is made up...seriously. It's a reality show in the course of one week on C/D. I am not even going to TRY to tell you what to do as you take not one person's advice yet in all of these pages of the thread. I SEE quite clearly what your problem is and my 'two cents' stops HERE.
You have an 'answer' for everything.
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Must have been a VERY nice dinner. 
It's a lot better than being with a man that has a mouth full of rotten teeth still IN. His breath is always fresh because there are no decaying teeth that need scaling and cleaning. If he still has bone, we are going to get him some individual implanted teeth when we can afford it. And wouldn't that be extremely SHALLOW of me to ditch him because he has dentures??
This whole thread cracks me up! A few posts back, you said your BF wanted you pregnant because he had no other kids. Now he has an 18 yr old daughter, who may or may not be his genetically, but that his family has taken care of as his for 18yrs.
