Boyfriend acts a little distant after physical or emotional intimacy (dating, boyfriends)
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I'm not talking about a guy pulling away and disappearing. My bf doesn't disappear. What happens is that, often, after intimacy, whether physical or emotional, he acts a little distant. He's still around me and still communicates, but he physically moves away from me and starts doing his own thing, with very minimal interaction with me. This lasts an hour, maybe less, and then he approaches me again and acts sweet as usual. So I'm not really worried about it, but it does seem strange. Guys, why do you do this? Is it normal? I can't recall the guys I was with before him doing this, so it makes me curious and confused.
I'm in my late 30s, he's 30. We dated for about 3 months before he asked me to officially be gf/bf. We've been official for about 3 weeks now. I can see the effort he makes for me. His friends and family know me, he's there to support what I do, and as the relationship progresses, he makes more and more time to be with me. But the behavior I described above seems a little off compared to his effort as a whole. Or am I asking for too much too soon?
At my age, I feel silly asking this question, but it's behavior I'm not used to. And I'm a newbie again at dating, after divorcing my ex-husband last year.
Hope y'all can shed some light on this, esp the guys.
Can you describe these instances more specifically?
He usually stays over on the weekend. Often, usually on the second day, after we've been spending time either having sex or being physically affectionate without sex, or just bonding, being sweet while watching tv or talking about our shared (or unshared) interests, he would literally move away from me and just get on his phone, put his earphones on listening to music, and not really interact. Or he would still talk, but in a very matter-of-fact tone. He usually keeps a physical distance. And I would sometimes move close and act affectionate, and there would be no reciprocation from him. But this only lasts for a short while; an hour, maybe even less. Then he becomes his usual affectionate self again. I'm not too hurt because he always comes back, and he doesn't disappear on me. He maintains communication even when we're not together. But those instances make me go, "What gives?" I didn't notice this behavior in my exes. The times my exes acted distant, it was always after an argument. My current BF and I have never argued, and the instances I described don't happen after conflict. Like I said, they happen after some physic and emotional bonding; at least, that's what I've observed.
He usually stays over on the weekend. Often, usually on the second day, after we've been spending time either having sex or being physically affectionate without sex, or just bonding, being sweet while watching tv or talking about our shared (or unshared) interests, he would literally move away from me and just get on his phone, put his earphones on listening to music, and not really interact. Or he would still talk, but in a very matter-of-fact tone. He usually keeps a physical distance. And I would sometimes move close and act affectionate, and there would be no reciprocation from him. But this only lasts for a short while; an hour, maybe even less. Then he becomes his usual affectionate self again. I'm not too hurt because he always comes back, and he doesn't disappear on me. He maintains communication even when we're not together. But those instances make me go, "What gives?" I didn't notice this behavior in my exes. The times my exes acted distant, it was always after an argument. My current BF and I have never argued, and the instances I described don't happen after conflict. Like I said, they happen after some physic and emotional bonding; at least, that's what I've observed.
If he's not giving you the actual silent treatment, it sounds like he's just not interested in being attached at the hip, you know?
Yes, since everything else is going well, I am pretty much letting it go. And no, I'm not planning to talk about it! My only real concern about this is that it makes me hesitate to get closer emotionally. With past boyfriends, at this point in a relationship - 4 months into dating - I usually felt closer and more comfortable with the one I was with. But then again, none of my past relationships grew organically like this one did.
I'm not talking about a guy pulling away and disappearing. My bf doesn't disappear. What happens is that, often, after intimacy, whether physical or emotional, he acts a little distant. He's still around me and still communicates, but he physically moves away from me and starts doing his own thing, with very minimal interaction with me. This lasts an hour, maybe less, and then he approaches me again and acts sweet as usual. So I'm not really worried about it, but it does seem strange. Guys, why do you do this? Is it normal? I can't recall the guys I was with before him doing this, so it makes me curious and confused.
I'm in my late 30s, he's 30. We dated for about 3 months before he asked me to officially be gf/bf. We've been official for about 3 weeks now. I can see the effort he makes for me. His friends and family know me, he's there to support what I do, and as the relationship progresses, he makes more and more time to be with me. But the behavior I described above seems a little off compared to his effort as a whole. Or am I asking for too much too soon?
At my age, I feel silly asking this question, but it's behavior I'm not used to. And I'm a newbie again at dating, after divorcing my ex-husband last year.
Hope y'all can shed some light on this, esp the guys.
What this means is that he's not sure about you. I'm sorry, and it sucks. It doesn't mean that he's not going to fall in love with you later on. It just means that he's not in love with you now.
Ask him why he does that, he is the only one who knows the answer.
PS ~~ Not ever guy on the planet does that either, some do, others don't.
I have thought about asking him. But I would like to know first if it's something that men commonly do. Because if it's common and normal, then I would not bring it up. At least, not until we're closer and I'm more comfortable.
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