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Hey if you want to live your life being her chump, go for it. It's your life. But as you can see there are a lot of people here both guys and gals who think you'll live to regret it later on when you realize you've been being used all along while she has been doing nothing but taking, her entire pathetic and unproductive life.
I just, I would feel a bit bad leaving her when she's not treating me poorly or being verbally abusive. I come home and she's happy as a clam asking me a million questions about my day, like I said, she's a sweetheart, just has no work ethic.
Well, not everyone is into working. It's not really all that enjoyable for a lot of people. She is "happy as a clam" because she lives a life of leisure. If she starts working, she might not be that much of a sweetheart anymore.
"Sowwy" isn't going to be adorable when she's 40. It's not cute at 20 (or whatever). Nobody who's not an utter boob thinks "Sowwy" is cute from anybody over the age of about 8.
That's not going to change, and if you think you don't like it now, you are REALLY not going to like it in 5 years. Essentially you have an adult child.
Tell her she needs to find something productive to be doing at least 8 hours every day. I'm not a huge fan when people keep late night hours (unless it's for work schedule), I've found that nothing much productive gets done during those hours besides surfing the internet, playing games, etc.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but obviously your girl is not one of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyboypat
What's happening in 5 years?
Hmmm, five years from now you are out of college and working a demanding job with long, long hours. You get home to a dirty house, without any food and your GF is just playing computer games or taking a nap.
You will do your job 50 or 60 or 80 hours a week. Then you come home, ready to relax but you need to make all of the meals, do all of the cleaning, buy all of the groceries, and do absolute every thing else.
Do you really want that? Do you really want that for the next 50 years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal
And you would marry her.....why? Just because she is "sweet, funny and pretty". She already shows you that she brings nothing to the relationship. What if you were to marry her...and she got ...FAT
Or....god forbid....pregnant.
Or...what if you married her...and you got laid off or injured. Then what. ?
That poor girl needs some adult remediation. Training on "How to be a responsible adult".
You are really only just enabling her to continue doing as she is doing. Being pampered.
I agree. Would she step up and be able to support the two of you (or your entire family) if she needed to do that?
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-09-2015 at 05:35 PM..
Op, your girl sounds like me. I do not work or go to school, I just do fun stuff like dance classes and yoga all day. I do not cook or clean either. At least not much.
So I feel somewhat qualified to give you advice on how to handle this.
If she truly loves *you* and wants to keep *you* and only *you*, then she will change if you say you seriously cannot take it anymore. The change will not occur overnight, it will take time and effort on her part, but she will at least try!
However...if she thinks she can find someone better or more fit for her than you, then she will not make an effort to change.
If she is trying to make more of an effort, you should see little things done in the beginning like vacuuming and tidying up. If she does not care, expect to see nothing.
This is actually a good opportunity to see how much she does or doesn't love you: if she is willing to make positive changes to keep you.
Because I know if I had a man I truly loved, I would not let it end just because I cannot vacuum!
Hope this helps.
What an appropriate name "user". Who pays your bills now? Who will pay your bills in 20 years? Who will pay your nursing home bills in 70 years?
Please excuse me if you are actual part of a Royal Family and you "earn your keep" by making public appearances or are the sole heir to a huge fortune. Otherwise, IMHO, you may be just one step up from a common streetwalker who trades sex for money (unless you aren't listing a lot of information).
I just, I would feel a bit bad leaving her when she's not treating me poorly or being verbally abusive. I come home and she's happy as a clam asking me a million questions about my day, like I said, she's a sweetheart, just has no work ethic.
Of course she's happy as a clam. She slept through most of the day. Most of us would be happy as a clam in those circumstances. Well, except we'd be bored out of our skulls, because most of us need more than sleep, TV and video games in our lives, but we'd be perfectly capable of filling our spare time constructively.
Whatever, OP. I guess you're happy, so...../thread ? Are we done here?
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Whatever you do, don't propose to her tonight.
