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Old 05-10-2015, 10:50 PM
 
Location: New York City
9 posts, read 25,809 times
Reputation: 15

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My girlfriend is a mother and I forgot to wish her happy mothers day. I was out with my mother on mother's day and I texted my girlfriend that my mom wishes her happy mothers day. However, I did not wish my girlfriend happy mothers day. Now she is furious. She called me crying saying that she is badly hurt because of it. We had a planned date this week and she has cancelled. She asked if I wanted to give up on us.

We have been together 7 months and this is our first "fight". Although, it was not actually a fight. I basically apologized for my lapse but she hasn't forgiven me.

I'm writing here for some advice on a couple things.

1- How bad was this offense?

2- What steps could I take to remedy it?

3- Is it a relationship breaker? Or is it a sign that she may be unsure about other things in the relationship?
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Old 05-10-2015, 10:57 PM
 
2,600 posts, read 3,672,111 times
Reputation: 3042
I'm probably the wrong person to answer because it doesn't really hurt my feelings when someone doesn't wish me a happy Mother's Day. I really only care to hear it from my kids because, obviously, I'm their mother.

It was an accident. I don't see what else you can do besides apologize.
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Old 05-10-2015, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,947,793 times
Reputation: 30160
It shouldn't be that serious because she's neither your mother nor the mother of your child. It would have been nice to extend Mother's Day wishes from yourself before you passed them along from your mom. I don't understand why she's furious though, that's something you need to ask her, not us. It seems awfully dramatic of her and I'd be questioning that, rather than her questioning you because you didn't say Happy Mothers Day.
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Old 05-10-2015, 11:16 PM
 
Location: CA
478 posts, read 428,840 times
Reputation: 781
As a mother, I don't think your forgetfulness is something your girlfriend should feel "badly hurt" over... Unless, she told you previously that she'd be badly hurt if her boyfriend didn't extend a happy mother's day to her, then I'd say she's overreacting... All you can do is apologize and let her know you didn't realize how strongly she felt about this. We can't expect our partners to mind-read, as much as many of us try...
Good luck... I can see how you might think her reaction is a sign of some other issue she may have with the relationship. Ask her. Talk about it. If she's not up for discussing things with you, then I'd say, yes, you've got some other relationship issues with this person... Or, at least, she's got some. If so, it'd be nice if she could fill you in, right?
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:15 AM
 
Location: New York City
9 posts, read 25,809 times
Reputation: 15
I should also mention that she was really frantic on the phone. She said that I ruined her mothers day and that I made her cry in front of her kids.

All I could say was that I was sorry. I didn't want things to escalate. And to be honest I wasn't sure how bad the offense was (I've never dated a woman with kids before and thus have never wished a girlfriend happy mothers day). I've also learned that if someone is upset its best not to argue with them and to just let them get out what they want to say.

Seven months in and the relationship has been great until today. I'm not the type that cuts and runs at the first sign of trouble, but I'm getting the impression that she might be.
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:27 AM
 
Location: Land of Confusion
51 posts, read 73,603 times
Reputation: 108
This is really irrational behavior on her part. Mentioning it is one thing. But becoming hysterical and unreasonable is quite another. This may be a prelude of events yet to come. That's cool that you're not the type who cuts and runs at the first sign of trouble. It's always better to wait for the second sign. Trust me. It'll come.
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,293 posts, read 34,425,363 times
Reputation: 73226
I think she is completely over reacting, BUT this is the only fight in 7 months and that says a lot.

Tell you had no idea how important this was to her, and you'll make sure it doesn't happen again. And for gosh sakes, DON'T forget her birthday!!
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:54 AM
 
3,422 posts, read 3,314,613 times
Reputation: 6151
How bad the offense? Dude, you only forgot to say "Happy Mother's Day", you didn't commit any crime!
Her getting so overwrought over something so trivial is a definite red flag, but you can always remember other essential dates, such as her birthday as the previous poster said. Ride it out, but if you start seeing such drama more frequently, you and her will need to have a serious talk.
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Old 05-11-2015, 01:12 AM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
7,046 posts, read 8,865,275 times
Reputation: 14690
Bravo.
Foxtrot.
Delta.

She is not your mother.

I never did anything for my wife on Mother's Day but did help my daughter do things when she was little. I did not want to be one of those dads that stole the kids thunder on Mother's Day.
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Old 05-11-2015, 01:30 AM
 
Location: Bellevue & Seal Beach
768 posts, read 713,899 times
Reputation: 1404
Walk away. Then run. I am told that I'm too sensitive & even I wouldn't be so hurt because of this.

Also, when someone says things like, "You made me..." or " You ruined ..." they have given you too much power & are not in control of their own lives. Those who try to control those around them are out of control themselves. You don't want to start out this way.

"She asked if I wanted to give up on us." Answer: YES!

She has her own kids to spend the day with. If that isn't enough, well... you will spend the rest of your life trying to please her if you remain with her. And she will never let you succeed.
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