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So, here's the thing with Facebook. Everyone on here always says - "Oh, people's lives probably suck but they just make them look good - so don't feel bad! They are all miserable liars!" And that's not really the point. The point is that it doesn't matter if they are happy or not. Seeing other people miserable shouldn't make someone happy. I can understand that when you are in a bad place, it's hard to be happy for other people - and that's why you should stay off of Facebook. Because you shouldn't compare yourself to other people. When you are in a place where you can be happy for others - then you can get back on Facebook.
We are all on our own path and things happen at different times for all of us. Focus on being positive and things will get better.
People who get depressed at facebook are also people who are going to get depressed by ANYthing they see that indicates to them that others might have things that they don't have. Staying off facebook won't help change attitudes and outlooks, it will just avoid one of many potential triggers. I used to live with a guy who would be alternately rage-y and despondent if he saw on social media that somebody he considered to be "less" than him had accomplished something he hadn't. But if he wasn't on social media, he would react the same if he heard about, say, a colleague at work getting some recognition he hadn't, when my brother bought a bigger house in a nicer area than he had, when confronted by people who had cars he considered nicer than his, went to better schools than he did, worked for more well-known companies than he did, etc. It wasn't like social media was the problem...insecurity was the problem. Warped perceptions were the problem.
The comparing game doesn't go away if you stop looking at facebook. It requires a major attitude adjustment, and the conscious decision that you're going to stop basing what you value in life upon how it compares to the choices of others.
If you spend all your time basing your own self worth on whether or not others have things you don't, or whether or not you have things others don't, you're probably a pretty miserable excuse for a person, overall.
So, here's the thing with Facebook. Everyone on here always says - "Oh, people's lives probably suck but they just make them look good - so don't feel bad! They are all miserable liars!" And that's not really the point. The point is that it doesn't matter if they are happy or not. Seeing other people miserable shouldn't make someone happy. I can understand that when you are in a bad place, it's hard to be happy for other people - and that's why you should stay off of Facebook. Because you shouldn't compare yourself to other people. When you are in a place where you can be happy for others - then you can get back on Facebook.
We are all on our own path and things happen at different times for all of us. Focus on being positive and things will get better.
Exactly.
If your personal happiness is based upon supposed confirmation that others have crappier lives than you, and that happiness is only possible if you have "beaten" other people, you've got problems.
fakebook and all this other irrelevant stuff has no place in relationships
people break up/dsivorce over nonsense on a damn website
fakebook is control and manipulation...the fact that everytime you go somewhere on the internets you often see something that says "sign in thru facebook" hmm
fakebook and all this other irrelevant stuff has no place in relationships
people break up/dsivorce over nonsense on a damn website
fakebook is control and manipulation...the fact that everytime you go somewhere on the internets you often see something that says "sign in thru facebook" hmm
I love Facebook. I love seeing what friends and relatives that I haven't seen in years are up to. I love seeing people's families, pets, trips, etc. I love being able to keep in contact with people that I had lost touch with years ago. It's not all control and manipulation. It doesn't cause breaks up or divorces. People do that all on their own.
fakebook is control and manipulation...the fact that everytime you go somewhere on the internets you often see something that says "sign in thru facebook" hmm
I love Facebook. I love seeing what friends and relatives that I haven't seen in years are up to. I love seeing people's families, pets, trips, etc. I love being able to keep in contact with people that I had lost touch with years ago. It's not all control and manipulation. It doesn't cause breaks up or divorces. People do that all on their own.
tru. you know i mentioned this only because this is what fakebookers say
i suppose its what you make it
it seems you use it for good, while other/most people seem to use it to generate bad feelings like jealousy and depression
i see posts here and its usually always the latter
You seriously think other people use social media with the intent of "making" others feel badly about themselves?
Sheesh - here's reality: People feel badly about themselves, or they don't. Nobody can "make" you feel badly about yourself. You do that on your own. And nobody's using Facebook to gaslight you. If you feel like a loser when you look at others' social media, online discussion forums, etc., that's 100% on you.
You seriously think other people use social media with the intent of "making" others feel badly about themselves?
Sheesh - here's reality: People feel badly about themselves, or they don't. Nobody can "make" you feel badly about yourself. You do that on your own. And nobody's using Facebook to gaslight you. If you feel like a loser when you look at others' social media, online discussion forums, etc., that's 100% on you.
I think some people use social media to make THEMSELVES feel better.
I'm not thinking of people who post here and there, but people who are constantly gushing about how wonderful their SO is, or who can't go out for a drink with some friends without tagging everyone there and posting 10 pictures of every drink they have. I really don't understand the motivation to make a post about everything that ever happens to you except that you are trying to validate your own life through the likes and comments of others. Seems sad to me.
After I got a divorce, I will admit Facebook made me sad. It wasn't that I was unhappy for people who were getting married, starting families, etc. but it just made me sad that they had something I longed for. People are only human and I understand what OP means. I think some of us are just trying to point out to her not to put too much stock into what people write online. It isn't always the truth and other people are struggling in their own ways.
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