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I'm amazed by the number of men here who have and/or want cats. I love them but I'm highly allergic to them.
I mean its not a big deal, but there was no need to get so heated about it, and then he said something like "don't worry, I won't come between you and your cat", like buddy I was never worried about that.
bebe, the cat thing would be enough for me. I had my cat for nearly 19 years and any guy who did not like cats would have been a dealbreaker. Just tolerating my cat would not have been enough for me either. Cats are an excellent barometer for who's a good guy and who isn't.
BTW my cat held on long enough to be sure I had someone else to love me (my now-husband). It was actually my husband's reaction and response to my cat's death that made me sure he's the one for me.
We have a dog now!
Aww that's sweet.
I've had my cat for 9 years, I tell people she's my furry daughter. While I understand not liking cats, every guy I've dated in the past who wasn't a "cat person" still always came over to her and pet her and were nice to her.
His explanation for not liking cats is because he has owned quite a few of them in the past and has had negative experiences with all of them, except for one (which died), the rest were given away.
bebe, the cat thing would be enough for me. I had my cat for nearly 19 years and any guy who did not like cats would have been a dealbreaker. Just tolerating my cat would not have been enough for me either. Cats are an excellent barometer for who's a good guy and who isn't. (Also, I think birds are dirtier than cats).
BTW my cat stuck around long enough to be sure I had someone else to love me (my now-husband) before he passed away. It was actually my husband's reaction and response to my cat's death that made me sure he's the one for me (he drove 40 miles at 11pm to be with me, took care of me, got rid of the cat's stuff, took me to have him cremated, etc).
We have a dog now!
The cat thing would definitely be a deal breaker to me too!!!
Maybe he's logging in to check that you're logging in, too. He may think you are still looking. LOL
Anyway, you had sex with him after only 2 weeks. He is probably on to the next conquest. Sorry. That's just the way some men are, especially men on those dating sites.
Anyway, you had sex with him after only 2 weeks. He is probably on to the next conquest. Sorry. That's just the way some men are, especially men on those dating sites.
Maybe, who knows. But if that is the case glad I found out sooner rather than later.
Well I know he won't be free until next week, so neither of us have mentioned anything. If we speak again I'm sure it will come up.
OP, how were you able to spend last weekend with him, if he has his kids from Thursday to Tues. morning? And then he has to pick up his daughter after dance school every Wednesday. (Or is it just this Wed., for some reason? Or was that just an excuse for not seeing you?) So according to that schedule, he's only free to see you Tuesday evenings.
Something here isn't adding up. If he wanted to see you, he could have dinner with you on Wednesdays, before picking up his daughter. Knowing that Tuesdays, and dinnertime Wednesdays are the only time you guys can date, if he were into you, he'd be pursuing that. But he's not. I guess all you can do is wait until next week, and see what he decides to do. Are you ok with getting involved with a guy who can only see you two evenings/week?
OP, how were you able to spend last weekend with him, if he has his kids from Thursday to Tues. morning? And then he has to pick up his daughter after dance school every Wednesday. (Or is it just this Wed., for some reason? Or was that just an excuse for not seeing you?) So according to that schedule, he's only free to see you Tuesday evenings.
Something here isn't adding up. If he wanted to see you, he could have dinner with you on Wednesdays, before picking up his daughter. Knowing that Tuesdays, and dinnertime Wednesdays are the only time you guys can date, if he were into you, he'd be pursuing that. But he's not. I guess all you can do is wait until next week, and see what he decides to do. Are you ok with getting involved with a guy who can only see you two evenings/week?
Let me clarify....he has his kids every Monday and Thursday and every other weekend. So therefore the weekends he does have them he has them from Thursday evening thru Tuesday morning when they go to school, last weekend he didn't have his kids, so this weekend he has them. He does not have them Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but apparently his ex wife is working late today so he has to drop off and pick up his daughter from dancing school. Do I believe him? Well his ex-wife does work in a dentist office, and Wednesday nights usually is a late night for most dental offices, so I can believe it might be her turn to work late. Also, he doesn't strike me as a guy who would make up an excuse using his kids unless it were true. I think if he was looking for an excuse he would've made up something about working late, or something along those lines. As for dinner time, I get home from work around 6:30-7pm, so does he, and he lives about 45 minutes away from me, so getting together before 8pm on working days is virtually impossible for both of us.
Let me clarify....he has his kids every Monday and Thursday and every other weekend. So therefore the weekends he does have them he has them from Thursday evening thru Tuesday morning when they go to school, last weekend he didn't have his kids, so this weekend he has them. He does not have them Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but apparently his ex wife is working late today so he has to drop off and pick up his daughter from dancing school. Do I believe him? Well his ex-wife does work in a dentist office, and Wednesday nights usually is a late night for most dental offices, so I can believe it might be her turn to work late. Also, he doesn't strike me as a guy who would make up an excuse using his kids unless it were true. I think if he was looking for an excuse he would've made up something about working late, or something along those lines. As for dinner time, I get home from work around 6:30-7pm, so does he, and he lives about 45 minutes away from me, so getting together before 8pm on working days is virtually impossible for both of us.
Asking again. How long has he been divorced and on the market?
You must keep in mind that a man who was in a long marriage with kids and who is new to the dating world and in a new era of time since he was last in the dating scene, needs his own time to figure out himself and what he wants in life. He has started a new journey and is breaking away from longtime marriage habits...habits that he may not even realize he has. He may be aware now that his time to himself is very valuable. This does not mean that he is not interested but it certainly means that he is enjoying his new found freedom and exploring this new chapter of his life. He needs time to find himself again and establish a life without the habits he had while married.
Actually this applies to anyone who just got out of a long marriage or relationship. It should be a time of discovery and personal growth. People who jump from one relationship to the next relationship miss out on this crucial opportunity for personal development and growth. They usually end up bringing all of their bad habits into the new relationship eventually.
Last edited by Matadora; 05-13-2015 at 01:39 PM..
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