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I also did not mention that I am 38 years old. I do not see myself starting over with anyone else at my age. If I decide to call off the engagement, then this will be it for me. I will just continue to focus on myself. Thank you all for your feed back.
Why throw in the towel on dating, OP? There are 40-year-old guys looking around for women like you. Some of them have posted here, worried that they won't be able to find any child-free single women, at their age. There are some good guys out there.
I also did not mention that I am 38 years old. I do not see myself starting over with anyone else at my age. If I decide to call off the engagement, then this will be it for me. I will just continue to focus on myself. Thank you all for your feed back.
You never know. I met my husband at age 46 after I said I was done dating. Treat yourself well, don't let others get you down and good things will come to you.
Yes, concentrate on you for awhile but do not become a recluse. Your life is definitely not over.
I would get some counseling so you can deal with the lingering effects of your relationship with an addict.
Tell him to give you a call once he's been in recovery for a full year. You can not fix him. He has to do it himself & he doesn't want to now. Alcoholics are miserable inside and being married to an untreated one will only make you miserable too. Life is too short.
I have been engaged for 1 year to my fiance who is an alcoholic. Although he is a good guy, I am extremely unhappy and conflicted, with his behavior. I have expressed my unhappiness to him about his problem and he tells me that he will "slow down",but he never seems to make an effort to do so. I have told him on many occasions how concerned I am on the effect this is causing on our relationship, and family. I've even suggested counseling and AA but he refuses to seek help. I don't know how much more of this I could take, and I am afraid that this will be the demise of our relationship and ultimately our marriage. I want to be able to support him in anyway I can but feel that I cannot do so until he steps up and admits to himself that he has a problem, and gets help. I refuse to enable his addiction, but it is hard when he comes straight home from work to the garage and drinks at least a 6 pack a day. I don't want him getting confrontational, and yelling at the top of his lungs so that the neighbors could hear him. Advice on this forum would be helpful. Thanks.
Well....if you are engaged to Frankenstein I can see why you might be having second thoughts on getting married.
I also did not mention that I am 38 years old. I do not see myself starting over with anyone else at my age. If I decide to call off the engagement, then this will be it for me. I will just continue to focus on myself. Thank you all for your feed back.
I was 38 when I met my husband. We've been together for 23 years.
But it doesn't seem like the numbers are bothering you so much as the idea that this wreck of a man is all you deserve.
I have been engaged for 1 year to my fiance who is an alcoholic. Although he is a good guy, I am extremely unhappy and conflicted, with his behavior. I have expressed my unhappiness to him about his problem and he tells me that he will "slow down",but he never seems to make an effort to do so. I have told him on many occasions how concerned I am on the effect this is causing on our relationship, and family. I've even suggested counseling and AA but he refuses to seek help. I don't know how much more of this I could take, and I am afraid that this will be the demise of our relationship and ultimately our marriage. I want to be able to support him in anyway I can but feel that I cannot do so until he steps up and admits to himself that he has a problem, and gets help. I refuse to enable his addiction, but it is hard when he comes straight home from work to the garage and drinks at least a 6 pack a day. I don't want him getting confrontational, and yelling at the top of his lungs so that the neighbors could hear him. Advice on this forum would be helpful. Thanks.
As someone who grew up with an alcoholic and has dated a few alcoholics, I can advise you to walk away now to preserve your sanity and your own life. I wouldn't wish an addiction on anyone. You can't change him or improve his life - he has to do that - but you can improve your own. As long as he's addicted, you will never have a healthy relationship with him and you'll never stop worrying. Trust your instincts and LEAVE!!!
As someone who actually went ahead and married one, don't walk away. RUN LIKE THE WIND.
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