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So there's this girl (I'm a guy btw), that I've known for a few months and I always felt something strange in the way we interact. First off, we met when both of us were the only ones in a study lounge at midnight studying for our classes, and it turned out, we were in the same engineering class. We chatted quite a bit throughout the night until 4am, when we left and went back home. The next day, she remembered me in the lab, and it seemed normal. She saw me as she was leaving, and we talked a little about our projects and I friend requested her on facebook, because well, that's what I always do with someone who I think I click well with after meeting them, guy or girl. Anyways, fast forward a week, and I finally came to lecture (I usually watch webcasts which is why I usually don't show up) and when I saw her and smiled her, and instead of saying hi, she looked down and smiled and walked away. We bumped into each other a few times after in lecture and in lab and she acted as if she doesn't know me. So I thought that she probably doesn't like me as a person after those two interactions for whatever reason and I forgot about her. Three weeks later, I received a facebook notification that she accepted my friend request and a few days after, she started talking to me and we chatted with me about our project in the lab. We also studied a bit together, with some other friends as finals approached that semester. During that week of studying, I also ran into her in office hours once and as a TA was explaining something to a group of students (including us), I noticed that she turned her head towards me and looked at me twice w/o smiling, then turned away. I thought that perhaps my zipper was down or there was stains on my clothes. Neither turned out to be true. I also have a slight hunched back, maybe that was attracting her attention? If so, she'd be the first person I met to look at me like that. Whatever, that concludes last semester.
Anyways, after that, we joined the same club so we talk a bit whenever I go (like once every 2 months). We also occassionally bump into to each other in the club and sometimes out on the street. Sometimes, I look at her, she clearly sees me and doesn't make eye contact. Other times, I see her smile but look down. Other times, she says hi to me and we talk a little bit. So honestly, what is going on? Does she like me but is just shy, does she find something unappealing about me which explains why she sometimes talk to me other times ignore me, or could all of that just be who she is? The way I interact with her doesn't feel like how I normally interact with friends and acquaintances. Thanks for any input!
Last edited by asdfghjkl12345; 05-14-2015 at 05:20 AM..
Dude, please - get some nuts and tell her you are attracted to her - ask her to coffee or a meal - do something, do anything - youth is wasted on the young.
How though? School year is almost over. Like I'm leaving tomorrow. Perhaps I should ask her sometime in the middle of summer on facebook how summer is going and ask if she wants to grab lunch or dinner when we return in the fall. Best case, she says yes, worst case, well it turns out she's not interested and I settled this question either way. Shouldn't hurt right? Does my sound good or can anyone suggest anything better?
If you really like her, don't wait till September... that's a long way off. Strike while the iron is hot!! Tell her you'd love to have coffee or a drink with her before you go tomorrow.
You probably would have fared better if you hadn't brought facebook into it. Maybe she read some of your comments and disagrees with them.
Facebook is a great killer of budding relationships, and I truly believe that's what probably happened in your situation....just another one of the many casualties of discracebook.
Reading this just reminds me again how glad I am that my college days are behind me!
OP, do you and this girl live near each other, or is it infeasible to see her over the summer? If the latter, I would go ahead with very casual Facebook contact. Maybe "like" a couple of her posts, maybe send a message sometime mid-summer asking how her vacation is going. I would wait until after you're back in school in September before you ask her out. That way, when you finally do see her again in person, you can get another read on whether she likes you or not. If she continues exhibiting the coquettish behavior she's been showing you, go ahead and ask her out for something low-key (coffee or something) and see where your conversation takes you.
In hindsight, you probably should have made a move earlier, when you still had several months of the spring semester to develop your relationship. But it's too late to worry about that now, so I would just lie low and keep it casual until September.
How though? School year is almost over. Like I'm leaving tomorrow. Perhaps I should ask her sometime in the middle of summer on facebook how summer is going and ask if she wants to grab lunch or dinner when we return in the fall. Best case, she says yes, worst case, well it turns out she's not interested and I settled this question either way. Shouldn't hurt right? Does my sound good or can anyone suggest anything better?
This is the problem with the younger people today. You meet someone and rather than get to know them in person a few times you add them on FB. It's mind boggling at least to me, I have seen this with a younger relative when I have been out with them, they meet someone pull out their phones(well actually the phones are already out) and they add them to FB, never seems to go anywhere in real life.
I guess it makes them think they're popular with all these FB friends.
I think you need to learn from this, yes you can ask her to have lunch or dinner in the fall but that is months from now.
In the future ask someone in person, "can we go for coffee?", you had many opportunities to do this.
Don't mean to bash your generation(I find many younger people to have a lot of empathy) but there is a disconnect now due to social media, texting,etc. Where it seems interacting face to face is something many can't seem to do nowadays.
I mean you have known her for months, perhaps if you even called her(not texted) had a conversation and than asked her for coffee you wouldn't need to be posting this.
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