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Old 05-19-2015, 07:23 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
I don't consider her casual. She asked me to move in over a year ago, which I did because my lease was up and I was trying to buy a house and it made sense as I was there all the time anyway and my house sat empty for the most part. She talks of us buying a place together and talks of marriage, but I am not at that point with her because of situations I am not comfortable with just like this one. I know she thinks there is nothing wrong with what she is doing because she has said so.

If you live together, its definitely not casual.

You're just on different wavelengths about this stuff. Most people, even ones that like/care about each other, and have things in common, aren't a match for each other. We try to fit square pegs in round holes because finding someone you care about is tough, but this is just a fundamental difference in personality... and it sounds like the bridge between you is too big, since conversations haven't been able to find a good common ground.

It just happens. It sucks. Not much you can do. I, and I think most people, have tried to make these things work out, and you might find temporary middle grounds, but if the gulf it wide, it will always re appear.
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,288,409 times
Reputation: 30257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
I don't consider her casual. She asked me to move in over a year ago, which I did because my lease was up and I was trying to buy a house and it made sense as I was there all the time anyway and my house sat empty for the most part. She talks of us buying a place together and talks of marriage, but I am not at that point with her because of situations I am not comfortable with just like this one. I know she thinks there is nothing wrong with what she is doing because she has said so.
Personally, I dont tolerate this kind of behavior from a partner. If theres no communication, theres no relationship. I'm surprised she manages to hold a job with her poor communication skills.
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:31 AM
 
Location: PA
967 posts, read 684,419 times
Reputation: 1698
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Personally, I dont tolerate this kind of behavior from a partner. If theres no communication, theres no relationship. I'm surprised she manages to hold a job with her poor communication skills.
That's the worst part. She talks to people to make a living....the purpose of her business trips. Smoozing customers at high class hotels/resorts. Usually the loudest person in the bar and loves to be the center of attention. Extremely good looking and oozes money so she usually is. Has NO trouble conversing with anyone but me.
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:35 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
That's the worst part. She talks to people to make a living....the purpose of her business trips. Smoozing customers at high class hotels/resorts. Usually the loudest person in the bar and loves to be the center of attention. Extremely good looking and oozes money so she usually is. Has NO trouble conversing with anyone but me.

She has trouble conversing with you, because she doesn't respect you and likely wants to trade up from you. Do you find that the longer you two are together, the worse she treats you? If so, that's your answer. She's probably frustrated that she hasn't found a better person than you, so as time goes on she will start to treat you worse and worse, because she's not getting what she wants on her end either.

Maybe I'm wrong, but your relationship shouldn't be having these kinds of problems.
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:44 AM
 
706 posts, read 1,039,626 times
Reputation: 880
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
That's the worst part. She talks to people to make a living....the purpose of her business trips. Smoozing customers at high class hotels/resorts. Usually the loudest person in the bar and loves to be the center of attention. Extremely good looking and oozes money so she usually is. Has NO trouble conversing with anyone but me.
Yeah, dude, i don't believe this will end well for you. This is a red alarm. Does your GF become really flirty when she has alcohol in her system? She is having the time of her life when she is away from you. She wants you as a doormat. The stay at home BF while she has fun, hooks up, etc with other dudes. (a cuckcold or however you spell it)

You need to save some $$ to get your own apt. And take her advise, Tells me i should "go out and have fun" while she is gone because she is. Because she probably is...
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:45 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,415 posts, read 47,402,095 times
Reputation: 47680
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
She has trouble conversing with you, because she doesn't respect you and likely wants to trade up from you.
Or, more likely, she communicates all day for a living, and the last thing she wants to do is continue when she gets home.

Only SHE know why... but whatever the 'why', the OP is unhappy, and he should move out and move on.
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:49 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Or, more likely, she communicates all day for a living, and the last thing she wants to do is continue when she gets home.

Only SHE know why... but whatever the 'why', the OP is unhappy, and he should move out and move on.
C'mon man. People will communicate with who they want to communicate with, depending on how they feel about that person. Ever been with someone that you couldn't stop communicating with and then been with someone where you just wanted them to leave you alone?
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Old 05-19-2015, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,288,409 times
Reputation: 30257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
That's the worst part. She talks to people to make a living....the purpose of her business trips. Smoozing customers at high class hotels/resorts. Usually the loudest person in the bar and loves to be the center of attention. Extremely good looking and oozes money so she usually is. Has NO trouble conversing with anyone but me.
I agree, with weezerfan. She doesn't respect you. You're not that important to her.

Your decision on what to do next.
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Old 05-19-2015, 08:09 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,415 posts, read 47,402,095 times
Reputation: 47680
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
Ever been with someone that you couldn't stop communicating with and then been with someone where you just wanted them to leave you alone?
Sure!
I'll bet everyone has.
And the OP's girlfriend wants left alone.

And I'll repeat: " the OP is unhappy, and he should move out and move on. "
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Old 05-19-2015, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,288,409 times
Reputation: 30257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Or, more likely, she communicates all day for a living, and the last thing she wants to do is continue when she gets home.

Only SHE know why... but whatever the 'why', the OP is unhappy, and he should move out and move on.
I dont want to talk to you because I talk all day!

You can not be serious with this lame excuse?, Lol
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