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This isn't a whiny thread about why I'm single, it's the opposite actually.
I have noticed that when I'm single and not looking, I am ten times happier than when I'm single and looking or when I'm dating. Being single and not looking, I feel free, like a kid. I don't have any emotional baggage weighing me down or distractions from what I really want to do. I'm not anxiously waiting for a text or being paranoid about getting hurt or if I'm going to hurt somebody. And when I do think about my exes I just shrug it off and say it's the past. I feel like I have more control over my emotions and I feel more confident.
It's lovely to feel this great and high but once I start thinking about dating or looking, it makes me anxious and paranoid. I feel I have to guard myself and I just don't like the feeling overall. I know I made a thread not that long ago and I concluded I should not date for a while. This has been a pattern where I'm dating and I feel like crap so I take a break and I feel great and on top of the world and think I'm ready to date again but once I do, I fall back into the slumps. This makes me wonder if I'm just meant to be completely single (no fwb, absolutely nothing at all) then if it's been proved time and again that I'm just happier being single and not looking? I take it this is why so many people actually choose to be single? I hope to be with somebody one day and have it work out but I just don't know how if history shows that I've much happier alone than when I'm not.
No, you're not meant to be forever single. You're meant to overcome the need to guard yourself, so you can be your genuine self with women. If you have a history of bad choices, figure out what the red flags were that you missed. One reason why some people find love when they're least expecting it is due to your experience; they're happy and fulfilled when they're just enjoying their life without worrying about finding someone. They radiate positive energy, and that draws positive people to them. So keep up the good work, and don't freak out and close yourself off if a woman approaches you.
This isn't a whiny thread about why I'm single, it's the opposite actually.
I have noticed that when I'm single and not looking, I am ten times happier than when I'm single and looking or when I'm dating. Being single and not looking, I feel free, like a kid. I don't have any emotional baggage weighing me down or distractions from what I really want to do. I'm not anxiously waiting for a text or being paranoid about getting hurt or if I'm going to hurt somebody. And when I do think about my exes I just shrug it off and say it's the past. I feel like I have more control over my emotions and I feel more confident.
It's lovely to feel this great and high but once I start thinking about dating or looking, it makes me anxious and paranoid. I feel I have to guard myself and I just don't like the feeling overall. I know I made a thread not that long ago and I concluded I should not date for a while. This has been a pattern where I'm dating and I feel like crap so I take a break and I feel great and on top of the world and think I'm ready to date again but once I do, I fall back into the slumps. This makes me wonder if I'm just meant to be completely single (no fwb, absolutely nothing at all) then if it's been proved time and again that I'm just happier being single and not looking? I take it this is why so many people actually choose to be single? I hope to be with somebody one day and have it work out but I just don't know how if history shows that I've much happier alone than when I'm not.
Some of the best advice I've ever received was this...
Trust your gut....
What does your gut tell you??
Believe in yourself..... learn to know what you want.
All this goes away when you say F it to what you "think" you should do and just do what your gut is telling you... this is of course assuming were talking about normal things... LOL...
It sounds like you might be better off being single, but again... trust your "gut"
No one can tell you what is really right for you at the end of the day.
I don't know that it means you are meant to be single but I can sort of relate. It took me way to long to learn that I'm a poor judge of character and tended to be attracted to the wrong people. And yes, "looking" and being in new relationships brought out the worst in me, jealous, paranoid, insecure.
I think you might need to know yourself a little better and figure out what kind of person brings out the best in you. When I'm on my own I'm fine with myself. In relationships my very deep insecurities come out. So I needed someone who could soothe that.
It is awesome to live your life as it fits best for you! If you feel the life is best when you are single, then enjoy! Also you don't have to label or make your mind up. Be single entire your lifetime except if you meet someone who makes you feel better than being a single. Nobody ask if you swing your side
I can certainly relate to several of these posts, including the OP. I'm in the good, not looking, not caring phase right now. It'd be nice to have someone, but I'm enjoying what I'm doing and what I have going on right now. Of course, that could change tomorrow or next week, but I'm perfectly happy right now.
I've stopped looking, but only because of how frustrating it is. I've pretty much given up. Maybe that means a miracle will happen and I'll meet her, finally.
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