Post breakup advice: Should I try to get him back or just move on?

[halfamazing]

Originally Posted by jdmil

Yeah. You're doing a lot, darling.

You guys sound very young and immature. It's understandable at your age, but you have kids. Time to grow up.

First things first: get Casanova on child support. Stop sleeping with him. I doubt you really even like him that much...you just don't want the new chick to have him. If the two of you think you can make it work down the line, fine. But you both need to be more mature, first, and that starts with taking care of your primary responsibilities: your children.

^^^^

Op, read what this person wrote.

You have some real self image issues and it will not get better on its own. You need to be away from him and repair your own self. I am afraid that no matter what we say, your emotions will take over. You can't do this alone and you have to get your mind away from all of this. Talk to someone in your church or parents that can help guide you.

The problem you have is that you are not currently strong enough to keep him around for the sake of the children but keep away form him intimately. This is why I say have someone in between you in order to take away the emotional aspect. You probably are so emotional right now that non of this makes sense right now. But you have to really take a hold cause if not, you will repeat this cycle and your children will be the ones to suffer....

[Adhom]

Let's be realistic here. You already have two of his kids and you still love him despite whatever he does. You're not in charge, your emotions are. Either you decide to be a new person and drop him or just take whatever you can get with this man and not get mad that he has other girlfriends.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by kizzzzydizz

So my boyfriend and father of my two sons has been seeing another woman, I found out this week. Me and him been together for 5 years and we had our ups and downs but we always stuck together. In April he moved an hour away from me, and in July we had planned moving in together and be a family finally. I couldn't take the boys until July, so this week I had heard rumors he went to the bar and was all over this girl, and I knew something was up bc the last few weeks (ever since he hooked up with his old friend) he had become distance, so I go to a house to talk and he was not there, I call him and he lied saying he was with a guy friend then he called me back and said don't act crazy but im over mariahs house and when I get there he said shes a really good friend, she lets him drive her car, watch her kids and hes thinking about moving in. He said it makes him feel good being able to hang out with kids bc he cant see his that much and they make him feel loved, and I leave in tears. He refused to see me the rest of the week,
Update: he said Friday he would stay the night with me and see our kids but when Friday came he choose to hang out with her and her kids. And I begged and cried for him to come over and he wouldn't, not until 7 he finally asked If we could chill which by then I was home, it was late, and he was an hour away. So last night he was saying that he loves me but he likes Mariah...basically admitting he is having feelings. then I finally looked her up on fb and asked her if shes just a friend or more, and she finally said you need to talk to him bc its not my place...so I guess that answered it for me.
I feel guilty I cant move in until July with the kids, and its my fault and he just praises her so much, how good she is with her kids compared to me, and how he wants a woman...which I guess means he thinks I am not. He hasn't texted me today or called me I guess bc I had messaged her and told her he is saying they are only friends and he says he loves me still so what would yall do if your man/woman was dating someone else and not seeing the kids?
On Thursday he did come see me for a minute so I could give him something and we did end up having sex in her car and that made me feel like I got back at her somewhat but idk I love him and I am trying the no contact rule but this is my first relationship
I am 25 the last 5 years me and him were always together so I lost friends so idk how I can even move on without any friends, I am focusing on my kids and going to college this summer, but it would be nice to have girlfriends and any other tips on how to move on with my life, I still love him so he is worth getting back tho after this?

EDIT I copied and pasted this from yahoo answers and got no answers, I am doing the no contact rule on him, I have not talked to him since Friday night, he finally texted me Saturday at 6 asking wyd, then he called I didn't respond so at 11 pm he texted ok?? (asking if I was ok) so I never answered, Sunday at 10 in the morning he called two times then texted me pretend (which is that song by tinashe, last week he said her cd reminds him of me and I told him I thought of him when I would hear that song) so I didn't reply again. I think my girlfriend defeated the purpose of what I was doing at 3 when he called two more times and I didn't answer, so she called on off my phone, said I was busy and to only call me when it involves the kids and he got mad and hung up. She then blows him up and he answered not talking and she was like you know who I am you better not talk to me like that and he hung up, he stopped answering her calls OFF MY PHONE and then she texted him two times saying he better not talk to her like that and he better answer are he will get knocked. so he has not called me at all at this point, she was trying to help by showing him I am moving on from him and I just wanted him to regret was he has done to me, but I think she made not only herself look dumb to him but me as well. I don't want him thinking I am pressed (even tho I probably am) but he don't need to know that, so should I text him saying I wasn't around the phone or else she wouldn't had done it? or just keep ignoring him (even tho he stopped calling and texting)

Dump him. Be a woman and take care of your kids by yourself. You don't need a man for anything.

[vigueur2014]

Sorry to hear about the horrible behavior.....you need to do two things....take care of your sons, and get the hell away from their father. You have rights, and those rights need to be exercised. If a person is adult enough to father a kid, he should be man enough to pay. At the very least, you should get 6-700 per child per month, unless he doesn't work.