Playing mind games on men (wife, how to, hubby, kid)
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I have heard of a woman named Claire Cassey. She apparently has books, tapes, and a site that many women go to and follow her advice to get men.
I looked up some video that seemed like some drawn out scam or something. It said to come off like you don't need the man in your life whatsoever and to never give ultimatums.
My issue with that is what if after you stop playing games and he sees the real you, he doesn't like you as much?
I've never been good at playing games. I think it shows your insecurity and ruins the relationship rather than help it. I always try to be honest about how I feel even if that means I'm the one reaching out a bit more. But then I've never been good with relationships either.
You won't have to "play" hard to get, if you really are hard to get.
I think it's all about having good boundaries and carrying yourself with dignity. Live a full and busy life. Don't drop all your girlfriends the minute a man enters your life. So many women do that! I think dating advice books are addressing issues so many women have like that.
If you are feeling desperate for a man, it's better to not let it show. Address that issue and work on yourself. Some women ( a lot of women!) need to "fake it till they make it" or else they will just end up hurt.
Other women are naturally aloof and busy living their lives, so they don't need that type of advice. But lots do, in my opinion.
I am a reserved, private person naturally. I do not wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm also very busy and social so the advice in those types of books never applied to me. I also never had any shortage of men in my life, so I do believe that a lot of men are intrigued by a mysterious woman that they have to go after, verses a woman who falls into their lap. Just my observation.
If you are feeling desperate for a man, it's better to not let it show. Address that issue and work on yourself. Some women ( a lot of women!) need to "fake it till they make it" or else they will just end up hurt.
I am not desperate for a man. I can have pretty much anyone I want. But for once in my life there is a guy who I am scared to lose. A guy who I think is entirely on my level for once.
So, I don't want to screw things up.
I looked up some video that seemed like some drawn out scam or something. It said to come off like you don't need the man in your life whatsoever and to never give ultimatums.
My issue with that is what if after you stop playing games and he sees the real you, he doesn't like you as much?
I guess that's the thing. If you play a character, you either keep playing, or show the real you. The guy either likes that, and accepts you, or he'll leave you and you play games and get another one.
I was never one for games myself. Only games I play are literal activity games lol I am no good with the games, witty banter and flirty behavior. Just talking like a regular person. Like the thread where someone asks if women use their "feminine wiles" to get things. Me personally, not that I know of. I don't think I even have those lol except when it comes to my father, and that's all him-takes no effort on my part.
I think it's not some much play hard to get or come off like you don't care. But mainly being confident and not clingy. You want a nice man to be in your life, but it's not the center of you universe or something. lol When you come off as desperate, you attract equally desperate men, or users who will take advantage of your neediness, use you up and leave when they're bored. I would think that being too firm on the "I don't need you thing", it can get carried away and the woman in question comes off as a cold fish or someone who can't respond to kindness. Like if a guy holds a door open for her, and she wants to get an attitude with ""I can open my own door!" Some women go too far one way with that.
And when I say "you" I mean the general you, not you personally lol
I really don't care what relationship books have to say...basically they are telling you: "Do such and such, and act this way, then you will find your way to happiness."
Basically telling you to be fake just to attract some guy who isn't even attracted to YOU. If I happen to lose someone dear to me because I didn't act a certain way or I was afraid to screw stuff up...I would rather live with the pain of loss than the pain of them drifting away.
It's just not worth it to me. You shouldn't let what another human being does ********* up so bad...if someone chooses to walk out of my life life.
These types of games have been around for forever and they're usually just to try and trick men into commitment. Try to get him to chase you and he'll chase you all the way to the altar, is the ultimate goal. Most men understand most women don't want to date in perpetuity without commitment, and it's perfectly natural to want commitment when there's sex involved. Any secure person will have little patience for these kinds of games. I'm not going to waste my time if I think I'm more into a woman than she is into me. Doesn't have to mean anything is wrong with either of us, but let's be honest about that so we can be free to find someone where the attraction is mutual.
I am not desperate for a man. I can have pretty much anyone I want. But for once in my life there is a guy who I am scared to lose. A guy who I think is entirely on my level for once.
So, I don't want to screw things up.
Oh, I know. I was speaking generally and didn't mean to imply that you were desperate. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
If he's the right guy, he will love everything about you. It's really hard to lose a man who loves you for being you.
My husband just can't see all my faults the way other men did. It's kind of cool how that works. He loves and accepts everything about me. And vice versa, of course.
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