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Either. You don't get to long term relationships until you've had a short term one with that person. You'll never know where it goes until you're further in.
Several of mine have gone years, most don't. One went about 8 years. We only made out on our first date (it was from online, CL back in those days) though.
If there isn't some major making out fast though, it is certain it won't go anywhere. Relationships are difficult to find and make last, and without each person wanting to tear the other's clothes off? Impossible. There just isn't the desire or chemistry.
Heck, I'm going to a 10th anniversary party this Saturday for a college friend, that relationship started with a lot more than kissing as a bar hook up. Happens all the time. It's still probably the number one way people meet among the college educated (mostly more than undergrad) adults I know.
My longest relationship started off as a one night stand. I can still remember the next morning when she dropped me off at my car, she said you better call me. She took a chance with me and I was really into her, so I called her. There's been other women who had that same fate and I didn't call them. There's women who I wanted to see again and they didn't want to see me. You can't control how another person feels. You can only control how you feel and how you see that person in your life.
I've made out with women where it flamed out after a few days, weeks, or months. I've also not made out with a woman and it never went anywhere further than a first or second date. Sure, I may have kissed a lot of women, but I rather kiss a woman and still have a chance, compared to not kissing a woman and know I won't have a chance.
I'm friends with a woman now who I've seen maybe 3 times in 9 months. She's not attracted to me in that way, so why would she allocate anymore time to see me. As people get older, they just don't want to make a lot of time for the opposite sex friendships, if they're into heterosexual relationships. Quite honestly, when they spend a lot of time going out with the same guy, it's going to be perceived that they are in a relationship. It's also a bit rude for a stranger to go up to a man and woman and ask them if they're together.
So, many women avoid this and go out in groups. You can usually spot the ones in the group that are single too. They're either the ones totally sloppy drunk or they're the woman that can't wait to leave because there's no guys there for them.
Single life for a lot of men and women is not all that much fun as we age. I much rather be single than in a hellish relationship, but at the same time, I would love to be in a nice and fun relationship. I just have no control over when that will happen in my life.
Sounds like the circle I know too. No one goes for a move on the first date UNLESS it's someone I've known pretty well (as in knew socially first). Guess it goes to show everyone is different.
I am curious though, when people kiss/swap saliva/make out so much when they first meet and don't know each other, are these dates that end up being relationships that last or is it more of a case of someone looking for a hot and fast relationship of a few weeks or months before it all burns out?
First DATE...sure. First MEETING? I'd say it would be rare.
I'm of the same mind as ChessieMom. I don't enjoy kissing strangers, even if I think I like them. I've done it, because some men have gone in for a kiss right away and I had to make a split-second decision. Do I avert the kiss or do I go with it?
I always felt put on the spot, even when I was younger and wilder. And I pretty much knew that on the second date, he'll be wanting more than a kiss and testing my boundaries. Sigh. It was always so predictable and tiresome. I'm glad I'm not dating anymore.
Looking back, all of the SOs in my life waited until the second or third date to kiss me.
First DATE...sure. First MEETING? I'd say it would be rare.
I'm of the opinion that a first "meet" from OLD and a first "date" are the same thing, but I know I'm in the minority in that (as in apparently the only person on the planet who feels this way). I wouldn't have wanted to be kissed by the last two dates I had, one of which was from OKC. They were both good quality guys but there was just no connection on my end.
The last guy I dated kissed me the night we met before he even asked me out. That one was on and off for 6 months and truthfully shouldn't have gone past the second date. Damn good kisser though.
My late hubby kissed me on date #3. Our first date was a New Year's Eve party and we happened to be standing out alone on the balcony at midnight. He thought about kissing me then, but was afraid he'd scare me off. Instead, we had our second date 8 hours after the first one ended and were pretty much inseparable after that. There really are no hard and fast "rules."
Nothing at all sounds weird about this, other than an adult ice cream date thing.
Given I don't drink and have a horrible sweet tooth, I'd be down for an ice cream date - preferably gelato. We have a shop here that has some really outlandish flavors and I would likely silently judge the guy on whether or not he made an adventurous choice or stuck with plain ol' boring vanilla.
THIS ^^^ is the wrong way to reject someone. I think the problem is that you just aren't used to someone doing it the right way.
This hit the nail on the head. Im floored that someone would post about being rejected in that manner. I had to do that...TWICE. It took a couple more dates, but I wasn't feeling it and I was honest.
My goodness is this how weird the world has become? That woman did the right thing.
If there isn't some major making out fast though, it is certain it won't go anywhere. Relationships are difficult to find and make last, and without each person wanting to tear the other's clothes off? Impossible. There just isn't the desire or chemistry.
Yea I'm gonna go ahead and agree with this, seems to be true for me.
Had a first date last Friday which I thought went grest since we seemed to hit it off right away. We met for ice cream and them we walked to the waterfront and talked in front of the water. Then we went to get pizza and took another walk and ended up inside her car. We talked in her for 40 minutes and I didn't make a move bur she still seemed interested. After the date when she arrived home she called me and said she had a nice time on the voice-mail. I returned her call and she answered and we talked briefly and said good night. Then I texted her sunday asking how her weekend was and she asked me the same
Then all of a sudden last night she asked was i still up and I told her yes. So that's when I was going to set up a second date. All of a sudden she said that she needed to tell me something and said she didn't feel a spark on Friday and wanted to be honest with me. She said she stI'll wants to be my friend because I'm cool but she didn't feel a romantic connection.
Stunned because usually when someone is not interested in a second date they ignore you and don't reply back. Anyone else agree this sounds weird the way she did this?
Sounds like she "hits it off" with alot of people til she gets what she wants. Clearly, she isn't interested. Only she knows her true motives.
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