How do you guys feel about polyamory? (girl, friend, romantic)
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A single case of a guy forcing some woman into a situation that does not coincide with that woman's values does not quantify "destroying other peoples values."
There is 3 different answers and thoughts. I am unable to be spesific sometimes due to my problems to create sentences in english. I don't waste my time for nip pickers.
There is 3 different answers and thoughts. I am unable to be spesific sometimes due to my problems to create sentences in english. I don't waste my time for nip pickers.
Ah I understand. I wasn't necessarily picking on you.
But
Its natural for some people here to generalize their experiences unfairly across a population. This thread is an example of that.
Right! And that's why I got upset at someone who replied here. I don't expect people to all agree with it, but many of the comments are downright hateful and based on misinformation or "I knew one poly person and they were screwed up".
As a result of knowing ONE "poly person," as you say, I have known many, and they were all completely weird and screwed up. I'm not saying that means everyone is that way but it's a pretty sick lifestyle if you ask me. To pretend that somehow you can commit to a bunch of different people and that's totally fine is deviant behavior. You can do whatever you want, I don't care, it doesn't affect my life at all, but it's just like anything else -- I can still have my opinion about it and what I think of people who engage in that "lifestyle."
These people are usually trying to shove it in everyone else's face how great their life is and how great of a decision they've made and then on top of that how it's "natural" to be with a bunch of people. Yet at the same time, they deny that it's natural to be jealous of your partner screwing other people? I mean get real! There's something very wrong with you if you care so little about someone that you have NO problems with them screwing someone else. That's just not understandable behavior because it's against human nature in the same way that poly people think being monogamous is.
I would bet good money that if you figured out what percentage of the population are sociopaths and figured out what percentage of the poly people are sociopaths it would be GREATLY increased, like probably 5-10 times as many.
The worst to me is the people than confuse open relationships with poly ones and see them as synonymous, or even worse, they see them the same as swinging.
This is why so many people in less progressive areas keep things on the downlow.
True. There are so many variations out there it can make your head spin. What I have seen most recently is one woman with a husband, a boyfriend and or girlfriend in addition to being open to the field. I don't remember anything similar 10 years ago
Passing a law to criminalize polyamory people is indeed destroying other people's values.
We value different things as human. What you think is valuable may be junk in my view. Your value will not be destroyed unless either you submit to make a change or others force you to live a different lifestyles. Live and let live. You don't like the lifestyle, it does not mean it is wrong. It only means it's not for you.
"Passing a law to criminalize polyamory people is indeed destroying other people's values."
It can't be done anyway. People will just marry one person and have the other as a boyfriend.
Employing laws to say who you can and can not love or have relationship with has never worked. Same as Gay marriage: As long as they are consenting adults it's no business of mine.
As a result of knowing ONE "poly person," as you say, I have known many, and they were all completely weird and screwed up.
I see perception...
Monogamous relationships is quite far the common arrangement. As such we don't pass judgement on that population because "it is" the population.
However, when someone has observed a sample from a sub-population, its easy to conclude that one is the cause of the other.
Richard Kuklinkski is a well known contract killer who on the surface was a married with children. His family never knew he was a cold blooded contract killer. No one is going to conclude that married with children results in a contract cold hearted husband capable of killing.
I've seen many screwed up monogamous relationships. Implying that monogamous relationships equate to deviant relationships that are incapable of lasting long term is going to meet criticism. But swapping "monogamous" with "poly", would not meet criticism.
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Employing laws to say who you can and can not love or have relationship with has never worked.
It actually has worked. Case in point same-sex marriage. They are not privy to the same rights as a married couple as protected under the law (US).
My mother in law and her partner must always travel with documents of "power of attorney" in hopes to protect each others rights as a couple in case something seriously happened to one or the other. I don't know any married couples who must do the same. My wife and i have documents drawn up that our children may be under the guardianship of their grandmother (partner of the mother in law) even though their relationship is not directly protected under the law.
"Passing a law to criminalize polyamory people is indeed destroying other people's values."
It can't be done anyway. People will just marry one person and have the other as a boyfriend.
Employing laws to say who you can and can not love or have relationship with has never worked. Same as Gay marriage: As long as they are consenting adults it's no business of mine.
Plenty people feel it's in their right to force their own morality onto others.
Most western world demonize polyamorous people. In many countries, polygamy is illegal, punishable by prison time, and some did go to prison.
I am not supporting polygamy or gay marriage but I am supporting that people have the right to live a life they choose, whether or not it's polygamy, polyandry or same sex marriage. I am against demonizing one lifestyle while promoting others. They are all the same to me - none of my business.
To pretend that somehow you can commit to a bunch of different people and that's totally fine is deviant behavior.
I for example am in a relationship with two women. The three of us live together. We have two kids. We plan two more. What is not "totally fine" or "deviant" about us exactly except for the simple fact it is not so common?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
There's something very wrong with you if you care so little about someone that you have NO problems with them screwing someone else.
So because someone has a different value set to you - there is something "wrong" with them. Where did you purchase your pedestal from I wonder? Since when did different become wrong?
I for example am in a relationship with two women. The three of us live together. We have two kids. We plan two more. What is not "totally fine" or "deviant" about us exactly except for the simple fact it is not so common?
So because someone has a different value set to you - there is something "wrong" with them. Where did you purchase your pedestal from I wonder? Since when did different become wrong?
It's not common in the Christian controlled world, aka the west, which is most of Europe and North America. It's very very common in the other 3/4 of the world. We don't see them because the west still controls most of the media and propaganda, promoting their own value.
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