Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, one thing's for certain, attractiveness on the outside will be completely put off by whatever lurks on the inside for me.
I'll admit I'm no angel or man-of-god, but I do my homework well enough on everyone to tell whether or not they'll be getting on my nerves at some point.
And much to my loss, I'm quite sure they do too!!
What are you talking about? You do your homework on complete strangers? The thread topic is about hitting on strangers in public. I agree with the point that it's natural to want to talk to people you find attractive. It doesn't mean you have to put yourself out there immediately as wanting her number. You can start up a casual convo, and see how it goes, see what kind of response you get, and take it from there. It may not go anywhere, and may be nothing more than a pleasant exchange, but that's not so bad, either. Talking to attractive women isn't a bad way to spend 5 or 10 minutes, IMO. A simple chat doesn't take any "fortitude", it's just a chat. Even if you do ask her for her number and she turns you down, no harm done, right? A pleasant convo with another live human being is better than sitting behind a computer screen.
Are you in a small town where everyone knows each other? It's starting to sound like it. You're right, you should move, if that's the case. Not that that would solve your issues around fear of approaching women. You'll take that with you to wherever you go.
What are you talking about? You do your homework on complete strangers? The thread topic is about hitting on strangers in public. I agree with the point that it's natural to want to talk to people you find attractive. It doesn't mean you have to put yourself out there immediately as wanting her number. You can start up a casual convo, and see how it goes, see what kind of response you get, and take it from there. It may not go anywhere, and may be nothing more than a pleasant exchange, but that's not so bad, either. Talking to attractive women isn't a bad way to spend 5 or 10 minutes, IMO. A simple chat doesn't take any "fortitude", it's just a chat. Even if you do ask her for her number and she turns you down, no harm done, right? A pleasant convo with another live human being is better than sitting behind a computer screen.
Are you in a small town where everyone knows each other? It's starting to sound like it. You're right, you should move, if that's the case. Not that that would solve your issues around fear of approaching women. You'll take that with you to wherever you go.
Just really wish people at places like work and such would stop bothering me about it.
At least in a bigger city, everyone is too caught up in whatever scene they're involved in to care about anyone's personal business(ie,. notice they're by themselves a lot).
I never do this. On the other hand, I've gotten to where I hate online dating. I dislike it so much now that I've considered hiring a "coach" to help me get over my fear of approaching women and not overthink it. Its always been an issue and I've missed out on countless opportunities because of it. Its fear of rejection, embarrassment, not knowing what to say, etc. that gets in my way.
I cannot recall being hit on in public like a bookstore, grocery store, etc. (not including a club environment). I have smiled at men and returned some smiles, but nothing has resulted from it. I will say that older men are very vocal in their "appreciation" of my features (smile, hair, legs, etc.). However, I don't count those encounters as it is more "catcalling" than it is friendly flirting with intentions of dating.
I never do this. On the other hand, I've gotten to where I hate online dating. I dislike it so much now that I've considered hiring a "coach" to help me get over my fear of approaching women and not overthink it. Its always been an issue and I've missed out on countless opportunities because of it. Its fear of rejection, embarrassment, not knowing what to say, etc. that gets in my way.
Even if there's a moment where you feel awkward, in the grand scheme of things, one awkward moment with a stranger is meaningless. If she thinks it's lame, who cares? And you never know, she may think it's endearing. You can start by making polite chit-chat with women to pass the time in the check-out line, or wherever. It's not even an approach, it's just practice getting comfortable making light conversation. Just do that for awhile. You'll find yourself feeling at ease about it, maybe even enjoying it. Use these opportunities to observe women's reactions to your little chats: tone of voice, expression, subtle movements, if any. No pressure, just observe, and make pleasantries.
Also, if you haven't done this already, get involved in some groups or activities around your city. Practice talking to women there (it will be pretty much unavoidable, anyway). Doing that in a low-key environment, where there are no expectations, and people are participating in something together, is a great way to test the waters and get some practice socializing.
Little by little. Rome wasn't built in a day. And a coach is a great idea; anything that helps you move forward with this.
They're not natural salespeople. They just go with their instincts and chat up people they find attractive. It's a natural reaction. They don't overthink it, and fear isn't an issue. They just go with their immediate reaction to seeing someone attractive.
I have never heard of a person dying from a lack of love or a relationship. Not sure why posters on here think love and a job are the same things.
Cuz they're doin it wrong.
If they handled things right, then love wouldn't feel like a job.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Use these opportunities to observe women's reactions to your little chats: tone of voice, expression, subtle movements, if any. No pressure, just observe, and make pleasantries. 
