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Old 06-04-2015, 03:40 PM
 
2,669 posts, read 2,092,040 times
Reputation: 3690

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Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
Here's my suggestion and take on the whole thing:

YOU need therapy.
Your husband needs therapy.
Your mom needs therapy.
Your dad needs (if still alive) therapy.
Your sister needs therapy.
My suggestion is that all of America needs lots of therapy. That will make all the problems disappear immediately and very quickly.
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Old 06-04-2015, 05:53 PM
 
7,453 posts, read 4,686,150 times
Reputation: 5536
How did the job interview go?
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Denver
690 posts, read 2,108,371 times
Reputation: 356
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I have to know one thing....

WHAT WAS THE VIDEO GAME HE PLAYS?
Final Fantasy XIV
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Denver
690 posts, read 2,108,371 times
Reputation: 356
Thanks for all the thoughtful words and support. I talked to my husband today. We're still definitely in love and we're not going to give up. We were both having a bad day and, yes, texting probably wasn't the most effective way to talk it out. I'm sorry I complained about my husband and then said I didn't want relationship advice. I think I just really wanted to vent. I probably just need a close local friend (besides my husband) who I can talk to when things start to get overwhelming. I think I just let things build up until I explode and that's not the smart way to do things.

He's staying with my family out-of-state right now because he's learning construction/remodeling from my family's business. It did make me uncomfortable to hear that my mom was telling him only bad stories, but then I remembered how my mom was. Although she means well, she isn't exactly a positive person (could that be where I get it? ) And, to reassure me further, my husband said he can understand why I was an unhappy, frustrated child after spending time with my family. Although they aren't bad people, there is a lot of conflict and stress 24/7.

I think the interview went fine. I felt pretty good today. I just focused on work and conversation with my co-workers and didn't think about the drama. It was a really informal, laid-back interview, I may have over-prepared for it even. I have no idea if I'll get the job. Even if I don't, I'll get over it. I have a decent job currently and I'm treated pretty well. I'll just apply again the next chance I get. It's crazy how I was so stressed and worried yesterday but I'm happy today. Maybe medication isn't the answer. I'm thinking maybe I should just train myself to think positively so I'm a more pleasant person to be around.
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Old 06-04-2015, 09:23 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
9,053 posts, read 17,199,048 times
Reputation: 15226
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjohnson4381 View Post
Thanks for all the thoughtful words and support. I talked to my husband today. We're still definitely in love and we're not going to give up. We were both having a bad day and, yes, texting probably wasn't the most effective way to talk it out. I'm sorry I complained about my husband and then said I didn't want relationship advice. I think I just really wanted to vent. I probably just need a close local friend (besides my husband) who I can talk to when things start to get overwhelming. I think I just let things build up until I explode and that's not the smart way to do things.

He's staying with my family out-of-state right now because he's learning construction/remodeling from my family's business. It did make me uncomfortable to hear that my mom was telling him only bad stories, but then I remembered how my mom was. Although she means well, she isn't exactly a positive person (could that be where I get it? ) And, to reassure me further, my husband said he can understand why I was an unhappy, frustrated child after spending time with my family. Although they aren't bad people, there is a lot of conflict and stress 24/7.

I think the interview went fine. I felt pretty good today. I just focused on work and conversation with my co-workers and didn't think about the drama. It was a really informal, laid-back interview, I may have over-prepared for it even. I have no idea if I'll get the job. Even if I don't, I'll get over it. I have a decent job currently and I'm treated pretty well. I'll just apply again the next chance I get. It's crazy how I was so stressed and worried yesterday but I'm happy today. Maybe medication isn't the answer. I'm thinking maybe I should just train myself to think positively so I'm a more pleasant person to be around.
The bolded could be what he meant when he asked if there WERE any good stories from her. Again, shows how texts are no comparisons for actual voice conversations, which has emphasis, sarcasm, humor, etc.
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Old 06-04-2015, 09:47 PM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,415,462 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjohnson4381 View Post
My husband has been out of town for the past week and we got into this big fight via text on Monday. It started out as me complaining about a video game he plays and how I had a bad experience with the company that makes the game. I was saying nasty things about the company and that irritated him because I guess I did it one too many times. It escalated into him telling me he was tired of me and my complaining, hating and issues with my body. He told me I was just like my dad, which I did not like because my dad is kind of a jerk. He says that I'm anti-social and hate all people (not true, I'm just introverted and don't have or want tons of friends...but I do have a couple). And then he said once we get our money situation straightened out, we're going to get a divorce.

Then we talked again last night. He was still kind of negative and said we are headed to divorce town unless I "get some help". I made an appointment today to ask my doctor for anti-anxiety medication, I figured that's what he was getting at. But that doesn't really help me right now. I have a job interview tomorrow for a job that I think I might really enjoy and that will pay me well, but on top of being stressed out about everything, my self-esteem is in the gutter.

Oh yeah, and I also made my sister angry last night, so I'm worried that she will tell him the things I said while I was upset (I'm tired of supporting his &$$....I'm the best thing that happened to him but he still acts like a *%$&!, etc) because he's staying with my family right now. And my mom has been telling him stories about how mean I was as a kid and how I used to scream a lot. I asked him if she told him any good stories about me and he said "are there any?", so I take that as a "no".

I keep thinking about texting him to ask him for a vote of confidence for my interview but I'm worried we'll get into a fight again. I really want a peaceful night tonight. I also want to get some self-esteem back. Maybe I am an awful person. My best friend says I didn't do anything wrong and that he's just being a jerk. But my husband is threatening to divorce me, my mom doesn't have any good stories to tell about me and now my sister won't talk to me.

But I can work on all that later and I will. I don't want to be a bad person, if I indeed am one. For now, though, I just want to be relaxed and confident for my interview tomorrow. Any tips on how to feel better about yourself and not worry about the storm that might be ahead?
Maybe a motivating factor can be that finding prospects of a new job can be a rewarding endeavor for you to get out of a crummy marriage, to get away from a crummy family that doesn't support you, so you can start life anew for yourself.

I mean, having a mother who badmouths you? Then having a sister who won't talk to you? Then a husband who's upset bc you're upset over a videogame company he plays for via text?

No wonder you feel so bad about yourself! Toxic people. Toxic environment. And to have a mother who supports a son-in-law who's disrespectful to her own daughter? That's messed up!! Kick his leeching little sorry butt to the side of the curb! Sounds like you grew up in a family who thrives on drama and outcasting their own loved ones. These people don't sound like family.

Before the interview, imagine positive success and outcome. It's your life. It's your choice. Only you can make the positive changes for yourself.
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