Dating outside of your economic status (married, woman, older, child)

[iGlenn]

Originally Posted by Fat Freddy

So they told you that they had $100 million.
But it's in a Nigerian bank, right?

I would hold off on any decisions for a while.

Unless of course you arrived at the ball in a pumpkin coach and lost your glass slipper.

Just to be clear I'm not in this situation but I know someone that is. His feelings for her were taken over by greed and she broke up with him. He's meet her parents and been to their penthouse in NYC so I'm sure the money is legit.

I never thought it would have effected him this much and the sad part is he doesn't even realize it.

[miu]

If I were in love with someone that rich, I wouldn't have a problem with signing a fair prenup. To be honest, I would feel dirty accepting too much money from him in a divorce settlement. I wouldn't be thinking of him as a winning lottery ticket.

[dlh891]

Take it from me, it can be very hard to maintain a relationship where the two families are miles apart economically. The economic part usually affects the education, class, and general way of doing things in life. Very hard to try and blend together.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by iGlenn

Your dating someone for 6 months and things are starting to get serious. You haven't meet their family yet or many of their friends from where they grew up. Up till this point it appears that they have a seemingly normal lifestyle much like your own and they really have no need or desire for extravagant luxuries.

You get to the point where you want to meet each others families and thats when they decide to spill the beans. They tell you that they have significant wealth ($100+ million) and haven't said anything about it before due to not trusting people they don't know very well. A small part of you doesn't believe it but you eventually do meet the family and you realize they have told you the truth.

If you found yourself in such a situation could you honestly say that you wound not think differently of them? Would your feelings be taken over by greed? Would you sign a pre-nup if they asked you to? If you were fortunate enough to have significant wealth and your SO didn't would you ask them to sign a pre-nup?

Just curious as to what peoples thoughts were on this.

Thanks.

It wouldn't bother me a bit. I came into a LOT of $ after my divorce & my drug addicted boyfriend went through MOST of it....so it's better people don't know....JMHO....I would have really seen the writing on the wall if he never knew about my settlement...

[Tzaphkiel]

Sounds like money is an issue to both of you, one way or the other. I'd be leery of someone telling me after 6 months they are worth $100 million. What's the point? If he was really concerned about not trusting people, why tell you after 6 months? Or at all? Something is fishy in there. Sounds to me like you are dazzled by the wealth, and he is also using it as some sort of leverage in the relationship. Check your motives.

[iGlenn]

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

Sounds like money is an issue to both of you, one way or the other. I'd be leery of someone telling me after 6 months they are worth $100 million. What's the point? If he was really concerned about not trusting people, why tell you after 6 months? Or at all? Something is fishy in there. Sounds to me like you are dazzled by the wealth, and he is also using it as some sort of leverage in the relationship. Check your motives.

I guess the point of telling him was to brace him for the culture shock of meeting her family. If your at the point in the relationship where you are discussing marriage then I can see why finances would be discussed, you can't exactly keep something like that a secret forever. As a matter of fact I'd say that having disagreements on finances is the biggest strain on a marriage and is the number 1 reason for divorce. She obviously isn't dazzled by money because you'd never know she was wealthy based on the way she lived (however her families lifestyle is at the other end of the spectrum). It appears that my friend was dazzled by the money which is why they split up.

[dragon07]

What I find even funnier are those people who are "status wanna be's" and end up searching all their lives for the "ideal" person, and end up alone with their arrogant views. Unless you're Donald Trump and fall in love with the waitress at Denny's restaurant, I think love should come out to be the main ingredient not money.

[KevK]

Originally Posted by Anigirli

I feel that love can be the thing to bridge and cement any differences a couple can face.

That sounds nice and all but in reality it is total bull. Love does not bridge all things different. The fact is that the more people have in common, the more likely it is that a relationship will be happy, healthy and long lasting. If you look at stats, you will find that people from the same social, economic, racial and religious background have the longest lasting and most stable realtionships.
That is not to say that you cannot have some differences but if they are important to you, keep in mind that you will be fussing and fighting over them. A poor or working class guy marrying a rich girl is always going to cause friction.
The first time the gal seems to look down her nose at him, he is going to get offended and the fight will be on. I can hear it now" "Honey why don't you watch less TV and read or take a college course?" to which he will say "oh just because your rich daddy can send you to college, you think you can talk down to me".

[dragon07]

Originally Posted by KevK

That sounds nice and all but in reality it is total bull. Love does not bridge all things different. The fact is that the more people have in common, the more likely it is that a relationship will be happy, healthy and long lasting. If you look at stats, you will find that people from the same social, economic, racial and religious background have the longest lasting and most stable realtionships.
That is not to say that you cannot have some differences but if they are important to you, keep in mind that you will be fussing and fighting over them. A poor or working class guy marrying a rich girl is always going to cause friction.
The first time the gal seems to look down her nose at him, he is going to get offended and the fight will be on. I can hear it now" "Honey why don't you watch less TV and read or take a college course?" to which he will say "oh just because your rich daddy can send you to college, you think you can talk down to me".

I agree 100%. Great quotes

[future1]

I just had one of life's lessons handed to me about the difference in "status". I was dating someone who was funny, kind and in a different money situation than me. Things I thought of as no big deal turned out to be a deal breaker. Since I am pretty low key about money I was shocked. HE knew the differences were there even without my mentioning them just by how we talked about dinners out, vacations and those normal things.

After leaving a good chunk of change with my ex I am all in favor of pre-nups. I think of pre-nups as insurance-something you hope you never need but if you need it you better have it.